Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time
by DSX62415
Summary: What happens when a person from our world interferes with the events of Neon Genesis Evangelion? Read on and find out. Rated now M because of certain reasons in episode 6..
1. (not) what you expected, isn't it?

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **(Warning: all properties belong to their respective copyright holders/ creators. Eva to Anno, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea)**

They say that getting struck by lightning twice is bad luck, but getting struck by **dimensional** lightning twice **at the same time** , now that's a real pain in the ass. I used to be a regular guy. Not too smart, not to fit, spending some of my free time writing stories involving my favorite shows, movies and games to post on the internet while the rest was spent dealing with my personal life doing things like being with family, building GunPla, doodling pictures out of boredom, those kinds of things. But that all ended when two bolts of cosmic "screw your old life, here's something new without any notice" flung me from my home town during a rainy day to somewhere that could **really** use a kick in the pants. The next thing I know, I wake up in a penthouse suite inside of a version of Las Vegas that looked like it had gone through some major renovations with the city being expanded into something that could easily have been taken out of the pages of a Marvel or DC comic, let alone one of the futuristic cities seen in later Final Fantasy games. I look around the room trying to figure out just what the hell happened to me and why I was in Super Vegas, all while nursing a massive headache mind you.

"Jezzum freaking crow, what the hell happened to me? And why in the name of all that is sacred am I in some sort of futuristic Vegas penthouse suite?"

Well, parts of an answer came to me curtosey of an Asian female with long green hair and matching eyes wearing a French maid's outfit who strangely reminded me of the Yu-Gi-Oh monster "Wynn the Wind Charmer", except that she looked like she was about 19 years old.

"Sir, the other SEELE members are waiting for you in the study."

That's when things started to slowly but surely come together once I had realized that I was in an alternate version of Neon Genesis Evangelion where I was the agent of the organization's American branch. Even though I had a location, I still needed to figure out how I wound up here, what do I do now, and why I have this raging headache (though I'd pretty much chalk it up to the whole "getting struck by lightning twice" deal that I just went through). I knew I couldn't just leave the maid in my room hanging, so I chose to respond to her in the best way I could think of given my current situation.

"Thank you, tell them I'll be with them in a few minutes."

She simply nodded and walked out of the room in a slight hurry while I decided to change out of the lime green pajamas that I had on (though I wasn't wearing 'em back on Earth Prime). Looking in a nearby closet, I decided to settle with a white dress shirt under a red newscaster's coat with a pair of black slacks held up by some kind of furry belt that I didn't remember putting on for some reason and a pair of black faux leather loafers to pull it all together. A few minutes of inspecting any changes to my appearance later with my eye and hair color changing to jet black and I was ready to go face a bunch of old fossils hell bent on instigating Armageddon. Walking through the halls of the penthouse, I eventually find the room labeled "Study" before opening the door to be greeted by the head bone bag himself: Keel Lorenz.

"Ah, the illustrious American representative finally graces us with his presence. Take a seat."

I decided to play along for now and sat down in between the SEELE representatives of France and China: a pretty slender Caucasian female with waist length black hair and dark blue eyes wearing a red strapless gown under a black blazer and a pair of white pumps that made her look like she was gonna go clubbing after we were done here to the left of me and a muscular elderly Asian male with slicked back silver hair and jet black eyes sporting a beard that would make the world beard growing champion jealous based on styling alone wearing a bone white suit with black loafers. Yeah, not really fitting the description of the kind of people you would think would be trying to destroy the world for their own personal gain, or at least what I think of. So here I am, nursing a giant headache while I have to listen to the old fool that thinks he's leading this operation prattle on about their evil plan.

"As you know, we don't have much time left before our plans go into full fruition. We only have two months before the arrival of the third angel as it was prophisised in the Dead Sea Scrolls. I have made sure that Evangelion Units 00 and 01 are complete and ready to fulfill the jobs they were designed to do. Unit-02 however has unfortunately hit a slight delay."

Hmmmmmmmmm, so by piecing the bits and snippets of information I've been getting today, I had been sent here two months before the start of the actual series. Perhaps I could use this to my advantage. I mean, I have all of the members of SEELE, which apparently includes myself in one room, there's something just bound to be able to do away with the rest of 'em in one go in this room, then I could maybe take down NERV while helping Shinji become a more powerful god then he could ever become in either the series, the "End of EVA", or the "Rebuild" movies while teaching the pricks in this universe that needed to be taught a lesson in the slowest and most painful way possible (man I sounded sadistic with that, didn't I?). But before I could even think of doing any of that, I still had to deal with the big elephant in the room: how to do away with the other 14 SEELE members so I can figure out what to do next? I knew I didn't have a gun on me to do it in the simple/ sloppier way, and I knew I couldn't ask to be excused from the room while a bomb or grenade goes off in there to blow 'em all up, plus I couldn't see anything in the room that could be used as a lethal weapon to defend myself since I was pretty sure that they were all packing heat in case one of us decided to go rouge. Though I couldn't blame 'em, I was planning to do that right now. Plus this damn headache wasn't doing anything to help me as I had to keep listening to Keel and the other go on and on and on and on about how Second Impact really screwed up the world and how they think that the Human Instrumentality Project was the last resort for our race's survival, but anyone who knows anything about this series knows what happens during Instrumentality/Third/Fourth Impact, and that their whole idea of it was nothing more than a boat load of pure, unadulterated bull crap. I sigh mentally as I figure that all I could do right now was sit back and listen to this mountain of lies and delusional ramblings until I can figure out how to carry out my own agenda, which leaves me to just utter a quiet sigh as I place my hands on the table's edge, thinking that I wasn't gonna be able to make any difference to this world today...or so I thought. You see, it turns out that when I placed my hands on the table, the other SEELE members who had body parts resting on it started to look like they were in the middle of a massive seizure as I watch 'em spasm and twitch before Lorenz notices what's going on.

"What is the meaning of this?"

I would have warned him about what he was about to do before he put his hands on the table and started spazing out too, but two reasons prevented me from doing it: the first being that even I didn't know what the hell was making this happen and why I wasn't affected by it. What was the second, you may ask? Well, this was kinda playing right into my hand, and I really didn't want to. A few seconds later and I take my hands off the table to see that pretty much every other SEELE member, Lorenz included looked like they had all died from a series of fatal heart attacks. Despite this being kinda what I wanted to happen, I still had to wonder why I wasn't dead on the floor or on the table like the rest of 'em. Of course today being what it was, I didn't even have the time to think about what just happened because of a portal that probably had absolutely **no reason** to be there started to glow behind me as someone steps out from it: someone that I actually recognized considering that **I was the one who created him.**

"So the rumors are true: a new level 10 Warper has come to be."

And that's when it all started to hit me like a sack of hammers: the lightning, me winding up in the world of Evangelion, most likely the reason why I didn't spaz out and die when I touched the table like the rest of the bone bags, pretty much everything. I had read up on the subject and even got a little cyber buddy/cyber buddy with the guy who came up with the whole concept, but I never thought that this was how I would become an all powerful level 10 **Reality Warper!** (No joke, I always thought I would get to that level through something that would speed up the process while I was still on Earth Prime.) Of course I knew what was coming next considering that I had written a similar sequence in one of the projects I was working on back on Earth Prime, so I payed attention to what the Hispanic male facing me had to say.

"I assume you already know who I am and why I'm here, but in case you forgot, allow me to give you a refresher: my name is Tulio Rodriguez, I'm an agent for the Order of Reality."

Knowing what was coming next, I chose to pipe up on the matter.

"And you're here to register me with the order now that I'm level 10, right?"

Of course Tulio confirmed my suspicions by saying "You catch on quick, don't you?"

To which I can only reply "It's been a really long day for me, I've had time to piece it all together."

He chuckles before telling me "I'm sure it has been quite a day for you. You know, this truly is a momentous day for all Warper kind: the day that a new level 10 Warper comes into power. You'll be joining a very exclusive group of people this day: a group consisting of the likes of Mrs. Loveless and the mighty Blackthorn family: the most powerful group of Warpers in all of existence."

Normally, I would be pretty excited about something like this, but with the migraine from the lightning and having to sit through the delusional fantasies of those old geezers, all I wanted to do right now was lie down in bed and figure out what I was gonna do now that I was here.

"Listen, as much as I would love to get the whole rundown on this whole "level 10 Warper" thing, do you mind if we just get down to the paperwork? I gotta raging headache from the way I got here in the first place, and I really just wanna go lie down until it fades."

Surprisingly for a bureaucrat, Tulio was pretty understanding about the whole thing.

"But of course, being hit with dimensional lightning will do that to a man. Now, if you could just sign these papers, we can get things all settled with the council, who I'm sure would love to meet you once you've recovered."

The Hispanic bureaucrat then handed me a set of papers to fill out and a pen to do it with as I began to fill out the vital stuff: who I was, what universe I came from, the date of the universe I wound up in, crap like that. I hand the stuff back to Rodriguez before he gives it the old comb over.

"Hmmmm...I realize that you didn't put your real name here. Is there any real reason for doing that?"

I already had my answer to that ready when I responded "Well, considering how I was rather protective about my true identity back on Earth Prime, I'd rather use an alias just in case people back home or other Warpers see or read any of this. That gonna be a problem?"

To which Tulio answers "Nope. With a case like that, it would be a perfectly acceptable reason, "Mr. Desmond Bishops". Well then, everything else checks out, the Order will be in touch when you feel ready to meet with them. But in the meantime, please enjoy this "Welcome to Being a Reality Warper" gift basket while you rest up. It's nothing too special, just some assorted soaps and candies from across the multiverse, a new phone with unlimited talk, text, web and access to both Earth Prime and local internet that you'll never have to pay a phone bill for ever again, an official checkbook for your dimensional bank account, a dimensional ID that will change rank every time you level up, a rule book containing the Warper laws that you should know, and the first 50 episodes of "Talk Time with CherieRoseLoveless", one of our most popular shows."

Hearing the whole "changing rank when leveling up" thing made have to ask. "Wait, if I'm already the highest level a Warper can get to, why did you say that my ID would change based on whenever I would level up?"

Tulio replied "Oh right, sorry. Do this with enough fictional characters that learn that their world isn't real, and it becomes quite the habit. So, until we meet again, I bid you good day, sir."

Well, it was official: my days of being a regular shmuck were over and my days as being one of the most powerful beings in the multiverse had just begun. But I knew there were still some things to take care of before I could really do anything with my newfound power, namely dealing with the pile of evil dead old people in my apparent study. I probably could have the maid take care of it, but if she was anything like how I imagined "Wynn the Wind Charmer" could be, she would most likely black out the very first second she saw the bodies. I couldn't bare to make her do that, so I chose to stop her before she entered the room.

"Uh, I probably wouldn't go in there if I were you, miss..."

"M-miyabi, sir. W-wynn Miyabi."

"Right, right, sorry. Rough day. Listen Wynn, don't panic, but I may need you to call an ambulance. Again, don't panic, but the other SEELE members may or may not have all suffered a series of massive heart attacks during the meeting, and they may or may not be...well, what would be the best word to use in a situation like this?...dead."

"Oh my goodness! I-I-I'll make the call right away!"

I made up a quick excuse to draw attention away from myself since she was sure to ask questions regarding how this all happened.

"I honestly don't know what happened. One minute we were talking about the project that was going on in Tokyo 3, the next, they're all spazing out like they were all having massive seizures and before you know it: they're all lying down dead on the floor or slumped over the desk."

Of course she had to ask the one thing that I didn't have an answer to that wouldn't make her a Warper too. I mean I could have said it, but then she would probably think I was crazy and call the cops on me saying that I did it.

"But why aren't you dead as well, sir?"

I had to think fast, so I replied by saying the only thing that came out of my brain at the moment: "I guess it's because I'm younger than all of them and I try and take better care of myself? I honestly don't have a decent answer to that. All I know for sure is that we need an ambulance here, pronto."

She then quickly calls 911 while I slump back in an armchair and wait to give out my side of the story when the medics and possibly the cops show up. Great, when something good-ish happens today, two bad things have to happen to me too. Thank god that getting the authorities off of my back was relatively easy thanks to my political status in this universe, but I still had to make up a quick story about what happened to the other 14 codgers. Once all of the bodies had been cleared out and all of the emergency service members had left me alone, I decided to try and relax by sitting down in the center of the large half circle shaped sofa in my living room and turn on the TV to try and take my mind off of things. Thank god that I wound up in a universe that had on "Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law" on a version of Adult Swim that had branched off from Cartoon Network to become its own channel, I could really go for some legal based Hannah Barbera comedy right about now. The commercials come about as I shift my attention to Wynn who was still standing there with a concerned look on her face.

"Look, I'm still freaked out about what happened too, but I guess it was just their time. And when the big man upstairs tells you that it's your time, there's just no point in fighting it."

Well, I guess that my little pep talk didn't really work since Wynn still looked like she was still freaking out about it mentally.

"I-I-I'm aw-w-ware of th-that, s-s-sir. B-b-but i-it still doesn't m-make it any l-less scary than it already is."

She had me licked on that, I had to hand it to her. But even so, I still had to soldier on with my plans. And I had just the right idea to get them in motion.

"I know that this probably isn't the best time to talk about this, but before the uh, let's just call it an "incident" and leave it at that, the other members had assigned me to look over NERV's operations in Tokyo 3, and I think that it would be a good idea if you came with me. You know, to get away from well,...this and what happened today."

I could already tell that she was pretty hesitant to leave this city behind because she remained silent for a few moments before finally piping up.

"I-I w-would be willing to go with you, sir. B-but I do have a request."

After having to deal with what she did today, I was more than willing to hear her out.

"Alright, tell me what you want."

"W-well, wh-what I-I would like w-w-would b-be th-that m-my r-r-roommates be allowed to come with me. W-we've been v-very close f-for a v-very long time, a-a-and we really don't like being apart from one another. W-would th-that b-b-be alright with you, s-s-sir?"

Of course I was willing to do it, but saying "yes" to her request without asking a follow-up question would make me look like an incompetent employer.

"How good are they at keeping house?"

"Th-they would be more than willing to help me keep things tidy while you're away for the day. Th-they always h-help me h-however they can when we're at home together."

I had all I needed.

"Good enough, tell 'em to pack their bags to travel to Tokyo 3 since I'm hiring them to be your assistants."

She was ecstatic, just like I thought she would be.

"Th-thank you, sir. I-I'll call them r-right now. I promise that they won't let you down."

I tell her that it's no problem given the situation and excuse her for the evening so she can get her affairs in order before the big move as I shift my attention back to the legal antics of one Harvey Birdman before heading off to bed a few hours later, just glad that this day was over. I would meet with the Order of Reality eventually, but for right now, I just wanted to get my plans rolling along and for that, I would need rest. I lie down on the bed waiting for my eyes to close for the evening, but not before I was hit with one more little surprise for the day when I went to go undo the thing that I thought was a belt as it unfurled on its own to reveal... **an actual working primate's tail** , which could possibly mean one major thing that made me thank whoever was looking after me that tonight wasn't a goddamn full moon.

"Oh, screw me."

Looks like I'm gonna be meeting with the order a little earlier than planned...wonderful.

 **(Author's Note: Yep, it's that kind of story with me going around with god-like powers messing around with the Evangelion timeline. How is this one gonna be different than the others? Well, you'll just have to read to find out. For a full comprehensive list of the ranking system of Reality Warpers, please visit the third chapter of Yoshi3000's "Send In the Miis", it'll have all the info you need on Warpers. Until next time, don't forget to favorite, follow and review and as always, DSX62415, out.)**


	2. You Must (not) Turn Into A Great Ape

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **02: You Must (not) Turn Into A Giant Ape**

 **(Warning: all properties belong to their respective copyright holders/ creators. Eva to Anno, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea)**

 **Tokyo 3, nowhere else in the world of EVA will you find a more retched hive of scum and villainy (or at least one with a public face to it).** It was here that my plan to change the fates of many for the better would take fruit. However, there were still a few places I needed to go and visit before I could even think about putting any of my plans into action first. The first stop: Order of Reality headquarters. One thing I had to give 'em: for a bunch of bureaucrats, they really dug themselves a nice place to set up shop and call home. Marble flooring, massive indoor fountains, some of the best pictures that Deviantart ever had to offer all on the walls, these guys knew how to make a place look fancy. I walk along the main halls with Tulio acting as my guide before we manage to reach the main council room which housed the head honchos of the order: Bat-Mite, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Rebecca Dill, and their leader Jeremey Kris. **(Do keep in mind that this story takes place in between Yoshi3000's "Aftermath of Anistar" and the time that most of the Blackthorn children are early on in their journeys, so Katsumi Blackthorn II isn't apart of the council yet)** It was then that Kris was the first to approach me.

"Hard to believe that the rumors have come to fruition, and a new level 10 Warper has come to be. You know what I find strange? Your registrations states that you're from Earth Prime, but you somehow obtained the tail of a Saiyan from the worlds of Dragon Ball."

I simply and bluntly reply by saying "I was seriously hoping that you guys would have an answer to this. Do you at least know anyone who does know about stuff like this?"

Now, old Jeremey had to think about it for a few seconds before he finally told me "You know, I think I know just the guy. And he happens to be one of the best doctors in all of Warper-dom. Bat-Mite, make the call."

The SD version of Batman conjures up a paging system out of nowhere before he goes on saying "Paging Dr. Moltar. Paging Dr. Moltar. Where you at, hot head?"

It was a few seconds later that I hear the C. Martin Croker infused voice of a certain lava creature yelling out "Hold your damn horses, I'm coming, you little twerp!"

Bat-Mite wasn't kidding about who the doctor was as I saw the red and blue hazmat suit wearing alien from Space Ghost himself, Moltar walk into the room from a portal wearing a white doctor's coat and a stethoscope.

"Alright, whatdya' need this time? Someone come down with a case of Chronenberg?"

Jeremey responds by saying "No, nothing like that. We were actually hoping that you could give our newfound friend here the old go over to help with a little situation of his."

Apparently, news spreads pretty quick around here as Moltar instantly recognized my recent increase in ranking.

"Holy crap! They weren't joking around when they said that a new level 10 Warper came to be, were they?"

Bat-Mite responds by saying "Oh, the rumors are indeed true, my molten friend. This here is the newest Earth Prime born being to break into a fictional world, and reach the highest rank in all of Warper-dom. And what we need from you is to give him the old go over to see if his DNA was altered in any way during the transfer outside of the tail."

Moltar gives me a look before stating "Alright, let's see what we're dealing with here. Spread your arms and legs as far as they can go so I can do this properly."

The molten man of Hannah Barbera then pulls out a Rick Berman-era Star Trek medical Tricorder and gives me the quote unquote good old go over before checking out his findings. But of course, being the curious person that I am, I had to ask how he came to work for the order.

"Hey Moltar, I thought you were doing stuff with Blues Traveler after Space Ghost: Coast to Coast wrapped and went back to your home planet when you were done, how come you're working as a doctor for these guys?"

"Yeah, well after the last tour, I decided it was best to go out in search of new things in life, and working for these guys as a doctor for Warpers definitely beats solitary, or having to work for Space Ghost again. Sure, I could go back to my planet whenever I want and resume my old evil plans, but these guys pay pretty well so I said screw it."

Moltar scans the readings for a little while longer until he finally gives me the diagnosis.

"Alright, I think I know what happened. The reports say that he was struck with two bolts of dimensional lightning, right?"

Mr. Kris then responds by saying "That's right. According to the findings from the dimensional weather department, one bolt came from a Dragon Ball world while the other came from a version of Jiha Village from Gurren Lagann."

Moltar continues by going "Right. So, when you were struck with each of the bolts, your genetic code must have been altered during your transfer from Earth Prime to the Evangelion universe you landed in. Needless to say that it would be a pretty good guess to say that the alterations to your DNA have made you at least 25% Saiyan with some semblance of the ability to manipulate Spiral Energy thrown in for good measure, hence why you have the tail."

To which Rebecca chimes in and says "Yeah, you might want to get that removed before you go back to where ever it is that you're staying since I'm pretty sure that you don't want to turn into a Great Ape every time there's a full moon."

Which Moltar adds on by stating "Tail removal is a pretty simple procedure for Saiyans. All you really gotta do is just yank the thing off and it's over."

Well, it was worth a shot as I grabbed a hold of the simian bastard before I pull on it with all my might until I hear a popping noise before I open my eyes to see that I had successfully pulled the tail off. Well, at least that problem is out of the way now, but I had to take care of a few things before I could put my plans into motion. The big one being to learn how to control my new powers. I wasn't stupid, even I knew that guys like the Blackthorns had years of practice before they got their powers down pat, but the tough part about that: I only had about two months before the events of the series began, and I really wanted to get things moving by then.

"Listen, I kinda need to do some serious training to get my new abilities down pat so I can deal with something in the universe that I got stuck in."

Dill bluntly asks "You're trying to get rid of the angels faster than the EVAs ever could, aren't you?"

I respond by saying "Among other things. The big problem is that in that universe, I only have about two months before the third angel shows up to trash Tokyo 3. So, is there someplace or someone that I can go to in order to get the help I need?"

Kris tries to think of a few places and people who are available to suit my needs before he comes up with a few choices.

"Unfortunately, the Hyperbolic Time Chamber in Toki Toki Town isn't available until sometime next year due to a long list of reservations, so that's out of the picture for the time being. However, I think I know someone who can at least help you with basic Ki control, use and combat training."

The order leader then pulls up a file on a female Majin with dark grey skin and tendrils acting as her hair while her eyes were a vibrant sky blue.

"This is Mura Tenin, a retiring member of the Time Patrol who just so happens to be planning on visiting the many Evangelion timelines. We can set her up with a place in your timeline and have her meet up with you to act as a sort of coach if you wish."

I look over her file and immediately thought that having a seasoned veteran Time Patroller like her to teach me what I needed to know on how to use Ki and possibly Spiral Energy was better than nothing.

"While my original plan was to use the Hyperbolic Time Chamber to get in about 30 years worth of training in the limited time that I have, I'd be more than willing to settle for learning from a seasoned warrior like Ms. Tenin."

To which Kris replies by saying "Excellent. We'll have her meet up with you upon your return to your EVA universe. However, I must warn you that using Ki to defend yourself and fight isn't gonna cut it on its own. If you really want to hone your skills as a Warper, you'll need a few things. And luckily, we know just the person you can get them from."

"Do I even wanna know who it is?"

Mxyzptlk finally chimes in on the subject by stating "Considering that he might just become your go to guy for pretty much anything in the multiverse, then I'd say yes. Check the contacts on the phone you got from the gift basket."

I quickly pull out the phone I got from the aforementioned basket and pulled up the contacts list. I hadn't bothered to add any numbers other than Wynn's seeing as I really didn't need to at that point, but I did notice that one was already programmed in there for me that I didn't add: one that was simply listed as "Merch".

Mxyzptlk continues his explanation by stating "We'll have him meet up with you at one of the space ports, from there he can hook you up with everything you could possibly need to start out."

"Thanks for the tip-off. Anything else you wanna warn me about, or is this it?"

Kris replies "Nope, that's pretty much it. You can head to the space ports at any time if you'd like. And on an off note, I think I can speak for all of the council members when I say that it was a pleasure getting to meet you."

"Likewise."

I leave the room to let the council and Moltar go back to doing what they would normally do during the work day as I try to make my way to the space ports mentioned to me. The time had come for me to meet the Merch (for some reason, Team Fortress 2 music started blasting on the intercoms. Don't ask me why). It had took me a while, but after swallowing my pride and asking directions from a random Morty that was doing errands with his Rick (which reminded me to find a Rick of my own to do business with while I was still here), I had finally arrived at the space ports as I find myself staring down the hull of a ship that was pretty much an exact replica of the GPS Absolution 2.5 as someone who could only be described as a near identical version of the Black Lagoon character Rock save for a pair of bright green eyes wearing a 3 piece grey suit step out of the hangar that T.O.M. 3 and possibly T.O.M. 3.5 would have stored his personal space fighter jet.

"Well well well, the rumors about a new level 10 Warper showing themselves around here are true. Welcome to the club."

"I was told that you were the guy who could set me up with the stuff I need to be a decent Warper. At least I hope that you're the guy that I'm supposed to see."

"If you're looking for one of the best salesmen in all the multiverse with connections with the most powerful family in all of Warping, then yeah, I'm your guy. Step aboard my ship and we'll get you set up with what you need while you can take a look around to find anything you might like, for a fair price of course."

Why could I already feel like my wallet was gonna kick my ass for this? We step aboard the ship as I was taken aback by all of the things that were for sale on the ship: books, shows, gadgets, weapons and more galore. We stop in the center of the main weapons dealing room on deck 12 as Merch states "Why don't you wait here and take a look around for any weapons that you might like or need for...whatever it is you're planning on doing in the universe you wound up in, while I go get you the Warper essentials."

He then walks out of the room while I start taking a good look around at some of the weapons that instantly took my interest, some of which might just seem a tad bit unconventional. I mean sure, I took a close look at stuff like the version of the Rising Titan Sword that Kamen Rider Kuuga uses while in Ultimate form and Qrow's gunsword from RWBY in terms of melee weapons and firearms like the Gears of War Lancer or the many fire arms that are used by the USNC from Halo, but there were plenty of weapons in that room that didn't quite fit the status quo of what you would expect from weaponry. Of course you had example of such with the landscaping tool Death Scythes from Black Butler, the various Sheep-inators from the Ratchet and Clank games, trumpets that could make sonic booms just by being blown (get your heads out of the gutter), guitars that would make various things to happen depending on what song you played on it, and even some of RWBY's more stranger weapons like Velvet's magic camera. I keep looking for a little while longer until Merch comes back into the room wheeling in a butt load of stuff.

"Alright, I think this just about covers the basic Warper necessities: dimensional cable box, dimensional computer with access to Earth Prime and local dimensional internet, Nintendo Warpspark with a sizable amount of games, portal gun for getting around dimensions until you can master making portals on your own, unedited evidence against NERV and SELEE since I thought you might need something like that, all of the original EVA TV series, the End of Eva movie and the four Rebuild movies in case you're planning to make some of the characters there into Warpers too, and the complete "Every Skill a Warper Needs for Dummies" book series. Now then, find any weapons you like, or would you like me to make a few recommendations?"

I instantly grabbed a few weapons that caught my eye and added 'em onto the pile of stuff that Merch had wheeled in. Nothing too special, just the Ultimate Rising Titan Sword, a Minecraft diamond sword (just because), a Lancer Rifle, the Sword of Tengu from the 2003-2009 TMNT series with the special handling glove, a Dominator pistol from Psycho Pass since I thought that I would need a really good taser that could kill someone if they were crazy enough, and for reasons that even Merch had to ask me about: an Unmaker from Doom.

"Uh, not to judge your choice in weaponry, but why the Unmaker? Pretty sure that the angels aren't from hell, so this thing would be pretty useless against them."

I pretty much reveal my plans for it when I ask him "Know anyone who can modify this thing so it can take anything with an AT Field down in one shot?"

He replies to me by saying "I think I may know a guy. In fact, he and his assistant are here at the council headquarters doing some business right now, and they're meeting me here in a couple of minutes."

And of course, they guys he was talking about were the very same Rick and Morty that I talked to on the way to the space port. What a surprise. **(And yes, they are the Rick and Morty of Earth dimension C-147, so this whole exchange takes place before the end of season 2)**

"Merch, my glipglop, what's hanging?"

"Rick, my man. Have you met the newest level 10 Warper yet?"

Rick looks at me remembering who I was before going "Eh, kinda fits what I thought he would look like. Hey kid, pro tip: never clean out vials you use to store DNA with your spit. Learned that one the hard way."

Of course I knew that he was talking about the one time he and Morty crashed into 742 Evergreen Terrace and accidentally turned the Simpsons into piles of goo before having Morty go clone 'em so no one in town would notice (stupid Flanders did, but he got hit with a freeze ray and broke apart) while Rick stole everything of value from the house and helped himself to some of Homer's Duff. Because of them, I'm pretty sure that the show wasn't gonna allow any more guest animators for a very long time.

"So uh, y-ya' got that that (belch) stuff I asked for o-or (belch) what?"

Merch then pulls out a bottle before saying "Got it right here. Romulan ale, some of the best booze in the multiverse."

"Aw yeah, baby. This stuff ought to make for a (belch) good weekend bender. Morty Morty, the the thing. The thing, Morty."

"Aw geez, grandpa Rick. Y-you think that those Mega Seeds w-would be worth more than just another bottle of booze for you to get drunk with all weekend, you know? Considering that I was the one who had to risk his life to get 'em...again."

Merch then pulls something out of nowhere that looks like a manga and throws it to Morty.

"Here kid, a little something for your troubles."

I manage to get a closer look at it to see that it a freaking RWBY doujin involving Coco, Velvet, Blake and Yang. Morty grabs the doujin and trades off the Mega Seeds for the Romulan ale.

"Pleasure doing business with you guys. Hey, while you're here, my new client her could use a little help with something. Mind lending a hand?"

Rick looks at me again before going "Alright, what do you want?"

I take out the Unmaker from the pile before showing it to the dimension hopping drunk scientist before asking "Think you can modify this thing to pierce AT Fields and destroy an angel's core in one shot?"

Rick thinks about it for a short while before responding "Yeah, but to get the stuff I need to do it is gonna take time and money."

It was right there and then that I had thought of something regarding one of the stops I had to make later today.

"Back before I got sent to the EVA universe I wound up in, I sent in a good portion of fetch jobs to CherieRoseLoveless' show "Talk Time". You do this for me, and I can get you some original Robot Master blueprints. We got a deal?"

"Mmmmmeeeeeeah, alright, you got a deal. I can probably come up with something in like, a month or two."

I smile and say "That should be plenty of time."

I hand the gun off to Rick as he and Morty walk off the ship with their bounties in hand before I face Merch.

"Alright, how much do I owe you for all of **this?**

To my surprise, he responds by saying "Ya' know something, kid? I'm beginning to like the cut of your jib. And besides, I have orders from the council that say that this time's on the house, just remember that if you want anything else from me, it's gonna cost you. But on the plus side, should one of our transactions ever result in a trade of sorts, I'd be more than willing to give you 10% of the earnings as a "broker's fee".

Guess I couldn't complain about getting free stuff and the chance to make more money if I ever needed it, so I thank ol' Merch and use the portal gun to be off on my merry way with just one more stop I needed to make before I could return home to Tokyo 3.

 **The world of One Piece: where pirates roam the seas in search of the legendary treasure left by the late king of the pirates while trying to avoid a corrupt World Government. Lucky for me, where I was going, the government wasn't going to give me any guff.** Back on Earth Prime, I knew from reading materials related to Warpers, if you wanted something obtained or dares done by pirates, there was one woman you had to go to: a woman by the name of CherieRoseLoveless, one of the few non-Blackthorn level 10 Warpers out there and apparently according to statements from other Warpers, a well known sexual deviant. I step out of the portal I made with the gun into the inside of her gigantic castle's main corridor, thinking that this was gonna be a simple in and out kind of deal...it wasn't. Next thing I know, I have about 10 of Boa Hancock's elite warrior women pointing blades at me with the intent to kill.

"State your business here or face your doom."

I had to think fast or I was a goner for sure, so I did the best that I could to collect myself and respond in the most straight forward way possible.

"Look, my beef isn't with you guys, or anyone in this world for that matter. I'm just here to talk to Mrs. Loveless and get some things that I asked the Straw Hats to hunt down for me on her show. Nothing more, nothing less."

Needless to say, they weren't buying it, considering that a blue haired one shoved their sword closer to my throat and bluntly said "Yeah, right. We aren't buying that until you can identify yourself."

"I guess news among Warpers doesn't spread as fast as I thought it did. Why don't you go check the dimensional news feeds, they can tell you just who the hell I am."

Hopefully that would buy me the opportunity that I needed to settle this without violence, but I still ran the risk that my updated level status wasn't fully registered yet with the order. One of them with black hair that I had to assume was the leader of this group ordered a blonde member to go check the dimensional news networks regarding information about anyone who looked like me while the rest still had their blades aimed straight at my neck. I had to try and cool down the situation, so I playfully ask "Aren't Amazons supposed to practice peaceful politics instead of the violent methods of man?"

All I get out of it is a red headed one getting snippy with me as she replies "That's only the ones from the DC multiverses, you chud."

The stand off goes down for about another minute before a voice yells out "What the hell is going on down there? My child is trying to sleep."

Down the stairs comes Mrs. Loveless herself wearing nothing more than a red mini kimono with a loosely tied sash to reveal a fair amount of cleavage.

"Mrs. Loveless, I presume?"

"You presume correctly. And am I to assume that you're the new hot topic among Warpers, "Mr. Bishops"?"

Loveless then calls off the guards before she and I can get to talking.

"Well, if you know who I am, then you probably know why I'm here."

"Let me guess, you want a go with some of my girls, don't you? I think that can be arranged."

I have to step in before things get anymore pervy as I state "Not that, at least not right now. What I'm here for is to collect some of the stuff that I had the Straw Hats go out and get for me in exchange for bounties on your show."

"Ah, a fan of the show. What do you want to claim, you posted bounties on a lot of stuff."

I have to mull over my options for a second before I come to the decisions of what I both wanted and needed to get from her.

"I'm gonna need the dimensional scissors, the DNA samples, the Robot Master and the Ra Calum blueprints."

"That all?"

"Yes, that'll be it for now, and I'll be picking up the stuff I request from your associates personally from this point on if that will be alright with you."

"But of course. Now then, your stuff is in the treasury. Follow me if you want to claim it."

The scantly clad Warper leads me to her main treasure room, which could only be described as Scrooge McDuck's coin vault on Steroids, PEDs and Crank. We stop at an area labeled "Reserved For DSX62415's Crap" before she opens the vault door for me. I had to say, I was rather impressed how well organized it was for being apart of the treasure room, and my surprise was further increased when she went as far as to make a special wing of the area just for the stuff I had requested on her show. Hell, it was even temperature controlled to make sure that the DNA samples were kept as fresh as possible.

"Here you go, take whatever you want or need for...whatever the hell it is that you're planning on doing with this stuff."

I grab the stuff that I needed before walking out of the room as she closes the door.

"Thank you for letting me get this stuff, it'll make my plans for the EVA universe I'm inhabiting go a whole lot easier."

"No problem, but I gotta ask: you're level 10 now, why do you still need the dimensional scissors?"

I playfully answer her question by asking one of my own: "Were you able to open and close dimensional gateways to places on your own when you first got your powers?"

Which she replies by stating "Good point."

I didn't even have the heart to tell her that I had gotten a portal gun from Merch and used it to get here in the first place, but in reality, I still needed those scissors in case the gun ran out of power and I was stuck in a place where I couldn't charge it back up. As soon as we were back in the corridor this whole sequence started in, I was ready to leave and get my crap together before meeting with this retired Time Patrol member so I could begin my training. I quickly put those dimensional scissors to good use by cutting open a dimensional gateway to my Tokyo 3.

"Thanks again for the stuff. If I need anything else from you or the Straw Hats, I'll be in touch."

I was about to step through the portal I had made before Cherie had stopped my by saying "Just one more thing before you go."

I reply by bluntly asking "Is it about wanting me to plow someone for your perverted desires?"

Which she playfully responds by saying "My, aren't we the cheeky one? No no, what I want is that if you one of the Blackthorn children ever pop into your universe, tell 'em Cherie says "hello"."

"I think I can do that."

I step into the portal, leaving the world of superpowered pirates behind for now as it became time for me to return to my version of Tokyo 3. I did hope that the maids were able to get here safely in my absence, having told them to board the VTOL that would be coming for them earlier that day while loading some of the stuff from the Vegas penthouse on board so we wouldn't have to make more trips back there then we needed to while I had to tie up some loose ends in town before getting on my own flight later that day. I had popped up beside the VTOL that was supposed to take them here, making it look like I had came out of the open hatch. Quickly switching out the scissors for my phone, I decide to call Wynn and waited for her to pick up.

"H-hello?"

It was her alright, I respond by going "So, how'd the trip go? Did you girls manage to get to the penthouse that was set aside for us alright?"

I hear her say that everything went down relatively smoothly, and that her and her roommates had begun the process of moving things into the penthouse, but they were awaiting my arrival so I could figure out where certain things would go.

I respond to hearing that by saying "Okay, hold tight. I'm on my way there now with a few things that I had to pick up before I could come here. I can be there within the next hour or so, but I'm gonna need you to send a limo for me."

She tells me that she can make it happen and that it'll be about a half hour before it can arrive at the airport that I was at.

"Good enough, I'll see you three there in due time. Goodbye."

I end the call as I wait for the guy to show up, deciding to crack open one of the books that Merch had given me: "Beginner's Energy Manipulation for Dummies". Now, I wasn't too big of a reader save for fanfics back on Earth Prime, but I did get into what I was reading pretty quickly, knowing that I was going to need every little bit of info I could get for when I started training on the subject. About 30 minutes later, and the limo finally shows up as I begin to load up my valuables in the back before getting in myself. The drive only took about another 15 minutes before I find myself in front of the Tokyo 3 Mirage hotel, considered to be the best in the city with a five star rating. The receptionists were quick to let me in as one of the bellhops wheels the boxes of stuff I had gotten from Merch and Mrs. Loveless carefully to my room while I take the elevator up to the top floor. This place was just as extravagant as the one I woke up in after the transfer, if not better: 70" UHD television, two full spa bathrooms, three large bedrooms, indoor theater, heated swimming pool on the balcony, this place had the works and then some. The bellhop had arrived shortly before I did and started placing the stuff into the room as gently as possible, and thank god he did because who the hell knows what would happen if some of that stuff was handled too roughly. I decide to check out the new digs for a bit before some of the more major stuff set up, pick out my personal bedroom, set aside some of the things that I would rather hide from the maids until the time was right, stuff like that...well, that was until I heard light noises coming from one of the bedrooms. I slowly make my way to the room where the noises originated to find that the door was only opened by a slight crack before sneaking a peek at what was causing it. What I found was Wynn nestled in between dimensional counterparts of "Eria the Water Charmer" and "Lyna the Light Charmer/Mila the Temporal Maiden" under the bed sheets taking a nap. Now, I didn't need to be a reality altering super being to know just what was going on here: that in this universe, one of my favorite fanon LGBT Yu-Gi-Oh TCG polyships was legit, and it was happening right under my roof. **(Don't judge me, people on the internet can thing of far more perverted stuff than this)** Oh lordy, were the Yu-Gi-Oh "Charmer" fanboys gonna be jealous of me if they ever found out about this. I didn't want to disturb them, so I just went back to unpacking the good stuff, replacing the normal cable box for the dimensional one before plopping down on the couch and trying to find a channel that aired the early seasons of Ball Fondlers so I could catch up with the new stuff. Once I had felt that I had done enough unloading of things for the day, I chose to get ready for bed, knowing that I would have to be on the look out for when that Time Patrol veteran I'm supposed to be trained by appears. Well, it seems that even just **thinking** about plot context was big enough to trigger a phone call as I pick up my cell phone to see who it is.

"Yes?"

"Well, you were easier to track down than I expected, Mr. Bishops."

"Who is this?"

"Why don't you check right next to you?"

I look to my side to see that Mura not only let herself in, but was sitting down on the armchair beside the room's southeast corner, which causes me to jump back a bit in shock while she just ends her phone call.

"How'd you get in here unseen when this whole building is swarming with people, let alone the whole city?"

She gets out of the chair before she responds by saying "Instant Transmission and Ki masking, nifty little tools to have if you plan on laying low here like I am. You the new Warper the order asked me to train?"

I manage to regain my composure before saying "That depends, you the Majin Mura Tenin from the Time Patrol?"

"Formerly of the Time Patrol, I just recently retired."

I'd probably have to ask about stuff like that sometime in the future, but now wasn't the time for that. Now was the time to address just what in the name of all that is holy is going on right now.

"Right. So I'm guessing you're here to tell me that my training begins soon, right?"

She responds by stating "We can begin tomorrow at the earliest, but until then, I need to know just what I'm dealing with here."

She then pulls out a violet lenses Scouter from her pockets and places it on her right ear before activating it so she could read my current power level, to which she was surprised.

"Hmmmmmm...strange. Says here that you currently have a power level of about 5100, something not seen very often, even with Warpers who've just begun to learn about their powers."

I try to help figure out why it would be that high until I realize something before I respond to her stating "It might be because of the amount of Spiral Energy that I got when the dimensional bolt from Jiha Village hit me. Either it's that or something that even I don't know about yet, something like that."

She mulls over the situation too before she snaps out of it and says "Don't worry about it for right now. For the time being, I suggest that you get some rest and maybe try meditation to help get your Ki under control, because starting tomorrow, you and I are gonna be working very hard to help you control your new powers, Ki based or otherwise."

Not knowing just what I was in for, I can only reply "See you tomorrow then."

She nods and uses Instant Transmission again to leave the room without being seen, leaving me to crack open "Beginner's Energy Manipulation for Dummies" again to find the chapters regarding how meditation and energy control mix. After reading about it for a short while, I decide that it would be worth a shot to at least try it in case I needed to know how it works during my training. Little did I know that when the morning came, I would be in for the roughest work out of my entire life.

 **(Well, there you have it. Next chapter, my training begins and I interact with at least one NERV employee for the first time. Until then, thank you for reading, don't forget to favorite, review and follow, and until next time, DSX62415, out.)**


	3. This Is (not) As Easy As Cross-Fit

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **03: This Is (not) As Easy as Cross Fit**

 **(Warning: all properties belong to their respective copyright holders/ creators. Eva to Anno, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea)**

 **Morning had come at last** as the scent of french toast, scrambled eggs, and apple wood smoked bacon filled the air, waking me from my meditation induced sleep. Which of course makes walk into the kitchen to see that Wynn, the "Eria" look alike, and the "Lyna/Mila" look alike were cooking up a storm. And thank god that they were, cause I was feeling pretty hungry right then and there (which I can't entirely blame on the Saiyan DNA, we humans have needs too). The three were somewhat in shock as I pretty much began to wolf down everything that they set out for me. Of course seeing this causes "Lyna/Mila" to pipe up about it, and I commend her for it.

"Wow, I've never seen anyone eat so much so fast before. Where does it all go?"

Hearing that makes me look up from my meal and say to her "Honestly, sometimes I don't know where it goes myself, and consider it a statement that I truly appreciate your cooking, girls. Seriously, this stuff is really well done, like, top rated diner quality stuff right here. Give yourselves a pat on the back for this stuff."

They were nothing short of awestruck as I had managed to finish like, 6 plates worth of everything by the time I was done, slumping back into my chair in satisfaction.

"S-sir, w-w-would you like y-your schedule for the day?"

I look up at Wynn with a face telling her that I was at least trying to be a nice who knew what he was doing as I replied "No need, I got all the details in my mind. First thing I have to do today is attend a meeting with an official to oversee the defenses that the JDSF will be using before the EVAs can be deployed, and I have another meeting afterwards with the head Major of field operations, Misato Katsuragi to discuss my involvements with NERV during our stay here."

The "Eria" look alike (I really got to learn their names at some point) chimed in about the matter by asking "Do you know exactly where you're supposed to meet 'em?"

To which I respond "I have the coordinates written down on a slip of paper, I'll just have the limo driver program them into the GPS before we leave for each stop."

They clear my stuff before getting things together for what they planned on eating this morning as I got up out of the chair to get ready for the day's events.

"Alright ladies, I gotta get ready to go out. Do you guys think you can take care of things around here while I'm away?"

The three of 'em simply nod yes before I step into the master bathroom to freshen up for the day. Of course I had to sneak a red sleeveless tee shirt and black sweatpants under the tan three piece suit I was wearing, and I had to hide a pair of black and grey slip on sneakers (I don't have time for laces, people) inside my suitcase. But once I took care of all of that, I was ready for meet with Mura for my first training session. The three maids see me off as I get in the limo and have the driver take me to the location where I was to inspect the JDSF defenses first before we drove off into the hustle and bustle of the big city. I knew that the drive to our first destination would take at least 30-45 minutes, which gave me some more time to read up on the basics of Warper energy manipulation, thanks again to "Beginner's Energy Manipulation for Dummies" (sure, I could have started working on stuff like Chakra control, but I wanted to deal with the most common form of energy used by Warpers, Ki first). The defenses that the JDSF had in place were pretty impressive...IF they were just trying to stop a normal army from taking the city, but it was nowhere near ready to fight an angel. 30 VTOLs, heavy artillery mounted all over the hillsides, and a freaking N2 rocket ready for launch should the need arise for it, these guys were ready for war. A losing war, but still. I try and think up of ways that I could probably get stuff off Merch to help build up the city's anti-angel defenses so they'd at least have some effect on the angel before the EVAs could step in and serve as a distraction while I shoot 'em down with my custom Unmaker once Rick was done with it, that is until the defense commander for the city approaches me.

"I take it that you don't think it will be enough to handle protecting the city, do you, sir?"

I turn my head in his direction before replying "Frankly, not for what I feel we'll have to face in the coming months. However, I think I do know a few people who can help bring this place up to my standards for what I expect."

The guy just looks at me funny before saying "Dare I ask who they are, sir? We already have the top military contractors in the world working on defending the city, how can we do better than this?"

"Let's just say that I know some of the hottest young minds in the field of national defense, and they're just itching to have their efforts be used by a major world power. Just leave all of that to me, and I'm sure they can make these fortifications a true force to be reckoned with."

He then salutes me before responding "Right, sir. I probably shouldn't doubt you, considering that you are the US representative of these operations."

"At ease, soldier."

Well, that was easier then expected, but now the hard part of my day was about to begin. My meeting with Major Katsuragi wasn't gonna be until late in the afternoon at the very earliest, depending on how drunk she was last night, which meant that I could skip to the start of my Warper training with Mura for the time being. I have the driver take me to the center of town where she and I had agreed to meet during the ride to the JDSF installation via phone call before I find her sitting in front of a fountain using they physical human disguise she said she would be using.

"Glad you finally showed up, I've been waiting here for about an hour."

"I couldn't help it, the meeting with the JDSF ran longer than I expected with the inclusion of the trip to the destination. Anyways, I'm here now, so where are we gonna go and train? I highly doubt doing it here would be easy since we would most likely draw attention to ourselves from civilians."

"You bring that portal gun that I asked you to?"

I nodded yes, but I didn't wanna show it to her since we were still in a heavily populated area before she replies "Good. Follow me, and we can get started."

We head into an empty alley way before she gestures me to hand over my portal gun, which I do before she locks in a destination and fires it off to create a portal that we go through. Were we end up could only be described as desert, and nothing but desert for miles with massive craters blasted into the ground all around.

"I get not wanting to harm civilians, but what's with this place? Is this some sort of Warper training ground or something?"

She responds to me "Nope, there aren't that many Warpers who train here without specifically having access to Spiral Energy like you do, which is why we're here."

That's when it hit me: we were in a version of Gurren Lagann so I could learn how to mix Ki and Spiral Energy together to further boost my powers...or something like that. There was one thing bugging me about this though.

"Wait, shouldn't we be worried about striking some underground village by mistake?"

"Nah, according to the coordinates that I put in, we should be here during the seven year time skip between the end of the Beastmen war and the start of the fight against the Anti-Spirals, so most humans should be relocating to the surface under Simon and Nia's leadership."

You know I had to ask to make sure my theory on why we were here was right, so I go "So, we're here so you can help me learn how to really use Spiral Energy to boost my powers?"

Which she replies by saying "In a way, yes. However, I don't know much about Spiral Energy, so we're gonna have to go find someone who knows how to use it to help with your training. And I think I know just where to go to find them."

I try to think of who we could go to in this universe who would have any idea on how to use Spiral Energy outside of a Gunmen during this point in the series. Lord Genome wouldn't be an option considering that Simon and Nia finished him off, pretty sure that Viral wouldn't be willing to help out a human, or at least third human during this time period, Kamina was long dead, Yoko would probably be more into the science aspect of it than its use in martial arts, so that only left Simon and Nia, but I doubt that either of them were any good at using it during this point in time either. Mura winds up guiding me into the center of a crater before facing me and saying "This looks like a good spot for you to learn about energy signature location."

"Energy signature location?"

Mura then explains the concept to me as she goes "Energy signature location is the ability to keep track of either one person or multiple people through their Ki, Chakra, Haki, in your case Spiral Energy, and other forms of energy used by powerful warriors. This is a mental skill that all Warpers should know, and can be easily learned through prolonged periods of mediation over an undetermined amount of time based on the adaptability of the person in general."

Yeah, I wasn't getting any of this, like, at all.

"I'm sorry, could I get that in English please?"

Mura just looks at me with a snide look before responding to me "Bottom line: if you can figure out how to do things easily with less time than other people would, you can learn how to do this a whole lot faster so we can get down to the good stuff."

"That actually makes more sense. Alright, let's get cracking."

She then instructs me to sit down in lotus position and close my eyes, emptying every thought that didn't need to be there so I could focus only on what truly mattered at that moment: finding a strong human Spiral Energy signature. It wasn't much good though, as I had only found a few weaker energy signatures from a nearby underground village that was in the midst of moving to the surface. I knew that she wasn't gonna let me give up without a fight, so I decide to keep trying until I manage to find something of interest.

"Call me a liar if you want, but I think I just picked up a few pretty strong energy signatures from within a nearby city, and they seem organic rather then mechanical."

"Good. Follow the signatures, and we just might be able to find my Spiral Energy teacher's aids today."

She then takes off into the air before realizing a little something that's kinda important: me not being able to fly yet.

"Oh right, I haven't taught you how to fly yet, haven't I? Oh well, not time like the present I suppose. And besides, I think those signatures you picked up can wait a little bit."

She lands right in front of me before going "Now, the key to using your Ki to fly is pretty simple: all you really have to do is focus your energy on levitating your body off of the ground. From there, flying's a cinch. Now then, I want you to do what you did when you found those Spiral Energy signatures, but this time I want you to focus on lifting your body off of the ground without using any physical effort."

Well, I was able to do what she wanted me to do the first time, so this was worth a shot. I get back into lotus position before closing my eyes and focus on getting my body off of the ground without actually physically moving it. It takes me a while to figure things out, but after about 20 minutes or so, I can't even feel the ground I was sitting on anymore. That's when I opened my eyes to see that I wasn't even sitting on the ground at all anymore, I was floating in the air by a few inches.

"Not a bad start, but you'll still have to keep focusing if you really want to fly like me."

I pretty much took that as a challenge because a few more minutes of focus, and I was doing something that we've all dreamed of doing during at least one point in all our lives (don't deny it, you wanted to do this too at some point): flying around in the sky like a crazed lunatic, and it. Was. Awesome...that is until I lost focus and faceplanted into a nearby lake (this was my first time flying, people. Don't judge me). Luckily, I was able to swim out before I look up to see Mura with a somewhat concerned look on her face.

"Okay, I guess that was a pretty good first try. But just so we can make sure you got this, let's focus on being able to jump extreme distances using your Ki first. Ever see that one episode of Samurai Jack where he trains with monkey Gs so he can learn how to "jump good"?"

I had to think about it since it had been a while since I had seen an episode of Samurai Jack, and I was struck with dimensional lighting before season 5 premiered before I finally remembered the gist of that particular episode, thanks to a RebelTaxi video of all things.

"I vaguely remember that particular episode."

"Good, because that's basically what you're gonna learn how to do."

She then points to a far off hill before saying "See that hill?"

I nod yes before she continues by going "I want you to focus your energy into leaping from here to the top of that hill. Just remember not to either overshoot it or not channel enough, or you're gonna probably be faceplanting a lot. Got it?"

I get what she's going for as I try to focus on landing straight on top of the far off hill, which I manage to do...after about 30-40 tries of either overshooting it, or just landing on my face mere inches from the actual hill itself.

"Not bad for a rookie. A little more practice with Ki jumping, and I think you'll be ready to try flying again."

"Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna be doing any more flying for a little while. For right now, I'll just stick with the long jumping."

Mura playfully replies to my remark by going "Oh, don't be like that. Now come on, let's go find those energy signatures you sensed."

"Alright, but we'll need to head back to town soon, I still have a meeting with one of the main NERV officials later today."

Mura then responds to this by saying "Alright, alright. We'll introduce ourselves to 'em and ask 'em to help train you, then we can go back to town so you can deal with your NERV stuff. Deal?"

"Deal."

She flies at a slower pace in order to let me keep up with her while I practice my Ki jumping until we reach the area that I had sensed the Spiral Energy signatures: a budding version of Kamina City, not as big as it would become after the time skip, but still pretty big in its current state. Even though most of the humans that had came up from underground and a good portion of the resistance fighters were currently hard at work building up the city into the massive structure it would eventually become, but there were still people out and about, enjoying their newfound freedom from the Beastmen and Lord Genome. The female Majin and I look around and take in the sights that were being offered before she turns to me and goes "Okay, we're in the city, now all we have to do is find whoever those energy signatures you found belong to. Think you can concentrate on finding 'em in this dense crowd?"

I close my eyes and try to concentrate on just where we could find who we're looking for until I manage to find 'em, pointing towards the large tower in the center of the city.

"There, in that tower, that's where we'll find 'em."

To avoid any more unusual glances from people then needed, we decided to walk to the center of town, where the massive Parliament tower resided before stepping into the giant structure. Well, I could easily say that where we were gonna find my Spiral Energy teachers was nothing short of insanely advanced technology wise, considering that the main lobby you step into upon entry was lined with holographic projections and moving screens you could walk through. Things were going pretty smoothly if I said so myself...at least until we reached the receptionist's desk.

"I'm sorry, but you can't go beyond this point without having an appointment first."

 **Dammit, bureaucracy: my old arch-nemesis rears its ugly head to foil my day once again.** We had to think fast, knowing that we just couldn't barge in and cause a scene to a bunch of level 3 Warpers who didn't even know they were fictional yet since it would only cause more problems then it would solve. Well, when all else fails, you just have to play along...at least for now.

"Which is exactly why we're here, we need to make an appointment with a few people about some real confidential stuff. So if you could just let us through, we can make the formal arrangements with them personally."

I wasn't expecting the receptionist to buy it, and they didn't.

"Nice try, but to make an appointment, you got to go through the process first. Now, who exactly are you trying to reach out to?"

Of course we just had to hit another roadblock by not knowing who exactly we had in mind, which meant that we were pretty much caught in a dead end...at least that's what I thought until **they** came down to the lobby from a nearby elevator. I couldn't believe what I was seeing: 15 year old versions of Simon and Nia walking out of the elevator, but that wasn't all: I could sense it, **they** were the Spiral Energy signatures that I had picked up earlier.

"Hey. Uh, could you take care of things while Nia and I are out? She wants to grab some ingredients for dinner tonight, and I said that I'd go with her."

"Right away, sir, after I deal with these two."

The Spiral princess and the digger who pierced the heavens looked at me and Mura before Nia goes "I'm guessing you two are new to town, right? Is there anything we can do to help?"

There it was: the golden opportunity that we needed.

"Actually, yes. I need to make an appointment with you two along with the other members of Team Dai-Gurren about an important subject, and we were hoping we could get in at your earliest time tomorrow, but we could meet with you the day after if that would be acceptable."

To which Simon replies "I don't think tomorrow would work out for the whole team, but we can meet with you the day after if that's alright with you."

I was more than happy to take what I could get as I replied "That would be just fine. Thank you."

With our mission of the day accomplished, Mura and I step out of Parliament tower, discussing our next move.

"Alright, we got 'em to meet with you in two days, hopefully we can get 'em to help train you, but in the meantime, you and I are gonna go over some Ki basics, with a little bit of sparring between you and me for good measure."

Not even knowing what I was in for, I reply "I can work with that, considering that I'm gonna need as much training as I can get for what I have planned."

"Good. Now then, I believe you have a meeting to get to. What say you we reconvene once it's done for a little bit of sparing to end the day?"

"Sure, why not? We better hurry though, I'm gonna have to be there pretty soon."

Mura shoots off the portal gun again and gets us back to Tokyo 3 safely. However, she wasn't quite ready to let me have it back yet.

"I'll just hold on to this for a little bit. You can have it back when today's training is over."

"Riiiiiiight." (yeah, I didn't really trust her that much at the moment after saying that.)

Be that as it may, I didn't have time to argue, as I just met back up with the limo driver and got back on the road in order to meet with Misato. I wasn't too surprised that she chose to meet with me somewhere business casual like the cafe/bistro that the limo driver stopped at to drop me off, but hey, at least it wasn't a biker bar. I manage to find the violet haired Misato who was gesturing me to come over to where she was sitting, which I do.

"Major Katsuragi, I presume?"

I get responded to with her going "The one and only. So, you're the new overseer that the UN sent to keep tabs on us? I gotta say, I'm a little flattered that they would pay that much attention to our little old organization."

I chose to play my role to the calmest of my abilities and go "Well, with something as important as "Project E" being handled mostly by your particular branch of NERV, we had to at least have somebody make sure that things were going as smoothly as possible, and make sure that Commander Ikari doesn't get full of himself, thinking that he can do whatever the hell he wants with **our money** and **our machines.** Now, I don't think I'm stepping on anyone's toes when I say that your commander isn't to well liked among the majority of the UN council members, if not outright hated."

"Yeah, between you and me, he can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but you probably would be too if you were in charge of humanity's last line of defense against possible world ending threats."

The waiter then comes and takes our orders, I chose to try out their Porterhouse Steak cooked well done with a cola to wash it down while Misato orders the pasta al dente...with a **Bloody Mary** as her choice of drink.

I had to ask her "Uh, don't you still have to drive places? I know it's 5:00 somewhere, but you know."

The response I got: "Relax, I took a cab here since my car is in the shop for inspection. I'll be fine just as long as I don't drink too much."

I suppose it could have been worse, she could have ordered a pitcher of beer and drank it all in one go. Our food and drink come shortly afterwards, and I manage to get through my 16 ounce steak rather quickly, much to Misato's surprise.

"Yeesh, did you even taste it?"

To which I reply "Yes I did, and personally, I think they did a pretty good job with searing it just right. You can tell that it was well done, just like I had ordered it."

The rest of lunch goes rather smoothly as we discuss my involvement with the Evangelions, and how NERV wanted me to have an organization appointed secretary to help keep me up to date on NERV affairs (more so because Gendo probably wanted to keep tabs on me). Once everything was all settled for the day, I rejoin Mura to get in a little more training, who I manage to find easily thanks to having learned Ki sensing with her.

"So, how'd it go?"

I'm actually kinda surprised that she would take interest in my affairs with the organization that I was planning on bringing to its knees, but being the person that my parents raised me to be, I respond to her question by going "I think it went pretty okay. Misato didn't pry too much into my personal life, and we mainly just talked about what I was going to be doing with the organization, and how they wanted me to have a personal secretary. Though I'm pretty sure the whole secretary thing is just a ploy so Gendo can keep tabs on me. Wouldn't blame him though."

"Well I hoped you enjoyed your little breather, because now we start training real hard."

She then fires off the portal gun to bring us back to the Gurren Lagann world, except this time, we were far away from Kamina City.

"Mastering Ki isn't just a mental game, there's also a physical aspect to it. But I probably bet you knew that already, having came from Earth Prime."

She wasn't wrong, you know. Having access to stuff like Wikis and episodes of Death Battle kinda gave me all the base knowledge of the subject that I had before hitting the books on how to actually do it. Then it only took another three seconds to figure out that I was in for a major ass kicking.

"But to make things a little easier for you since this is your first day of official Warper training, I'll make you a deal: you manage to land even a single blow on me, just one, then we're done for the day. However, it seems only fair to warn you that my max power level happens to be **3,000,000** , so I doubt that it's gonna end that quickly."

Jeezum freaking crow, **three million?!** Now I know that I'm in for the mother of all ass kickings. Well, no use in resisting since there was most likely no way that she was gonna let me out of it without a fight, so I get into a defensive stance before she charges at me with a series of swift strikes that send me flat on my ass.

"That's it? Come on, I expect a lot more from a level 10, considering that you people can become more or less gods among Warpers. Get back up and let's do this again. And remember, you manage to land a single blow on me, then we can call it quits for the day."

What can only ensue is a montage of me getting the crap beaten out of me, getting back up, and getting my ass handed to me again. A cycle which goes on for a full **two hours before I finally land a hit on her with a lucky blow to the stomach.** I wind up lying on my back with my whole body aching from all of the repeated ass whoopings as Mura looks down at me in surprise.

"Wow, it took that long for you to land a blow on me, huh? I gotta admit that you did manage to still do it earlier than I expected. I was either expecting you to collapse from exhaustion, or us being at this all night, but this works too."

She then pulls something out of one of her pockets before dropping it onto my chest and saying "You might wanna eat that, it'll patch you up fully as if you never got your ass handed to you in the first place."

Hearing her say that almost instantly made me realize that she just gave me a ticket to instant recovery: a Senzu Bean, which I use what strength that I had left to grab the damn thing and place it into my mouth before chewing it up and sending it down my gullet. She was right when she said it would patch me up as I almost instantly feel like I never took a punch to the face repeatedly, or gut, or boy bags before getting back on my feet with my full power restored, only to see that Mura had her scouter out again while checking me out with it.

"Uh, I thought that we went over my power level when we first met."

To which she responds by going "I know, but I just wanted to check something."

The violet lenses device beeped before the female Majin spoke up and said "Just as I suspected, the amount of Saiyan DNA you obtained when you were struck with dimensional lightning gave you an ability known as the Zenkai Boost. I assume that you know what that particular skill does to you, right?"

Of course I knew what the basics of it were, but not wanting to sound stupid in front of someone who just beat the living crap out of me, I reply "If I'm not mistaken, the basic point would be that when a Saiyan is injured in battle and is able to fully recover, their power level is allowed to increase exponentially, eventually allowing them to gain the upper hand in battle with enough training."

Which she responds to me by saying "That's pretty much the gist of it, and judging from the readings that I just got, it seems that you having access to Spiral Energy is affecting the efficiency of your Zenkai Boost ability by increasing the amount your power level would normally increase."

Being curious about my current stats, I chose to ask "So, what power level am I at now?"

The Majin replies "About 76-7700. Give or take."

Hearing that my power level had spiked that much in only one day's worth of training and having my ass handed to me by someone who was obviously holding back as to not kill me was actually kinda surprising. But the ass kicking still hurt like hell though.

"Well, a deals a deal, I guess we're done training for the day. However, just because we're done with training your body doesn't mean that you can't train your mind. So I want you to read chapters 1 through 13 of "Beginner's Energy Manipulation for Dummies", because we'll be going over all of that when we start training again tomorrow. Got it?"

Getting ready to call it a day before hitting the books, I just reply "Crystal.".

I'm waiting for her to give me my portal gun when she decides to add one more extra bit of punishment for the day by stopping me and saying "Before we head back, I've got one more thing that I want you to do."

Oh great, what could it be now? Well, my mental question was almost instantly answered when the female Majin threw down what looked like a set of ankle/wristbands at my feet. And they looked like they were packing some weight.

"Those are training weights, I want you to wear them at all time...except maybe in the shower, that might get a bit weird and rank at the same time. Since your body is not only matured and enhanced by Saiyan DNA, but Spiral DNA as well, I thought I would start you off with 20 pounds on each arm and leg, so 80 pounds of extra weight in total. Whenever you're able to move around just as well as you would without 'em, I'm gonna add more weight in order to increase your training outside of our little sessions. Got it?'

I'm just left to reply "Like I have a choice?" before putting on each of the weights in their respective areas.

"Good. Now remember to read those chapters, because tomorrow, we're gonna work on you being able to shoot Ki blasts like it's nobody's business."

Well, at least something was gonna come out of the mass amount of reading that I had to do come tomorrow. And at least I've already got a head start being on chapter 3 already. Mura reopens the portal back to Tokyo 3 before finally giving me back my portal gun and flying off to where ever it is she goes when she isn't kicking my ass. Home sweet home at last as I plop down on the couch for some dimensional cable before I hit the books. Things were pretty quite as I decide to flip through the channels before the "Eria" look alike comes up to me and goes "Sir, this package came for you this afternoon, but I think it's some sort of prank. There's no way that the return address is real, because I've never heard of a "Toki Toki Town", have you?"

"I can't say that I have, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to at least take a peek at what's inside. Thanks for bringing me this to me, miss..."

"Eria, sir. Eria Aoi, at your service."

"Right, right, sorry. I kinda have trouble with certain names unless I deal with that person on a daily basis, like you, Wynn, and that one with the silver hair. Who is she again?"

"Lyna Hikari, sir."

"Ah, yes. Thank you."

"You know that it's okay if you can't remember our names all of the time, since you were willing to give me and Lyna jobs with Wynn, we don't really think it's something to complain about."

So I **was** right, they **are** duplicates of the "Charmer" monsters from the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG that they so easily resemble. Now I know that the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG fanboys who ship "Charmers" to one another are gonna have a field day if they ever saw this. I dismiss Eria before opening the package to reveal...news reports? And a note? I read through the note, which was sent to me by one Ryoshiro Nazo, who was pretty much telling me to both not trust the council in full, and to watch out for someone by the name of Josho Blackthorn, who apparently rose to both fame and infamy by killing off all the villains from the version of Wander Over Yonder, save for Lord Hater and Lady Dominator. Well, pretty much knew this was coming to me eventually, I just didn't expect it to happen **this early.** I already had my notions not to trust the council, considering that they were all two out of the three kinds of people that I often never tend to trust: bureaucrats, and politicians. And if you're wondering what the third kind of person is, it's doctors with the exception of maybe Moltar. This Ryoshiro guy had me intrigued, so I decide to use that new computer that I got which had access to multi-dimensional internet to find out a little bit more about this guy. Turns out he's part of some group called the Time Patrol, who are supposedly in charge of fixing errors in continuity within the Dragon Ball animes (and yes, that includes GT.). And apparently he's one of their top new recruits, with an average A rating in terms of mission completion, and a current base power level of about 91,000. Damn, that's pretty impressive. If I ever get the chance to meet up with him, I'm gonna have to thank him for the warning about this Josho guy, and maybe hit him up for some training advice. I know that I've got a lot to think about with this whole "Warper game" right now, but for the time being, I just wanna see TV from different dimensions. Flipping through the channels, what do I find? A universe where the characters from Gundam Wing and its sequel Frozen Teardrop are accomplished professional Duel Monsters players. Lo and behold, who was dueling while I was watching but the ol' "lightning count" himself, Milliardo Peacecraft (who's life point counter was at 800) facing off against his little sister, Relena (who's life points were currently at 4800). Now ol' Milliardo, he not only had "Star Eater" (ATK: 3200) on his side of the field, but also "Rare Metal Dragon" (ATK: 2400) and "Red Eyes Darkness Dragon" (ATK: 4100 due to its special ability) along side two face down spell/trap cards, and "Call of the Haunted" (which I assume is what he used to bring out "Rare Metal Dragon"). Relena on the other hand managed to get out the field spell "Sanctuary in the Sky" to help power up her face up monsters, "Guardian Angel Joan" (ATK: 3300 thanks to being equipped with the "Cestus of Dagla" equip spell) along with "Airknight Parshath" (ATK: 2400 thanks to being equipped with the equip spell "Black Pendant") with no other spell or trap cards on the field. It looks like things are pretty much set for the ol' "lightning count" to win it all, having only to attack with "Red Eyes" and "Star Eater" to do away with Relena's monsters, then dealing a chunk of her life points as damage using "Rare Metal Dragon", and finally finish the job with an all out assault the next turn should Relena not be able to make a comeback before then. Considering that Gundam Wing was the series that made many westerners (me included) both aware of and fans of the Gundam franchise, and how big a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh I am, I had to see how this duel turned out as Relena started her turn by drawing a card from her deck before playing the spell "Card of Sanctity" to draw an extra four cards, bringing her hand total to six (yeah, I was pretty sure that the universe that this duel was taking place in was using the anime effect of "Card of Sanctity", which I always preferred since the TCG version of the card totally screwed up the effect to the point where I don't even think it's even playable at all). Then came something I never would have expected from a deck used by Relena of all people: she activated the ritual spell "End of the World" and sent two "Nova Summoners" to the graveyard in order to summon "Demise, King of Armageddon" (ATK: 2400) in attack mode! **Too bad Zechs countered its summoning by playing one of the worst troll cards in the entire game in the form of "Torrential Tribute" to destroy every monster on the field, including his own before Relena could activate "Demise's" special ability to end the game in her favor!** Somehow I knew that she was pretty much doomed as I see her just set down a face down card to end her turn. Oh, but the troll-fest isn't over yet, as her brother started his turn by playing "Monster Reborn" to bring back a "Red Eyes Black Dragon" from his graveyard before sacrificing it in order to bring out **another "Red Eyes Darkness Dragon", only this time, it's attack points were at 5000 thanks to the monsters he got rid of with "Torrential Tribute"!** That's when his dragon attacked Relena to end the match, 800 LP to 0. If I ever decide to duel in that dimension against him, I'm not even gonna think about showing any mercy, and I'm gonna go all out with whatever cards I can get from Merch since my old deck probably wouldn't cut it. I was hooked, I wanted to watch more duels, but as it turns out, the match I was watching was **the freaking main event of the evening as the show ended shortly afterwards.** So, what am I to do? Change the damn channel, of course! Here I am, just flipping through channels while grabbing the book that Mura wanted me to go through and reading the thing (remember that I did get a head start) until I manage to find something that catches my eye: as it turns out, one of the Blackthorn family members has his own show, and he's currently getting buddy/buddy with the Crystal Gems from Steven Universe. Okay, maybe I can take some extra time switching between reading the chapters and watching this show, because I'm pretty interested in it. One butt load of chapters, a big dinner, and some more dimensional cable later, and I was ready to hit the sack for tomorrow, knowing that if today was a signal of what was to come, **then I was gonna need all the rest I could possibly get.**

 **(Current Power Levels (I'm probably only gonna be doing this up until the fight against Zeruel since I think by that point, power levels will have lost all meaning)**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 76-7700**

 **Mura Tenin: 3,000,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: ?**

 **Simon the Digger: ?**

 **Yoko Littner: ?**

 **Nia Tepplin: ?**

 **Viral: ?**

 **Others to Come: ?**

 **(Author's Note: Do look out for the Easter Eggs relating to some of Yoshi3000's works in this chapter. Brace yourselves, people, next chapter is gonna be two months worth of training in one chapter so we can get down to the good stuff: training Shinji and fighting against the Angels. So until next time, DSX62415, out.)**


	4. I Have (not) Yet Begun To Fight

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **04: I Have (not) Yet Begun to Fight OR 2 Months Worth of Training (in) 1 Chapter**

 **(Warning: all properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. Eva and Gurren Lagann to Anno, Rick and Morty to Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **Morning had came** as I prepared for the next day of my training along with getting more acquainted with most of the NERV staff, however there was one thing that I was dreading having to deal with today: having to meet with Gendo Ikari: the bastard king of anime himself. Now it's no secret that many people within the anime fandom community hate this guys guts for everything he's done throughout most, if not **all** the non-Angelic Days based timelines, me included. I get my training gear on under a black three piece suit, weights included, wanting nothing more than to get my run in with the old rat bastard out of the way as quickly as possible. At least I had breakfast to keep my mind off the matter, if only for a little while. Once I had eaten my fill, I excuse Wynn, Eria and Lyna to tend to their daily deeds while I go off to confront the old demonic fool that not even the devil himself would back up at NERV headquarters. Luckily Misato was there to give me a guided tour as we reached my destination: Gendo's office as the door opened to reveal the rat bastard sitting at his desk in his most iconic pose with his older goon Fuyutsuki by his side.

"This better be important, Major Katsuragi."

Misato gestured towards me and replied "Commander Ikari, this is the new representative from the UN, Mr. Desmond Bishops, he's your 9:30 appointment."

The old fool looks at me as if I were someone sent to shut down his whole operation **(so there might be a chance that he was on to me already. Damn.)** before bluntly saying "Seriously? Out of everyone from the UN's horde of representatives, they send me a lowly...college student?"

You know, I actually took some offense to that before responding "Oh you wish they sent someone who believes in a dream that doesn't exist anymore, because right now you're looking at your new worst nightmare, Ikari."

I then turn to Misato and ask her to wait for me at the nearest elevator, wanting to have a few words alone with the commander, she allows it and walks away as I step into the room and the door closes behind me.

"Listen here, Ikari, it's no secret among UN members that most of us don't like you. In fact, some of us outright hate your guts, including me. So it wouldn't be much of a surprise that the grand majority of us don't trust you in the slightest amount with either **our money or our machines.** So here's what's gonna go down: you're gonna do everything I tell you, you're gonna like it, and if you even so much as **think about crossing me, I will have the entire might of the United Nations military come crashing down on your little organization while you get hung from the gallows. Do you understand me?** "

"You think I'm intimidated by you? Well think again, because I don't give a damn what you or the UN say about me, or your petty little threats. **I** have control of the EVAs, **I** have the city nothing short of under my heel. You want to go against me, then you better damn well be sure you can beat me."

Oh it was on now as I reply back "I don't think I can beat you, I **know** I can **destroy** you. So you better choose your next few words correctly, because they might as well be your last if they aren't."

Well, that shut him up for a bit before I continue to speak at my own pace by saying "Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I can tell you that I've already met with Major Katsuragi, and I do intend to meet with the rest of the major staff here in due time, so they better be ready for interviews with me when I say that it's their time, got it?"

Before Ikari could even open his mouth, his lacky managed to chime in and reply "Crystal clear, sir."

"Good. Now then, I have other appointments that I'd like to keep today, one of which is meeting this secretary that NERV, or more so you were so adamant on me having, and quite frankly I don't want to be in the same room as you any longer than I have to. So goodbye for now, and remember: I'm watching both of you like a freaking hawk, so don't even **think** about trying anything stupid. Got it?"

He was just absolutely silent as I walked out the door, but deep down I already knew he hated my guts as much as I hated his. I make my way to the elevator that Misato and I rode in order to reach our current floor as I see her talking to a woman in a plum business suit who's physical appearance was nothing short of a dead ringer for that of Jessie's from Pokemon. That's when Misato signals me to come over to where she was standing.

"There you are, Mr. Bishops. How'd the meeting with the commander go?"

"I got what I wanted to say said, that's all you really need to know right now. Anyways, I'm guessing that this is the secretary NERV wanted me to have?"

To which Misato confirms by saying "You guessed right, meet Jessabelle Musashi. She'll be your assistant in regards to all things NERV during your stay here."

Jessebelle then reaches out her hand for me to shake before saying "I'm sure it'll be a pleasure working with you, Mr. Bishops. If you ever need anything from me, , all you have to do is call the number on this card." before handing me her personal business card with her contact info.

"Thank you, I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I'm organizing my meetings with the rest of the major NERV staff."

I can honestly say while walking out of NERV HQ and back into the limo I rode there in that our dear Jessie look alike was gonna be more than just some shlub that NERV dispatched in order to keep tabs on me and my plans, and possibly a fairly decent ally who could aid me in my plans to take down the organization and Gendo later on. But I didn't have time to think about it further right now, I had Warper training to get to. Mura and I head to the outskirts of Kamina city where something that kinda surprised me was waiting for us.

"Uh, dare I ask what this is?"

Well, my question gets answered when Mura responds "This my simple little apprentice, is a Gravity Amplification Research Dome. I had Merch set one up here last night, even went with the DXXL model, thing can simulate upwards of 200 times Earth's gravity. You, me, those Gurren Lagann guys, we're all gonna be using this baby to help further your training."

 **Two hundred times Earth's gravity?!** It's official: this lady is trying to kill me.

"Oh don't look at me like that, your mutated Saiyan/Human/Spiral hybrid DNA should make this a cinch for you. After all, isn't the whole gimmick of Spiral Energy that it's based off of will power and fighting spirit like the Green Lanterns?"

Well, she had me licked...again.

"Alright, is this thing what we're gonna be using to help learn how to do Ki blasts?"

"Hmmmmmm...not exactly. Before I even think of letting you set foot in there, I'm gonna have you try and fire off a few Ki blasts using the information in those chapters I told you to read last night. You did read what I told you to, right?

All I can do is nod yes, having gone through every page of what she wanted me to go over before I wound up crashing into meditation induced sleep just after midnight last night.

"Perfect, then you'll probably have an easy time blasting something out of the air using only your internal Ki reserves."

That's when she picks up a small rock off of the ground and throws it into the air, signaling me to shoot it. I focus my energy an try to create an explosive ball to shoot at said rock, only to get...jack squat **(I'd like to see you do it on your first try without years of practice, people readying their jeers in the comment section)**. That's when she picks up the rock again before telling me "I hope you don't intend on us getting into that machine for a while, because we're gonna keep practicing this until you get it down pat. Now try again." She throws the rock into the air again as I thrust out my palm, firing off a concentrated ball of energy to blow it to bits. Whadya know, only took me two tries with that trick.

"Better, but let's see you do it again a few more time with multiple targets."

That's when she starts throwing more rocks in my general direction, leading me to shoot off a few more energy balls to counter 'em before my eyes start bugging out of my head at the sight of a **giant boulder heading my way.** If I didn't shoot that thing apart, I was nothing short of a goner. So I try and focus energy into both hands before firing off a bigger blast that manages to blow the boulder into smaller bite sized chunks.

"Very good, a few more rounds of doing that and you should have basic Ki attacks down pat. I think it's about time to try some sparring inside the Gravity Amplification Research Dome."

Now I knew this wasn't gonna be a fun day, but I just had to suck it up and accept it as I entered the dome shaped building where Mura was standing next to some sort of console.

"Now I know we only just started training yesterday, so I'm gonna go easy on you and set this to only two times Earth's gravity to start us off. So while you may be wearing about 80 pounds of weight, it's gonna feel like you're wearing 160 pounds worth."

I had to ask "Uh, wouldn't it be better to have me wear like, 5 pound weights while under multiple amplifications of Earth's gravity, and then have me wear ones equal to the next magnification up while outside?"

The reply I get: "Hmmmm, we can try out your little theory next time, but for right now, you'll just have to make due."

She then sets the gravity setting to 2Gs as I instantly feel the shift in weight in my arms and legs as if they were being pulled to the ground a whole lot faster then they would be in normal gravity. That's when the Majin lady faces me before getting into a battle stance and saying "By training under multiple magnifications of Earth's gravity, you should be able to get relatively the same results as you would get under normal gravity, just at a faster rate."

I almost wanted to disagree with her, but I had to look back at the prime example of this happening: Goku. During the time between his fight with Raditz and the Saiyan invasion of Earth in DBZ, he was able to get his power level up from just a few hundred to over 8000 (or 9000 if you're a die hard believer of the English translations) by spending a year training non-stop on King Kai's planet, which has a gravity factor of 3 times that of Earth. And by the time he was done, he was able to safely pull off a x3 Kaio Ken and use the Spirit Bomb. And if that example wasn't enough, there's the example of him training under 100x Earth's gravity during his journey to planet Namek in order to pull off stuff like a x10 Kaio Ken. Pretty impressive feats, right? Well, the thing to 'em is that Goku was able to train **non-stop for 6 to 12 months where as I only had less than 2 months before the events of the canon began. PLUS I had to deal with NERV affairs along with keeping my Warper powers a secret until the time was right.** Now I wasn't expecting to get Frieza saga Goku level results, but I wouldn't mind having power comparable to Frieza saga Piccolo if possible. That's when the sparring begins, and with the added gravitational force, I was getting my ass handed to me...repeatedly. The only good things to come out of it were that I was able to slightly adjust to it properly and another Zenkai boost coming my way, the second out of what I assumed would be many come the end of basic training. We finally return home to Tokyo 3 as I manage to rest up and go through some more of the "For Dummies" books I got from Merch to learn their secrets. At least the next day was gonna be a good one since not only did I not have any appointments with NERV, but it would also be the day that hopefully my real training with the Dai Gurren Brigade. Mura and I were standing inside one of the main conference rooms inside of Parliament Tower along with the members of Team Dai Gurren as Simon says to us "Alright, what is it that you needed to talk to us about?"

Since we couldn't just go ahead and say that we were Warpers who wanted to be trained on how to use Spiral Energy by them or risk causing some sort of cataclysmic event happening before the events of future canon take place, we made up a quick story as I responded "To sum it all up, we came here from the future to warn you about a grave danger that will come your way in no less than 4 years time."

Yoko Littner, being one of the smarter ones in the group was more critical of my story, leading her to respond "Wait, how do we know that this isn't some sort of prank?"

Which lead Mura to reply "Because if we were playing a trick on you guys, we wouldn't have brought **this** with us."

That's when Mura showed off a syringe filled with a green liquid before explaining "During the time where we came from, a group of vicious aliens known as the Anti-Spirals have done a significant amount of damage to the Earth using Nia as a beacon after the planet's population reaches past the 1 million mark. You guys were able to save her and defeat the Anti-Spiral leader...but at a cost as Nia dies shortly afterwards due to a fail safe implanted in her in case their plans failed. The serum you see in my hands was formulated to help make Nia immune to the power the Anti-Spirals use to bring their plans into fruition, while cutting off their fail safe in Nia should their plans go south."

I add "Which brings us to the reason why we're here: a few years after you defeat their supposed leader, the Anti-Spirals came back, more powerful than ever, and even you guys weren't enough to stop them this time. Before it was too late, we were sent back in time to make sure that you become even more powerful than you were during the first Anti-Spiral war, all the way to the point where you'll be able to defeat them even without the use of GunMen. Will you help us protect the future by training with us and becoming even more powerful then you could possibly imagine?"

Of course most of 'em were skeptical about our story at first, but eventually came around after thinking about the possibilities of their future becoming like the one that Mura and I had described. A few minutes later, we all step in front of the GARD as Mura hands each of them a set of 5 pound weights to wear on their arms and legs while explaining how the weights would affect their training. She then says that she wants me and Simon to spar as an example of what the training would be like as he and I face one another. I really expected things to not go as planned by this point in my Warper career, but no. Why? Because before either of us could even think of throwing the first punch, Viral comes lunging at us with cleaver in hand spouting on about how he'll have his revenge for the indignity he suffered at the hands of the Dai Gurrens during their last encounter before Mura stopped him dead in his tracks. After she knocked the cleaver out of his hands, she made a him an offer: beat her and be allowed to go after us without interference, but lose and be forced to serve as her student. The team and I watch as she female Majin pretty much decimates the Human/Beastman hybrid in a matter of mere seconds before explaining the part he played in the first Anti-Spiral war, and how his valiant efforts and final sacrifice during the second one made him a legendary hero in the "timeline that me and her came from". Eventually it sank into him that if he trained with the rest of us, he could one day possibly surpass even the Spiral king during his prime, which gave him all the reasons he needed to decide to join us. That's when the rest of the day started going by a little bit smoother with non-stop sparing matches, including some under 2x Earth's gravity thanks to the GARD. A day's worth of training, getting more used to amplified gravity and one boost to my power level later, and I'm back home checking on what's on the ol' dimensional boob tube. To my surprise, I had gotten another package from Toki Toki Town had shown up while I was gone. Turns out that this Ryoshiro character seems to be a fan of the "show", and wanted ol' Merch to set me up with some new training gear including a set of modular weights that I could adjust at any time and a pair of pretty cool looking shades. Wait a minute, "show"? Now I knew that the guy I saw with the Crystal Gems, Ryker Blackthorn had his own show since I had watched it last night, but I never expected me to get my own show this early on. Once the canon series started, maybe, but not during my training. I had to see this for myself, just to make sure that this wasn't some sort of prank. So I picked up the remote, turned on the voice function, and said "Search for shows featuring Desmond Bishops". And that's when I saw it: a camera view of me from behind right on my TV. I couldn't believe this, I felt like I was in a parody of that one scene from Spaceballs where Helmet and Sanders were watching themselves as the movie was still being made (and I love that movie as one of my all time favorites). Yeah, turns out that there was a clause in the registration papers that gave any Warper television channel the right to make a show about my adventures and air 'em on dimensional cable. This was at least four kinds of trippy, and I didn't wanna deal with it right now, so I change the channel to a network airing a dare show, and the host was none other than Loveless herself hosting the Straw Hats along with other famous One Piece characters in doing dares and reactions. This didn't surprise me as much as you might think it would, considering that I did submit dares to the show prior to coming here, and even collected most of the stuff that I had them fetch for me on fetch quests. Eventually like everyone who had the chance to watch TV from every possible reality, I got bored and wanted to see what else was on, so I change the channel to find that **yet another Blackthorn family member** had his own show, except that in this one, he was pretty much building a harem of buxom beauties like they were a team of Pokemon. The next two months go by in a somewhat repetitive cycle: wake up, eat a huge breakfast, get myself cleaned up and ready for the day (now with the modular weights set to 5 pounds each since they'll just increase in amplified gravity), meet with NERV officials, piss off Gendo even more, then train with Mura and the Dai Gurrens for most of the day until it's time to go home, then it's dimensional TV, dinner, and hitting the books before meditating myself to sleep until it was time to repeat the process the next day with only slight alterations here and there on certain days. For example, on day 17 of the training, there wasn't any sparing to be had, like, at all. No, the whole day was focused on meditation and unlocking the ability to pull off the Kaio Ken. A bit surprising that we're going over something found in "Intermediate Energy Manipulation for Dummies" when the Dai Gurrens were more on the level of "Beginners", not to mention that according to Mura's profile, she had only trained with versions of Krillin, Piccolo and Vegeta during her time with the Time Patrol, which meant that we should only be learning stuff like the Destructo-Disc, Galick Gun, Spacial Beam Cannon, Final Flash, Hell-Zone Grenade, you get the idea. But hey, it's a free move that boosts your strength in short bursts during a fight, you don't pass something like that up. Then there was day 47, where it was basically free period for training since Mura had to take off in order to deal with something with her family. When I had asked about it after she had got back, she had told me that members of her clan were branching off to form their own sub-sect called the Kage in order to distance themselves with the more corrupt Tenin family members. Pulling a trade with Merch for some info regarding the Tenins in exchange for DNA samples of Total Drama's Sanders, I managed to get the down lo on the actual clan itself: turns out that before the Blackthorns were the most powerful family in all of Warper-dom, the Tenin and Frost families were the biggest with the Tenins being the major business moguls of the two. But when the Blackthorns had created the BlackTabs for the first time, they quickly fell into ruin in the aftermath of the Blackthorn/Frost war. Making matters worse for the family was that Merch himself had sued 'em for trying to steal the blueprints for the BlackTabs to sell for themselves. As a result of losing the court case, the head of the family had their power sealed, and was sentenced to exile on an undisclosed world. Yeah, if my clan had screwed themselves over that much, I'd probably wanna jump ship by starting up my own group too. Just barely under 2 months worth of training, dealing with NERV officials, and getting new ways to get my power level up through dimensional cable later, and I was able to withstand 12x Earth's gravitational pull and safely pull off a x7 Kaio Ken as my max while sitting pretty with a power level of 81,000. I knew that I had only one more day before the third Angel would show up so I could put my plan into action by beginning Shinji's training, but I still had to make a few more stops in order to tie up some loose ends first. **Earth Dimension C-137-AU2** : something that could only be described as a near identical mirror version of the Prime Rick and Morty timeline save for things like Rick sparing the council and becoming their primary source of Mulan Szechuan Terriyaki dipping sauce for their McNuggets alongside Jerry filing for divorce against Beth **before** Rick busted out of prison and took down the Galactic Federation's government. Stepping to the door of the Sanchez house with blueprints of Slash Man, Quick Man and Drill Man in hand, I politely knock on the door to be met by Beth herself.

"Can I help you?"

I reply "Actually, yes. I'm looking for a Rick Sanchez, any chance he's home right now?"

"Hold on a second. Dad, there's someone here for you! And he's got blueprints or something! He'll be out in a moment."

A few seconds later and out comes Rick, drunker than usual. Though I can't really blame him for it since I saw the episode of Steven Universe Blackthorned where the Jerry of this timeline was revealed to not only be having a fling with Rick's old flame Unity, but is a member of the Warper Tribunal, a group of sadistic corrupt Warpers lead by the head of the Frost family.

"Lemme guess, you're here for the (belch) Unmaker, aren't you?"

"Yeesh Rick, you look horrible."

"Oh yeah? (belch) Well I'd like to, you know (belch) see (belch) you after after for-forty hours of binge drinking w-w-without being able to sleep because probably the (belch) only thing in the universe that proved to be your equal was buys nailing the brains out of your stupid former son in law."

"Yeah, I saw the episode, and if I didn't like Jerry all that much then, I outright dislike him now that there's a version of him working for those slimeballs in the Tribunal that would be willing to undercut their own family members just so they could win some stupid shooter game."

"The feeling's mutual. Alright, your weapon is in the garage. You got the stuff we agreed upon?"

To which I reply "Right here. Three sets of Robot Master blueprints, and good ones too."

"Yeah yeah, we'll see about that."

We step into the garage as I see Morty dressed up like the "No Mercy Morty" from the Pocket Mortys mobile game, just without any of the scars putting a final polish on the same Unmaker I gave them not too long ago now sporting red glowing tubes and orbs across the body. Rick then picks it up and explains to me "It's simple: just aim this at an Angel or anything that makes an AT Field of significant strength and pull the trigger. It'll fire off an Anti-AT Field burst that'll strike the core head on. Just be careful cause you're gonna get some serious (belch) decomposition. Like, massive chunks of Angel meat all (belch) over the area where the corpse is gonna be. Y-y-you're looking at a real gore-fest more or less when you fire this thing."

I get out the Robot Master blueprints out before handing them to Rick, and it was at that moment when an idea on how to deal with Jerry came into my head.

"Hey Rick, at the end of your little adventure with Ryker and the Gems, you said that you wanted to put out a bounty on Jerry, right?"

"Yeah, your point?"

"Well, what if I decided to take the job, as a favor?"

The response I get: "By all means, go right ahead." And this didn't come from Rick mind you, but from **Morty** of all people. Yeah, I'm as shocked as the rest of you **(well, those of you who haven't read any of Yoshi3000's Rick and Morty related stories yet anyway. And if you haven't yet, why not?)**.

"Holy crap, wasn't expecting that out of ya', Morty."

Which he replies to me by saying "After the whole reveal that he's apart of the Tribunal thing that recently happened, it's the grand consensus within the family that dad's gotta go. So you know, blast him, tear him apart, melt him with some sort of Mega Tur-Turbulent Juice mixture, there uh, there really isn't any real wrong options, just as long he's dead in the end."

Dayum, this Morty means business. I accepted to take on the hit, and do you know what the easiest part of the job was? Well I'll tell ya': **actually finding the guy.** Yeah, turns out that the dumb Tribunal butt thumper was actually dumb enough to **post where he was hiding out on his Warper Facebook page, that stupid moron.** Turns out that he was currently hiding out in a Seth MacFarlene animated timeline where Brian Griffin's Space Shire 7 series became a multimedia mass hit franchise and was currently holed up in what was the mountain mansion that belonged to Stan's stepbrother. The actual hard part was gonna be getting inside and doing the job itself since the mansion had now been reinforced with an outer perimeter wall that was swarming with security in the form of guard bot B-2 Super Battle Droids with who knows what else waiting for me on the inside. I knew that this wasn't gonna be a cakewalk, but I had to test myself, I needed to truly know how far I had come since going from level 7 to level 10 because if I can't take down this chud, then how the hell am I supposed to take on anything in the multiverse that's gonna want a piece of me? I mean I probably already have a few sadists on my now non-existent tail, and Primus knows how many more are gonna be after me once I put my plan into motion. I was getting ready to infiltrate the outer area of the wall...that is until I felt a tapping on my shoulder. To my shock, the person behind me was Mura who had **most of the Dai Gurrens in tow with her.**

"You really think that I'm gonna let someone like you risk their life by taking part in an assassination job of a wanted criminal guarded by hordes of robot drones on your own with minimal training and lack of experience in the field?"

"Hold on, how'd you know that I'd be here?"

The response I get: "You don't think I have access to dimensional cable too?"

"Okay I probably should have expected that answer, but that still doesn't explain why you brought the Dai Gurrens with you...unless you showed them dimensional cable, which would mean that you...oh no."

Simon was the first to reply to this by saying "It was bound to happen eventually, though I guess we can't really blame you guys for wanting to hold on to your secret since you were willing to go so far as to help prevent the ending to our fight with these Anti-Spiral from being as bittersweet as it would have been without your help."

Yoko adds on to this by going "Weither you two are who you say you are or not, you're still full members of the Dai Gurren Brigade, weither you like it or not."

 **They didn't want to kill me, I'll take that as a win.** That's when I come up with a plan that involves all of us.

"Alright, I have an idea on how to breach the compound: Mura will take Gimmy, Darry, Kitan and Viral to take the left flank of the outer perimeter while I'll take Simon, Nia and Yoko to storm the right and from there, we'll regroup and take down the security within the inner areas until we reach our target. Sound good?"

They all nod in agreement to my plan. Yeah, it seemed like a pretty good plan on paper, but there was still the level of difficulty that comes with actually pulling it off. Luckily the ol' tinnies didn't put up too much of a fight as we were able to take 'em down using only the most simple attacks someone can learn. Breaching the outer area was a breeze as we slowly made our way to the upper levels of the inner base, and while there were some obstacles that got annoying at times **(those stupid Destroyer Droids with their laser shields and those lousy Magnaguards that don't stay down unless you make them)** , we were still able to reach Jerry's hiding spot without revealing too much of our full powers...until I got separated from the rest of the group, leaving them to deal with Glob knows what and I can't help them. Next thing I know, out comes the slick little pain in the ass Tribunal member slow clapping while he made his presence known out of the shadows.

"I knew it was only gonna be a matter of time before Rick sent someone to get rid of me, but did he have to send some relative unknown and his wimpy friends to fight me?"

Okay, that little comment got me a little steamed as I reply "I'll have you know you're talking to a bonafied level 10 Warper compared to your weak ass level 4 status. You should be begging me for mercy right now since my team and I managed to mow through your entire security force without any real problems."

"Oh did you? Really? Why don't you take a look at that monitor over there, because by the looks of things, your little buddies are in a real bit of a spot right now."

Damn I hate it when people prove me wrong because when I look at the monitor, I see the other having their hands full dealing with a squad of automated Gunmen Drones modeled to look like Barzams from Zeta Gundam lead by one that looked like the Bawoo from Double Zeta.

"See that? Your little buddies aren't gonna stand much of a chance against those Gunmen drones, and neither is that Blackthorn brat and his rock friends when they go up against Lord Elvin of the Tribunal...if they even make it that far."

"Uh, hate to burst your bubble, but according to the latest episode of Steven Universe Blackthorned, they've already reached Elvin's castle, and he and Ryker haven't truly had a real chance to fight yet. So there's still a pretty good chance that Ryker can pull something out at the last minute and kick Elvin's ass."

"Well it's too bad that you won't be able to see the end result, especially after I've beaten you into a fine paste with **this.** "

Jerry then pressed a button on the chair he was sitting in as it turns into a cockpit to a giant mech suit sporting emblems for both the Schnee Dust Company and the Atlas military, meaning that it must have come from the world of Remnant.

"Really, Jerry? An Atlesian Paladin mech? You can't just accept your fate with what little dignity you might have left?"

In that stupid way he does, he just replies "Nope. Now prepare to meet your doom at the hands of my giant mechanical friend Mr. Crowbar, you dumb bounty hunting fool!"

Okay, so now I have to deal with the sumbyatch using a powered robotic mech suit meant to take on the toughest Grimms out there that could probably take me out in a matter of seconds if I'm not careful, time to fight like I've never fought before. So what do I do? Use a Destructo Disc? Nope, bot's able to deflect it. Volley of Ki blasts? I swear that thing's got some sort of anti-beam coating on it since my Ki attacks aren't doing a thing to it. Alright then, time to put some good ol' fashioned blades to use with the Ultimate Rising Titan Sword that I got off of Merch. At least I was finally able to land a dent into that bot's armor before getting swatted around like a bug into a nearby wall. Okay, so the direct approach to this isn't really working for me, then I'll just attack from behind. That's gotta work, right? Well, technically yes, but ultimately no since while I was able to get in a few hits that caused some cosmetic damage, I still got swatted into another wall. David H. Jones the crippled tap dancing Christ on a crutch, what does it take to bring this freaking thing down?! Let's see...what haven't I tried on this hunk of junk yet? Well it seems like that things is emitting a higher power level than I was, so what if I tried hitting it while using the Kaio Ken? Now judging from what little damage I've actually been able to do on it, that thing must be made out of some pretty sturdy stuff, not Cybertronian level sturdy, but still. So I might have to hit it with a stronger amplification than just double power. Might as well start off with x3 to wear it down. Of course while I'm thinking this out, Jerry did one of the usual villain cliches by questioning my durability an going "Had enough yet, or would you like me to keep mashing you into a fine paste?"

Oh now he was just begging for me to wail on him as I reply "That was just a warm up, time to get the real fight going. And I know just how to kick things off. Kaio Ken x3!"

Red aura starts surrounding me as Jerry's on board Scouter starts going off saying that my power level just shot up to 243,000. Obviously the Tribunal jackass didn't want me getting the upper hand, so he tries to shoot me with a shoulder mounted missile **(luckily I was able to dodge it before returning fire with a few Ki blasts of my own that actually do legit damage to the armor protecting the unit's power generator)**. Things were actually starting to turn for my favor...until Jerry caught a lucky strike that sent me hurling back until I was able to recover and go into a x4 Kaio Ken.

"Warning: target's power level has increased even further. Current level stands at 324,000. Recommended course of action would be to terminate target before power level can be increased further."

That thing wasn't wrong, ol' white guilt milk toast piece of human garbage had better pull something out of his ass to finish me off quick before I do the same thing to him, only much worse. There was no way that I was gonna risk letting him get the best of me, so I did something that might seem pretty stupid **(and in hindsight kinda was)** , but was the best option I had on such short notice: go straight into Kaio Ken x7, raise my power all the way up to 567,000, and break that tin can down to scrap metal as quickly as possible. I was able to dodge his attacks before firing off a shot that damaged its back armor so bad that the generator's protective plating broke off with a shard of it damaging the power supply in the process. As much as I would have loved to keep up the pace, my body was already starting to feel the strain of the Kaio Ken hitting it with everything it had. So I had to cancel the transformation and revert back into normal form, knowing that at least the fight should be a little bit easier from this point onwards.

"Danger. Danger. Primary power source damaged. Energy reserves decreasing at a rapid rate. Terminate target now before energy reserves are completely depleted."

"Tell me something I don't already know, you hunk of junk!"

"Teen Titans Go will be receiving a theatrical release feature film on Earth Prime in the year 2018 in the bane of the feature film for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."

"Wow, really?"

 **Are you for real, Warner Brothers?! I leveled up in Warper rank before the Friendship is Magic movie was even released in theaters, and when I last checked up on current events on Earth Prime, the movie still wasn't released when Warner Brothers announced this. Why would you announce that you're making this to be put out in theaters when your competition hasn't even had its theatrical run and proven if something like this could work after the rise and fall of cartoons being adapted into movies back in the early 2000's?! Look, I don't hate Teen Titans Go (at least not as much as I used to), but I really don't think anyone was clamoring for a theatrical release feature film based off this show. Made for TV or straight to home video, maybe, but not theatrical release.** Alright, I gotta end this fast. If my body can hold out for a few more quick Kaio Ken x7, bursts, I should be able to take this guy down relatively quick, right? Well...not so much. Before I even know it, I'm getting blasted with 4 kinds of Null Rays, slammed by concussive grenades, and given the old one two by a pair of giant mechanical fists. Here I am, beaten, bloody, bruised and barely able to stand on my own two feet as the iron dingus steps closer to deliver the final blow, but not before gloating about it first in true villain fashion.

"So, puny assassin, ready to meet your doom at the hands of my mechanical marvel and its friend Mr. Giant Crowbar who is actually a giant crowbar?"

"Danger. Danger. Power reserves down to 31%. Terminate target immediately."

"Can't you see I'm gloating here, you bucket of bolts?"

By the standpoint of logic, this is where I was gonna bite the big one. But if there's something that moron should have learned after seeing my teammates teaming up to take down each of the Gunmen drones, it's that when your a member of team Dai Gurren, the first rule you ever learn is to kick logic's ass to the curb before bending it over and giving it the ultimate fisting before adding insult to injury and making it pay out the ass for it, be it a sub or not. It may be a huge flight risk, and it could destroy my body in the process, but if I had nay chance of taking that thing and Jerry down for good, then I was gonna have to use a Kaio Ken magnification higher than that my body can safely endure.

 **(Track change: "Red Desire" by Masayuki Tanaka- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)**

"You may think you've beaten me, Jerry, but you and I know that this is far from over. I'm gonna take that tin can of yours, turn it into scrap metal, and fashion your funeral casket out of what's left. Say hi to your boss when he eventually winds up in hell with you, because taking down evil douchebags like you is just the way me, the Dai Gurrens, and the Crystal Squadron roll. Kaio Ken **x13!** "

I start charging up as much Spiral Energy infused Ki as I can as the scouter on Jerry's Paladin starts going haywire.

"Warning. Warning. Target's power level has increased to 1,053,000. Damage to power reserves and armor decrease odds of surviving outcome to .03%. Recommended course of action: make peace with your religious deity and hope to die quickly."

"Ooh, I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"What do you think? Here goes everything: **Giga Sword Hyper Storm Surge!** "

Charging up as much Spiral Ki as I could into the blade of my sword, I start slashing away as green energy slashes start tearing into Jerry's mech suit.

"Danger. Danger. Power level of incoming attack registering at 1,120,541. Chances of survival now depleted. Damage levels at critical and ejection device is no longer operational. Multiple lethal blows now 100% certain. Recommended course of action: again, hope to die quickly."

Once all is said and done and the track cuts out, the Paladin was nothing more than a heap of scrap metal and Jerry was lying on the floor cut in half from the torso. The job wasn't done yet, so I take out my phone and snap a picture before sending it to Rick to confirm that his no good terrorist son in law is as good as dead. Before I know it, Rick and Morty come out of a portal as Mura and the Dai Gurrens blast down the door to the room where mine and Jerry's little scrap took place. Though not quite surprising to me now, Morty was the first to speak up.

"Holy cow, when you Warpers take someone out, you really do it in style, don't you?"

Then Simon asks "You okay, bro? You look like you just took a serious beating."

"Well considering that I had to use a times 13 Kaio Ken to win when my body is only currently capable of safely sustain a times 7 and my body is currently writhing in pain as we speak, please take me to a hospital."

Shouts of concern are the last thing I hear before blacking out from using all of the energy that I did during the fight. Next thing I know, I'm waking up inside of a capsule shaped pod as a bunch of green liquid was just getting done draining out as I see Rick, Morty, Mura and Merch standing around me.

"How long was I out for?"

The response I get from Merch: "About 5 hours. Your body took some pretty serious damage, you got luck when Mura was able to call me up when she did, or you would've been dead by now."

To which Mura adds on by saying "And before you ask, no I didn't have any more Senzu beans on me, so I couldn't heal you right on the spot."

Then I turn to Rick and Morty before Rick goes "Don't (belch) look at me either, kid. We ran out of Pure Cureum after a scrap with some Federation Groflomite remnants."

"But wait, where are the Dai Gurrens?"

Mura replies "I had Merch patch 'em up and sent 'em home to recover. I have to say that they did pretty well for their first official Warper mission considering those Gunmen drones each had a power level close to mine at 3,000,000 and their commander unit was at 10,000,000. There was some trouble for some of us on our own, but once we were able to gang up on 'em individually, that problem almost instantly went away."

"Good to know. Hey, what time is it in the Tokyo 3 I wound up in anyway?"

Merch looks at his BlackTab before replying "About 3:45 in the morning. Why?"

"Great, in a couple more hours, the third Angel is gonna make its presence known and kick off the events of the canon."

To which Morty chimes in by stating "But you got that custom gun Rick made for you, so there, there shouldn't be any real problems for you, right?"

"Yeah, but I still need to make it look like the EVAs took them down while I blast through their AT Fields in secret. Not to mention that now that I've taken down Jerry, I'm probably gonna have whatever's left of the Tribunal once Ryker gets done with them on my ass alongside whatever comes my way due to me altering the time line."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that if I wanna be able to face whatever's coming my way in the future, I'm gonna need a whole lot more to up my game."

That's when Merch gave me a little bit of information that I didn't mind hearing.

"Well you did earn a total of 950,000 dimensional credits for taking out Jerry, so you could use that towards getting a set up installed in your dimension."

"Huh, I thought it'd be a lot less coming from Rick."

Which leads the drunk scientist to respond "Don't look at me, I didn't even post the bounty yet before you showed up."

Well it didn't take too long for an answer on where the bounty originated from to come into the light as Merch says "Yeah, the Order kinda beat Rick to it. It was originally only for about 250,000, but I kinda added on to it because what can I say, the Tribunal's bad for business. I can't afford to have pains in the ass like him running around and trying to get stuff off of me for their own twisted reasons. I mean us Warpers have a law of neutrality that says that we can pretty much get away with anything outside of sexual assault ranging from icing someone just because we don't like them up to marrying a magic pony from the land of Equestria, which is still technically counted as bestiality in most alternate timelines unless your marrying the version of that character from the Equestria Girls universes, but even we have our own limits on how far we can take that freedom before some group screws it all up for the rest of us."

That's when I start doing some shopping around by asking "What would that plus the DNA samples of both Total Drama's Gwen and Dark Magician Girl from Yu-Gi-Oh in terms of something like that GARD unit you sold to Mura?"

Merch calculates the total on a nearby computer terminal before answering "Enough to get you the 4XL model, which can pretty much do double what the one I sold Mura can. It's pretty much a giant research lab/workout room/fallout shelter all rolled into one."

"Sold. I'm also gonna need a disguise in case there's any threats that I would have to protect the civilians from that aren't Angels."

"Hmmmmmmmmm, you said that you also had DNA samples of MacArthur from the Ridonculous Race along with those of Sanders, right?"

"Yes."

"Well if you'd be willing to part with it, I think I can set you up with a custom suit of armor to act as a form of disguise, something that could be summoned akin to the Great Saiyaman's costume."

"Deal, lemme get out of here so we can get right to work on designing it."

"But first, you uh, might wanna put on some new threads."

Did I dare look at the lower half of my body? I did not, instead opting to tell the others to look the other way while I suit back up in a new set of Vegito fighting gear. Then it was time to figure out the design for my disguise, which Merch and I were able to work out in the form of a dark blue Cell Games era Saiyan body glove topped with angular armor similar to that of Kamen Rider Ghost's Mugen Soul done up in a color scheme similar to your standard versions of Wheeljack from Transformers with alterations including changing the helmet to include dragonic rear head spikes to go with the horn and trading in the hoodie for a white cape with a red interior and a Dai Gurren Brigade emblem emblazoned on the back. The armor itself could be brought out using a watch similar to the Omniverse version of Ben Tennyson's Omnitrix, except that the white was recolored into a midnight violet and sported a function that could let me summon any weapon that I had placed a special tag on with just a push of a button. Soon enough, we were back in Tokyo 3 right before the sun was set to rise in order to tie up any current loose ends. We had set up the GARD in an abandoned warehouse just a few miles away from the hotel before I was dropped off on the outer deck of the penthouse as Merch throws me a bag of Senzu beans, stating that they were on the house before he and the Sanchezes teleport out of sight. Mura left shortly afterwards saying that she wanted to help with the Dai Gurren's training, though she did say that she'd be checking in on me every few days so I don't get shlubby. This left me alone with my thoughts for a moment until I heard a familiar voice.

"Um, Mr. Bishops sir, shouldn't you be in bed right now? I mean, you probably have some pretty important NERV stuff on your plate tomorrow, so wouldn't it be a good idea to try and get as much sleep as possible to deal with it?"

I turn my head to see Lyna standing in the door way wearing a pink silk robe, leaving me to only question what was underneath and what the three of them could have possibly done while I was out.

"Nah, I feel pretty rested enough. Plus I thought I'd watch the sunrise. I mean it's something that I've wanted to do for a while now, so I figured "while I'm up."

"Really? I loved watching the sunrise back in America, but I really haven't gotten a chance to watch one here yet."

"Well now's your chance, here it comes."

If there's one thing that can be truthfully said, it's that a sunrise can be surprisingly impactful to the soul, filling it with a sense of wonder that is all too often lost at any given point in a person's life. The kind of peace it brought was just the advantage I needed to ask something that had been on my mind for a while now.

"Lyna, do you mind if I ask you something personal about yourself?"

"Um, I guess not. What would you like to know?"

"Well, it technically revolves around your relationship with Wynn and Eria. You three seem pretty close, even for the best of friends."

She was a bit hesitant to answer at first, but she finally spoke up when she replied "Well...I guess you could possibly say that Wynn, Eria and I are kinda...more than...friends."

"Really, how so?"

The look of worry on her face increases in magnitude before she responds "Do you promise not to judge?"

The only thing I can do is give her a reassuring smile and answer "Lemme hear it, I'm sure it's not that bad."

I could see that some of the worry had left her, not all of it, but enough for her to answer me properly.

"Well...you see...Wynn, Eria and I are kinda...friends...with...benefits."

All I can do is smile and reply "That's it? Yeeesh, from the look on your face, I thought you were gonna tell me that you three I don't know, killed somebody or something like that. So, mind telling me how you three reached this...arrangement?"

Well hearing that made the look on her face ease up some more knowing that I'm not exactly judging her and her friends in their choice of lifestyle as she continues delving into their backstory by adding "Well it kinda goes like this, the three of us have been friends ever since we were little kids. We went to elementary school, middle school, high school, and we were even attending the same community college together before moving here. And I guess that over the years, our friendship kinda grew into something well...more. I guess it all came to full force during an after high school graduation party where our feelings for one another just came out. I was kinda expecting Eria to be the one who brought it out since she's more or less the bravest out of all three of us, but in reality it was Wynn who came out first. I really don't like admitting this, but I can't deny it either: Wynn is...well, she's pretty much afraid of almost everything, and for her to gather up that much courage to confess her feelings about how she loved both me and Eria and didn't want to have to choose, it wasn't just surprising, it was genuine and heartfelt coming from her. I mean of course the three of us knew that we all couldn't be married to one another at the same time, but we did sorta find a way around it, which kinda leads to the relationship we have today. I love both of them, and they love me just as much as I do them. So until the day we can find a way for all three of us to be married to one another legally, "friends with benefits" is gonna be as close to that as we can get."

Sweet Primus, that just blew my mind. Technically I could fill 'em in on the whole Warper secret now so they could be together legally under Warper law, but having to deal with the local governments was gonna be a problem until my plan reached a certain point in the future. I guess for right now, I only had one thing to say to her: "Go to them, Lyna. Embrace them."

She just looks at me surprised, like what she told me wasn't at the very least shocking to a normal person.

"Y-you're okay with all this? I mean, I just told you that me and your other two maids are in a relationship. A technically non-official according to social norms, poly-amorous, homosexual relationship where all three of us have sex...with one another all at the same time...sometimes when you're away for the day dealing with your work in the city...and you're okay with it? Like, you aren't going to persecute and or fire us because of it?"

I put my hand on her shoulder and firmly respond "Lyna, from what I just heard, the way you feel about your friends isn't just genuine, but I know for a fact that unless a romance is poisonous for either one or all parties involved, then it should be accepted no matter what others might say. Now go to them. Go to them and show them that the love they give to you is returned with your love for them in spades. I'll even give you guys a few days off next week so you can enjoy yourselves fully in Tokyo 2."

That's when she pulls me in for a hug and happily replies "Thank you so much, sir. I'll tell Wynn and Eria about this as soon as they wake up."

"You're very welcome. Now then, I gotta take care of something in town, but I'll be back in time for breakfast."

"Really? They're calling you in this early in the morning?"

"The price I pay for dealing with a government job."

I didn't really have to deal with NERV, I just wanted to get in a little bit more training before the third Angel showed up and the events of the canon began to unfold. It was finally time to put my plan into action. With SEELE gone, Gendo wasn't gonna win this time. And with what I have in store for this timeline, I was gonna make damn well sure of it.

 _(Ending Theme: "Into Blue Skies" by Masayuki Tanaka* (*= ending theme subject to change depending on episode. Yeah, we're taking the Heisei era Kamen Rider from Ryuki onward approach with this one.)_

 **(Current Power Levels (I'm probably only gonna be doing this up until the fight against Zeruel since I think by that point, power levels will have lost all meaning. And if you're wondering why the Dai Gurren power levels are as high as they are, well I have a bit of a theory on that: being inside of a Gunman unit exposes the pilot to a significant amount of Spiral Energy, which can remain dormant inside of the pilot's body until they can learn to use it without the use of a Gunman. So in theory, the mechs that our favorite Gurren Lagann characters have been using for the whole show pretty much act like giant Zenkai boosters. for comparisons, I would estimate by the time of his final battle with Simon and Nia, Lord Genome would have probably had a power level somewhere in the 3 to 19,000,000 range.)**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 112,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 784,000 at x7)**

 **Mura Tenin: 3,125,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: ?**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Simon the Digger: 2,350,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 7,050,000 at x3)**

 **Yoko Littner: 438,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 1,314,000 at x3)**

 **Nia Tepplin: 1,001,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 3,003,000 at x3)**

 **Viral: 2,348,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 7,044,000 at x3)**

 **Gimmy: 219,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 657,000 at x3)**

 **Darry: 210,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 630,000 at x3)**

 **Kitan: 891,500 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 2,674,500 at x3)**

 **Cherrie (Natalie) Rose Loveless: I'd estimate somewhere in between the 20,000,000 and 150,000,000 range**

 **"Merch": I'm gonna say somewhere in the 50-100,000,000 range**

 **Rick Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): at least 3,000**

 **Morty Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): at least 500**

 **Jerry Smith (Warper Tribunal): 4 (1,000,000 with Atlas Paladin mech suit)/ 0 (Status: deceased, reward claimed)**

 **Gunmen Drones: 3,000,000 each**

 **Gunmen Drone Commander: 10,000,000**

 **B-1 Battle Droids: 100 each**

 **B-2 Super Battle Droids: 250 each**

 **Destroyer/Droideka Droids: 500 each (1000 with shields up)**

 **Magnaguard Droids: 1250 each**

 **Others to Come: ?**

 **(Author's Note: I just wanna go on the record and say that the stuff at Rick's house and on Merch's ship take place shortly before Ryker and Elvin's final battle in Steven Universe Blackthorned, so if there's no mention of (spoiler alert) Dill's assassination by Genevieve Blackthorn II, the creation of the Fusion Force, or the bounties on the members of the Crystal Squadron, then that's why. Next time: the canon events finally come into play, but how will Bishops' presence change the events to come, stay tuned. So until next time, DSX62415, out.)**


	5. Canon (finally) Begins

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 5: Canon (finally) Begins/Join (in) the Fight, Shinji**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **August 2015. Zero Hour.** Sachiel AKA, the third Angel was going to make its presence known after the world had 15 years to rebuild from the mistakes of the past...and I forgot to hook up the JSDF with the weapon upgrades I wanted to give to them in time. Crap. Anything the army could throw at the freakalope, it threw back two fold, swatting VTOLs out of the air like it was nothing. And where was I in all this? Racing down an empty road with Misato in the backseat of her car on our way to pick up Shinji, which the camera crew thought would be a good time to actually check in on him.

 **(POV Shift: Shinji Ikari EVA-12385267)**

"We're sorry, but due to the state of emergency issued by the government, all non-esential phone lines around the Tokyo 3 area have been temporarily disabled. Please hang up and try again once the situation has been dealt with. Goodbye."

"Seriously? This is what Aunt Miyako and Uncle Keiji's tax Yen are paying for? It's times like this that I'm actually glad that we're not even in the country most of the time. Although, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take it easy and just stay in the country once in a while. I mean traveling around and scavenging the treasures left behind by Second Impact's fine and dandy and all, but it can get pretty tiring from time to time."

I then take out a torn in two piece of paper taped back together that read the following:

 **"Dear Boy,**

 **The time has come for us to meet face to face. Report to Tokyo 3 at once where Major Misato Katsuragi will bring you directly to me.**

 **Your Father"**

"If that rat bastard thinks he can win me over after all these years by getting some broad to show a little skin, he's got another thing coming. I don't mean any disrespect towards Grandma Shiki, but first chance I get, I'm giving that sumbyatch what for."

I eventually sigh before saying "Talking to myself, I am closer than ever to hitting rock bottom."

Just then, another squad of VTOLs whooshes above me as I look in the other direction, only to come in contact with something big, destructive and ugly.

"What the hell is that thing?!"

I can only witness Sachiel bring down the aircraft like they were nothing, inching ever closer to my location until my hopefully saving grace comes screeching to the rescue. Then some guy with a purple haired broad at the wheel open the passenger side door and says "Shinji Ikari, come with us if you want to live."

"Since this is kind of a do or die situation, I'm gonna let that stupid "Terminator 2" joke slide."

 **(POV Shift: Me)**

Next thing we know, we're barreling down the abandoned roads doing at least 65 as Misato and I start filling the boy in on some of the major details.

"Alright, 1: who the hell are you people? And 2: what in the name of whatever was that thing?"

Which I reply "1: I'm Desmond Bishops and the person driving is Misato Katsuragi, we work for the same agency as your father. And 2, the giant freak of nature you saw is what's technically refered to by NERV as an "Angel", though I wanted to call them something better like "Apostalos", "Kaiju" or "Giant Ass Freaks of Nature".

To which Misato adds "Which I was all for. Basically, our whole deal is to bring down guys like that in order to keep the world safe. Oh, I almost forgot."

She then takes her eyes off the road to hand Shinji the handbook you see him read during most of episode 1 before saying "You might wanna read through that, considering that it just might help explain things a little bit better."

"Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!"

"Sorry."

Note to self: never get in a car with Misato behind the wheel ever again. At least the rest of the ride was smooth enough...at least until we got to the part involving the N2 missile. Bruised and battered with Misato's car taking the brunt of it, we finally make our way into the GeoFront.

"Uh, quick question: why are there buildings hanging from the roof?"

My answer: "Tokyo 3 was designed with defensive measures that clear out buildings by placing them underground in order to avoid unnecessary colateral damage. Don't worry, you'll get used to seeing it."

A few moments and a tram ride later, and the three of us come face to face with Dr. Akagi, complete with the same blueish green one piece and snorkeling gear as anime canon.

"There you three are. What the hell took you so long?"

Which I reply to by saying "Well excuse us for not wanting to turned into thermonuclear vapor at the hands of a goddamn N2 missile. Who in their right mind gave that order while I was away?"

"Well, with you gone, Commander Ikari kind of saw it fit to well...give orders in your absence."

Of course it was that asshole.

"Remind me to really give him what for once this is all over."

She turns her attention to Shinji before going "So this is the third child, huh? It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Please tell me that you're the one who's gonna tell me just what is going on here."

"There will be time for that later. Right now, we need to get you to the main hangar area."

From there, it's a mad dash to the main hangar as the four of us come face to partially obstructed face with Unit 01 itself. You'd think you'd get the canon response to this out of Shinji, but surprisingly, I didn't.

"Alright, this is the final straw. Somebody needs to tell me why the fuck there's a freaking giant robot looking thing down here, why we're under attack by some three clawed freak of nature, and exactly what the fuck is going on right now. You people keep telling me that I'm supposed to be here for a reason, and once again when I ask about it, I get left in the dark. It's really starting to piss me off!"

To which Misato responds "What we're looking at is our best shot against the Angels: the bio-mechanical combat machine, Evangelion Unit 01."

"A machine which you will pilot."

We all turn around to see Gendo in all of his smug assed-ness staring down at us like we were nothing.

"Hello, boy."

Oh, he was so gonna get it when I was done with him.

"You think that just because I'm not here directly that you can give the order to launch an N2 missile without my permission? When this is over, you and I are going to have a long, violent talk about this."

"I did what was neccessary to halt the Angel's approach into the city."

Shinji decides to join in the conversation by adding "Alright old man, you somehow managed to get me to come here, so what do you want?"

"Thanks to our mutual nemesis on the surface, I finally have some need of your service. As much as I hate to admit it, you are the only person truly capable of piloting this machine into combat, and therefore are ordered by NERV and the Japanese government to combat this threat at once."

You know, I really should stop expecting the canon responses from this Shinji by this point, because what happened next would probably throw any Evangelion fan by surprise.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. Hold on a minute. You expect me to step into that lumbering behemoth and fight a gigantic Eldrich abomination with zero combat training, zero experience, and a bare bones 9th Grade level education? You seriously expect me to do what you say after you **left me for dead at a train station when I was just three years old without ANY sign of remorse for the last ELEVEN YEARS, and act like nothing ever happened and everything between us is just peachy keen?"**

Of course I knew that this was the plan the whole time, but even I had to act surprised about this.

"Let me get this straight, this was the actual plan the whole time and not some sort of sick joke formed by you? You actually want to put the fate of the world in the hands of an untrained, inexperienced minor by forcing him to do things that would technically be qualified as violations of both Child Labor and Child Soldier laws and you two are okay with this?"

Let me describe my next course of action like this: you know that one scene in the first Guardians of the Galaxy where Rocket Raccoon just laughs off Star Lord for not really having a plan to stop Ronan and his Infinity Stone? Well my reaction to this is pretty much the same as his, only after Shinji joined in for a short while, I instantly blurt out loud and clear **"YOU PEOPLE ARE MOTHERFUCKING INSANE!"**

"Thank you! Finally, someone who makes sense in this goddamn madhouse!"

"You dare forsake humanity?"

"No, you forsoke humanity when you thought it was a good idea to fight giant monsters using untrained child labor! Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

"Why you ungrateful little..."

Okay, time for me to step in before Gendo makes things worse!

"Stand down, "Commander"! I think you've already done enough damage as is!"

I quickly stop Shinji before he can reach the elevator door before throwing him an offer he can't possibly refuse.

"Hold it. Look kid, believe me when I say that these people are possibly criminally insane, and right now, I wouldn't trust 'em as far as I can throw 'em, but as asinine as it sounds, you really are the only person who can properly use that thing to take down that giant freak of nature out there."

"Try and butter me up all you want, I ain't risking my life for that douchebag."

"What if I were able to make it truly worth your while? And besides, it's either you or the other pilot they have on staff, and she's really in no shape to be doing anything for a long time."

That's when I take out my phone and show him camera footage of Rei in her hospital bed with medics on standby to have her wheeled into the hangar. Right down from the moment I saw him, I had a hunch that he was a sucker for a girl in distress, and for once during this whole charade, I was right on what the expected results were.

"Alright fine, but if you're gonna make it worth risking my ass out there, you better have something real good to offer up."

A few moments of negotiations later and Shinji returns to face the others.

"I don't know how, but by some miracle, this guy convinced me to fight alongside you guys...at a cost."

Leading Misato to ask "What do you mean 'cost'."

"25,000,000 Yen a **week** plus an additional 15,000,000 for every deployment along with an additional 10,000,000 for every confirmed kill, totalling at maximum $5,000,000 American and 2.5 Million dollars at minimum."

"Why you little brat, you think that you can make us pay you to..."

"What did I just say, Ikari? These payments were negotiated between your son and myself, meaning that you have no say in the matter as it now seems that I have to remind you of this fact, **I outrank you**. Meaning that if you have problems with how I run things, you can just pack up your office and get out!"

I didn't need supersanity to know that I had him beaten...again.

"Grrrrrr! Get the pilot ready for deployment, now!"

"Alright kid, when you get inside of the cockpit, some things are gonna happen, and that's perfectly normal. If you start to freak out about the thing filling up with orange Tang like liquid, don't, that stuff's fully breathable and it's supposed to I think help you control the EVA or something. And if you need any help, I'll be able to give you some assitance from the sidelines."

"This better be worth what I'm getting paid for."

The whole system boot up sequence goes just like in canon with Shinji having a Synch Rate of 28.3%. But as he was getting ready to be launched into the fight against Sachiel, I could sense another malevolent energy signature in the city, and a pretty strong one at that. I had to make up an excuse to get out there, and I had to do it quick.

"I need to take care of our new pilot's contract with us. Katsuragi, I begrudgingly had control over the field to you. Hyuga, Ibuki, Aoba, help Shinji in any way possible. And Ikari, try not to dig a deeper hole for yourself while I'm gone. One more instance of throwing your supposed weight around, and you'll be on latrine duty for the **next year.** "

I can only imagine Gendo seething with rage and hatred of me as I rush out of the room and summon my new set of armor through the watch Merch gave me. Thankfully once I was in costume and in the center of town, all of the civilians had been evacuated into emergency shelters. And that's when I came face to face with the source of the energy signature, right in front of the gigantic bird masked freakalope.

"Who dares to interfere with the destrution of the Lilim brought forth by my master Sachiel, Angel of the tides?"

"The guy who's gonna bring you down and stop your giant friend from trashing my planet, that's who. Now, permit me to ask who the hell you are so I know who I'm thrashing."

"I am the herald of Sachiel, Angel of the tides. The Lilim in this city are holding our mother, Lilith hostage down below. We are here to liberate her so that we may wreak vengance on the ingrateful Lilim scourge that imprisoned her here by destroying their world."

"Yeah, well while your big friend deals with a friend of mine, if you want to get to Lilith, you'll have to go through me first."

"That can be arranged."

 _ **(Track Change: "Goku Vs Jeice & Burtur Theme (Bruce Faulconer and Crew Version)")**_

If Power Rangers has taught me one thing in this lifetime, it's "take down the human sized monster, then take 'em down again when they grow to the size of a large skyscraper", so I charge in with Ultimate Rising Titan Sword drawn to go in for a downward slash, only for the herald to block the blade with a pair of elbow mounted bone blades of its own before sending me backwards. That's when the smaller beak faced bastard charges at me and manages to get a slash in, hitting my chest plate before I kick him back.

"Hey! Do you have any idea how much an armored combat suit like this cost?!"

"Your concerns over costumery and trade goods are the least of your worries, Lilim filth. Prepare to be annihilated."

So that's how he wants it to go down. Well my answer to that is bring it on! But before I just try charging in blindly again, maybe I oughta do my research on this guy. Thank Primus that the helmet of this suit came with a built in Scouter with a high power level limit so I could get a proper reading on this guy and assess my battle plan.

"Hmmmm, fascinating."

"What are you saying, fool?"

"Well it's like this: I happen to have a way of determining just how strong my opponent is, and according to it, your big ugly friend who's fighting with the giant purple monster happens to be about as strong as my mentor when she first started training me in combat. You on the other hand happen to only be less than half of what big boy is. Therefore, I should still be able to beat you without really overexerting myself too much."

"You really believe that you can still defeat me? I scoff at your assumptions!"

"How about I prove it to you, right here, right now."

 _ **(Track Change: "Red Desire" by Masayuki Tanaka- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)**_

"First I'll tap into the power of the Kaio Ken! And to make it a proper warm up, I'll start by going to x3!"

The crimson Ki surge surrounds me as I fly into the air and charge up an attack.

"Next I'll combine it with something I like to call **"Dai Gurren Thunder Ball"!** "

I charge up two orbs of blue-ish white Spiral Ki, each of them surging with Bio-Electricity all around them before I combine them into a singular sphere and shoot it down towards the "herald" as it envelops it. Did it work? Well, yes and no. No because of the fact that the thing was still alive, but yes because it was kinda dinged up. Of course that didn't stop me from trying to keep the heat on it as I charge in amping up the amplification to x5 and going in for a swift series of punches, kicks and chops that seemed to be doing their job...that is until the freakalope flared up its Ki (how it has it and knows how to use it, I'll probably never know), nailed me with a hammer arm and a side jackknife kick that sent me flying into a nearby building...right when Unit 01 was thrown into it by the big Sachiel.

"I'm getting my ass handed to me out here with just this stupid knife! Can't you guys give me something that could really do some damage, like oh, I don't know, a sword, some sort of laser gun, or something better than just a stupid giant bowie knife?"

"You'll use what you're given until you have been properly trained in firearms, boy."

"Did I ask for your opinion, you child abandoning jackass?!"

"Grrrrr. Fuyustuki, remind me to strangle the boy when this is all said and done."

"Sir, I don't believe that is a good idea. After all, he is..."

"Shut up."

If I wasn't mistaken, the building that Shinji crashed into and caused the debris to fall on me was supposed to be the home of Toji and Sakura Suzuhara, but thing was unlike canon, **I couldn't sense their Ki signatures in the entire building...at all.** So if the building falling down wasn't gonna be the cause of Sakura's injuries, than what was? I could think about this later, considering that this was the part of the canon fight where Unit 01 was about to go berserk for the first time, meaning that if Shinji needed my help then, he's gonna need it more than ever now. Focusing on trying to open a telepathic communications channel with the third child, I finally manage to get through as I say "Kid. Hey kid, can you hear me?"

"Yeah I can hear you, and where the hell have you been? Weren't you supposed to oh, I don't know...help me beat this thing?!"

"Yes, I'm aware of that, but let's just say something came up involving some sort of vigilante fighting a more human sized monster that was apparently accompanying our big ugly ass friend you're fighting."

"And this affects the whole situation between us how?"

"Look, Once big, ugly and beak faced starts stabbing your EVA's left eye, it's gonna start moving on its own. What I want you to do is just let it do what it's gonna do while our vigilante friend deals with the Angel's human sized buddy. Got it?"

"That's your idea of helping?"

"Just trust me, I know what I'm doing."

Sachiel starts jabbing on of its elbow spikes into Unit 01's left eye until it finally goes berserk like in canon. And while those two fight it out like they do in canon, I quickly notice that its herald started charging up Ki to increase its power level for possibly one final attack to finish me off. I knew that I had to wrap this up quick, and at this rate, I'd have to do something drastic.

"This is your end, pathetic Lilim!"

"I don't know what you're planning, but whatever it is, I'm putting an end to it here and now. Here I go, **Kaio Ken x12!** "

With as much of my strength as I can muster, I throw in my endgame by charging towards the herald while charging as much Spiral Ki as possible into my right fist. And with one shout of "Finishing Move: Neurtrino Knuckle!", this fight was over as Sachiel's herald falls backwards and explodes behind me. Now all that was left was for me to bring down his big friend before my body completely shuts down on me due to the Kaio Ken's strain. I quickly summon my Anti AT Field shooting Unmaker using my watch's weapon spawning function and fly towards the freak of nature, and just in time as it was getting ready to glob onto Unit 01 and do its canon self destruct attack. One shot, that's all I needed to bring it down right before it could put its endgame into action as I kick it into the air before firing off a single shot from my Unmaker and making sure NERV couldn't get their hands on the remains with a well timed Galic Gun in mid air. Now all that was really left to do was tie up the loose ends.

"You still alive in there, kid?"

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

"Hey, my plan worked, didn't it? Now listen, I kinda need you to do one last little job: you think you can fake being knocked out and not remembering what happened out there?"

"You got to be kidding me."

"I'll throw in another $100,000."

"Alright, you got a deal."

Well, one bunch of pointless crap that doesn't need to be explained later, and I'm back inside NERV HQ in my normal garb approaching the bridge. Once I'm in, I quickly go towards Musashi and go "Sorry about taking so long, when I was going to get the contract papers, I somehow wound up becoming part of the straggler sensory sweep group. What'd I miss?"

"I took the liberty of having the bridge crew record the fight in case you wanted to have a meeting about the situations involved."

"Where would I be without you? Also, you wouldn't know a better way into the document area, would you? There's no way in hell I'm going back the way I did the first time."

"I'll be more than happy to escort you personally, sir."

Another batch of paperwork and a debriefing of the mission later, and I'm finally back home, near completely exhausted even with the use of a Senzu bean. Right now, all I wanted to really do was just sit down, kick back, relax and catch up on Steven Universe Blackthorned's season 3 finale. My chances for relaxation though were halted when a certain magenta head comes through my door with papers in tow.

"I'm guessing one of the maids let you in?"

"Yes sir, the green haired one."

"Well, since you took the time to come visit me at home, what can I help you with?"

"Well I was going over some of the papers that you'll need to sign off on for the third child's contract, and I noticed a little something unusual."

"And that would be?"

"Well, according to these papers regarding his first payment, and according to the numbers, we have his first payment set to 51,000,000 Yen, a million more than what we would be paying him for his deployment and successful kill of the Angel."

"Oh that. Well since we kinda sent him out there with let me remind you **zero combat experience or formal training** , it only seemed fair to add a little bonus for his troubles."

"As admirable as that is, we really should consider renegotiating these terms for a smaller rate, otherwise this could possibly bankrupt not just the city, but the entire nation as a whole."

"Ms. Musashi, while you do make a decent point, I should at least try and get you to see things from the boy's perspective. I mean think about it: if you were thrust into the front lines of a war that you didn't create without even the most basic form of training to fight what could only be considered to be an Eldrich abomination on steroids, PEDs, and possibly Smack, wouldn't you want a pretty high price tag for your services?"

"Well, yes, but that still..."

"If it makes you feel better, I will talk to Mr. Ikari and try and renegotiate his prices the next time I have a chance to talk to him personally. Does that sound good to you?"

She knows when she's beat as she replies "Well, I suppose that's the best I can hope for right now. Thank you for taking it into consideration, sir."

"Well considering that we actually kinda need the city to fight these guys, I suppose it's the very least I can do to give us at least a fighting chance."

She leaves the room with a sense of security while I finally get to turn on the TV. Switching to the interdimensional feed, I wind up finding a news channel that I could actually get behind, and what they were reporting on was something that I seriously deserved to know as Warper versions of Whis and Beerus from Dragon Ball Super disclose the info.

"Continuing our coverage of our top story, in light of recent revelations of involvement with the Frost family along with numerous crimes which violate the Warper Law of Neutrality, elite council member Rebecca Dill has not only been removed from her position, but as of our most recent development, has been assassinated in her home on planet Shin Vega.

I swear that I could hear people behind the camera cheering for that announcement while I think a Warper version of Universe 6 Saiyan Cabba shouts out "Ding Dong, the wicked witch is dead!"

"It's about time! The nerve of that pathetic ex-Time Patrol member, trying to fine me for doing my job of destroying worlds. You don't fine a destroyer for destroying, Whis. It's just not done. I'm surprised that a Supreme Kai of Time was even willing to work with her for so long."

"I know, my lord. At least elite council members Kris and Katsumi were willing to contest the fines so you won't have to pay. Plus that version of lady Chronoa was completely unaware of Dill's crimes until after they were revealed to the public."

"They better make it that way, otherwise they'll be hearing from my attorney."

"Moving on, according to the most recent season finale of Steven Universe Blackthorned, the person responsible for Dill's death is confirmed to be one Genevieve Blackthorn II, one of the younger members of the legendary Blackthorn clan."

"Seems appropriate despite me being the one who claimed the reward on that Saiyan brat's head. After all, it's no secret that Blackthorns aren't well known for being Dill supporters. How old is she anyway? I doubt that she's any older than Ryker."

"I believe that she's currently 16, my lord."

"My, those Blackthorns just keep managing to churn out prominent Warpers who make their marks earlier and earlier in their lives, don't they?"

"Well, considering that elite councilwoman Katsumi is only 15, that statement wouldn't be so much of a lie, now would it?"

I swear, I almost crack up laughing when Beerus spits out his coffee from hearing about this girl's age.

"What?! 15 years old?! We're actually letting a teenager deal with the affairs of the Multiverse?!

"Now now, she's been doing a very fine job for those affected by Dill's actions, even offering a formal apology to former elite councilwoman Chronoa by contributing sizable contributions to her timeline's version of the Time Patrol. She's even been offering reparations for those who were effected by Elvin Frost's tyranny a chance to gain at least some form of restitution."

"Well that's all fine and dandy, but what about the shmucks like me who got screwed over by Dill and not the Frost family?"

"I was getting to that. Now then, in light of the revelations of crimes committed across Warper-kind done by the former elite council member, WNN has teamed up with the Order of Reality to set up a web page to help Warpers affected gain the proper restitution they deserve. Simply go to the link on the WNN homepage and enter your name to see if you qualify for reparations from the Dill estate on planet Shin Vega."

"I better be on that list, Whis."

"One can only hope, lord Beerus. One can only hope. Still to come this hour, we have our interview with that upstart batch of Warpers from the Total Drama timelines that managed to bring down a Patrick Star horde along with the versions of Susan and Mary Test responsible for their creation. That and more after this word form our sponsors."

Of course there was at least one corrupt politician in that group, and I always had a hunch that it was her. Being the ever curious being that I am, I had to see if she somehow screwed me over in some way. I grab my phone from the sofa cushion next to me as I almost instantly go straight to the link on WNN's website and enter my name in the box before hitting enter and seeing the results.

 **List of all Warper on Warper Crimes Committed by Rebecca Dill on Desmond Bishops**

 **Unregistered and Unwarranted Surveilance**

 **Bounty Rigging**

 **Unwarranted Order of Assassination**

 **Theft of Mail Order Warper Goods**

 **Eligible for Reparation Rewards from Dill Estate of Shin Vega**

 **She was spying on me, AND was stealing my Warp Crates?!** I am now very much happy that she's dead. Well, if she tried to screw me over, I might as well get even by taking some of her stuff. Now, normally I'd just use my portal gun to go where I wanna go, but there was kinda one problem with that: **the dead thorn in my side set up an anti-portal gun field around the planet that the Order hasn't been able to crack yet.** This only left me with one option that I've only so far practiced with making smaller tests that I couldn't completely fit through: make my own portal to get there. Readying myself for whatever comes, I get into position and start circling my right arm in the same style as the sorcerers from the MCU Doctor Strange movie while focusing my Flames of Creation to making a gateway to my destination: planet Shin Vega. I find myself in some sort of beach-y landscape in front of a large cliff, taking in my surroundings and trying to figure out if I actually went to where I wanted to go until I'm met by the face of someone I instinctively knew not to mess with.

"Let me guess, you were one of the many Warpers screwed over by Dill and you're looking for a little payback."

I can't really explain how, but for some reason, this one girl who's probably no more than her late teens (at least by Gundam Build Fighters Try, Senran Kagura, or Ikki Tousen standards) somehow has me, a grown ass man intimidated by sheer prescience alone **(and no, not like that. Get your heads out of the gutter!)**. I swear, it was like she was drilling the point of "do not cross me" into my skull with just her stare.

"Uh, yes, ma'm."

To which she replies "Well, you wouldn't be the first one to show up. Follow me and I can get you to the line at the Dill estate. If you can deal with a fairly long line, you'll get your dues. I just need your name first."

"Desmond Bishops, ma'm."

That's when she pulls up a list of names on a tablet before responding "Ah, here you are. Follow me."

A few moments of flying later, and we manage to land in front of a gigantic mansion with a huge line at the front gate.

"Alright, if you wait at the back of the line, you'll get your dues. Shouldn't be any more than like, 30 to 45 minutes. Think you can handle that?"

"That'll be perfectly fine. Thank you for your assistance, Ms...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Genevieve Blackthorn Jr., you may call me "Evie"."

I was being starred down and escorted by the same person that iced that jerk wad Dill, no wonder she had that level of intimidation on me. About 38 minutes of waiting in line later, and I find myself at the front of the line in front of elite council member Katsumi, and let just say this now: she has a higher intimidation factor than Evie.

"Ah, Mr. Bishops. A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance."

"In all due respect, the honor is mine, Ms. Councilwoman, ma'm."

"Now then, is there anything in particular you had in mind of claiming from Dill's estate?"

"You know, I haven't really thought about it quite yet. She wouldn't happen to have anything like a collection of swords or pilotable mechs still lying around, or have all those been claimed?"

Katsumi then pulls up some listings on a tablet of her own before replying "Actually, you're in luck. If you follow me, I can escort you to their locations."

"Lead the way, Ms. Councilwoman."

Our first stop: one of the armory vaults on the 4th floor where I ultimately decide on grabbing a few Phantoblades from Winx Club along with stuff like a couple High Frequency Blades from Metal Gear Rising and a version of Black Luster Soldier's sword from Yu-Gi-Oh. Hey, say what you want about Winx Club, at least it came up with some pretty cool looking weapons for the characters who couldn't do magic. Next stop: one of Dill's sub basement levels housing a surprising amount of pilotable mechs ranging from Arms Slaves from Full Metal Panic, some major villain Mobile Suits, various Knightmare Frames from Code Geass, hell, even some Transformers that looked like they could be piloted. As much as I loved the Gundam series, I was gravitating towards the Cybertronian options that I had as I asked "That tablet wouldn't happen to have a list of these Transformers that haven't been claimed yet, would it?"

Well, that was pretty stupid of me to ask as she pulls up the list and replies "It looks like your options are limited to Tranzector versions of Armada Dirge, Transmetal Tarantulus, Animated Skywarp, G1 versions of Thundercracker and Demolisher, Robots in Disguise 2001 Nemesis Prime, Surprisingly Bayverse Nitro Zeus and Transmetal Waspinator, and Cybertron Vector Prime."

"Not gonna lie, I'm actually kinda surprised that she has an Autobot member of the 13 original Primes in with all these Decepticons and Predacons as opposed to like maybe 2015's version of the Fallen. I mean that design does look a lot better than the Michael Bay version by a long shot."

Her answer for me: "I'd say she probably has it around just because Vector Prime's main power is supposedly to travel in between time and space, pretty much making a pilotable version of it a viable transport for Warpers looking to bring home large amounts of goods from another dimension. I wouldn't be surprised if she used it back during her days in the Time Patrol to haul the rest of the Zangyaku around to cause mischief."

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't put it against her. Alright, I'll take the Vector Prime, and are those versions of Shin Knight Gundam and the Lancelot Albion claimed?"

Katsumi then spawns three sets of keys from her tablet before tossing them to me and saying "All yours. Would you like them placed in capsules for easy storage?"

"You know what, sure, why not?"

A few moments later, and I have a small container of Capsule Corp. capsules containing everything I claimed.

"Alright, I think I've managed to take enough of her stuff in order to get even. Thank you for this opportunity, Ms. Blackthorn."

She replies "You're welcome, and I would like to personally extend an apology on behalf of myself and the entire Order of Reality for failing to act on Dill's actions before it was too late."

"I guess it isn't entirely the fault of the Order. After all, she was hiding behind her diplomatic immunity after she somehow rose to power in order to cover her ass for crimes committed during her time with the Time Patrol along with Kris. The only thing that separates the two of them is that he was actually willing to try and fix the damage done, albeit a bit too late of an act."

"We were all too late to act before things went too far. The only thing we can do now is fix as much of the damage as possible and try and repair relations with those affected by her wrong doings."

"Well I'd say that this is at least a decent start."

After some more pleasantries and an invitation to meet the rest of the clan at some unknown future date, I finally make my way home and ready to store the capsule-fied items I had obtained. After stowing them inside of the GARD, I saw that it was already sundown, which might have proved my theory about time flowing faster or slower depending on which timeline you wind up in. With that in mind, I might as well check in on Misato and Shinji since they'd most likely be overlooking the city like they did in episode 2 by this point.

"Not too bad a place to try and convince a warrior what they're fighting for, isn't it?"

The two of them turn to see me before I get greeted with Misato responding to me "It was a stretch, but I figured I'd at least try to get Shinji to have some bond with the city, considering that he's gonna be living here for a while."

Shinji's response may have been a bit sharp and to the point, but it did sound sincere: "I'll admit that it's having a little bit of an effect on me, but I'm still only in this for the money we agreed on. So, what brings you here?"

I answer "I actually came here to deliver your first paycheck as a personal thank you for even doing this in the first place." before handing him his first 5.1 million big ones.

Shinji responds "How touching." before taking the check from me.

The three of us just stared at the sundown covered city as I start formulating the next stage of my plan for this world. There was gonna be a 30 day gap between this fight and the canon events of episode 3, hopefully more than enough time for me to properly put the pieces in place and start Shinji's training. Toji and Sakura's involvement would have to wait for now, but as far as I saw it, thing were going fairly smoothly at the moment.

 _(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)_

 **(Current Power Levels**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 178,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 1,602,000 at x9)**

 **Mura Tenin: 3,141,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: 6/406* (post Sachiel fight) (*= Power level and Ki use unavailable due to lack of training and only being a level 3 Warper)**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Jessaline Musashi: 6**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 519* (Rei clones are born with a base power level of 100 due to their mixture of human and Angel DNA and grow in power the longer they are inside their giant LCL tank. Rei III and possible other future clones will be more powerful upon release due to this factor. Ki use also unavailable due to the same reasons as Shinji.)**

 **Ritusko Akagi: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Mokoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Fuyutsuki: 4**

 **Sachiel: 1,250,000 (human sized Kaijin)/3,000,000 (actual Angel itself**

 **EVA Unit 01: 1,000,000 (Synch Rate: 28.3%)/4,500,000 (Berserker Mode)**

 **Rick Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): around 75,000,000**

 **Morty Sanchez (Earth Dimension C-137-AU2): 67,000**

 **Katsumi Blackthorn II: 10,000,000 (base)**

 **Genevieve** **Blackthorn Jr.: 35,000,000 (base)**

 **Others to Come: ?**

 **(Author's Note: I owe you guys a major apology for how long it took for this to get out, I've been having some internet problems since like, January, there was a lot of stuff going on in real life, and I just couldn't get this out until now. I hope to rectify the situation in the future as I work on re writing what was accidentally deleted of the rough drafts I had that went up to the altered canon of episode 5. Also in order to keep people in the loop of events, just like how episode 4 took place before the Ryker VS Elvin fight in "Steven Universe Blackthorned", this episode takes place during the fight and somewhat during the 1st episode of that story's fourth season. So if you've read the second chapter of Yoshi3000's "A Blackthorn's Rasphody" and are wondering why the planet Shin Vega's still around, that's why. Next episode's gonna be a little different since there would still be a week before the events of episode 3 would take place, so I kinda wanna fill out that time (or at least some of it anyway). So until next time, DSX62415, out.)**


	6. Killing Time (before) Episode 3

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 6: Yes, We're (really) Doing a Rick and Morty Parody/Killing Time (before) Episode 3's Canon**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **Ah, morning after the canon events of episode 2, I had 30 days to have Shinji properly trained in the art of Warping, plenty of time to train for myself in order to really get the most out of the Kaio Ken, and what better way to get geared up for it than by watching the season 3 finale of Steven Universe Blackthorned.** Seeing Ryker and his team inspired me to form my own team , but I couldn't really do it just yet.

"Well well well, looks like someone is fired up."

I turn around to see Mura in the open frame of the penthouse porch window with a look of determination on her face.

"What brings you here? I thought you were helping the Dai Gurrens with their training."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that I can't keep tabs on you to make sure you haven't been letting up on your training. I saw your little fight with that human sized Angel monster, and I have to say that you did fairly well. However, there's still room for improvement out of you, so what say you we head to whatever place you hid your GARD and we can get started with a good old sparring session?"

My response: "Alright, just let me get on my training gear first."

30 minutes later and we're at it just like old times, only now it's under 15x Earth's gravity...and she's still managing to kick my ass even with my max safe Kaio Ken being 10x. I considered going to a higher amplification in order to match her level of strength, but she managed to stop me from doing that quickly with some swift strikes and some choice words.

"I already know what you're planning, and quite frankly, I don't approve. Going beyond your maximum safe amplification may be worth it for a short time, but it's also an extremely high risk that could destroy your body in the process. You may have Saiyan and Spiral DNA, but I know for sure that part of you is still human, and that part of you has to acknowledge the risks that come with it, always thinking about what would happen if you run out of Senzu beans or healing items that reduce the risk before you can even finish a fight, always thinking about the possibilities of being torn asunder by your own power, or worse. If you don't stop relying on such a dangerous tactic, you'll never be able to go beyond what you are now."

After a combination of blows, I'm on my ass realizing that she was right. I may have alien space ape DNA fused with energy fueled by the same power source you expect from the green lantern corp, but I was still at the very least 1/3 human. That part of me still had limits, but if I couldn't go beyond them, then I really shouldn't even be here in the first place. I manage to get up to my feet as I feel a sudden surge of power within me and respond to her words "I may still have a human part of me with its own set of limits, but if I've learned anything from these last few months, it's that limits were meant to be broken. And I'm going to break through those limits right now!"

With one mighty shout, I can feel myself changing. Well apparently I left Mura in a state of shock at this as she responds to me "Holy crap, you can turn into a False Super Saiyan now!"

"False Super Saiyan"...where have I heard that before? I head towards a nearby mirror to see that my appearance had taken on a near Super Saiyan like quality. My Ki field had shifted from green to an yellow green mixed with elements of goldenrod and my hair had been spiked up to normal Super Saiyan quality, except that it was still my natural dark brown with only light traces of greenish yellow. Needless to say, I was pretty surprised myself.

"Okay, this is new...and I gotta say that I'm liking it so far. Now then, how about we get back down to business?"

Mura's reply: "Game on, kid. Don't hold back."

A solid 2 hours of sparing later with most of our matches ending in either her beating me or in stalemates, and the two of us were sitting down on the GARD's floor with the gravity back to normal.

"Well you definitely showed some serious improvement out there, even unlocking a new transformation."

"I know, I'm pretty proud of myself today too. Hey uh, what extent of power magnification does this False Super Saiyan transformation do anyway? I know that the base transformation provides a 50x boost, 2 provides 100x, 3 provides 400x and 4 gives out a x4000 power boost, so what does the incomplete one do?"

Mura responds to my question by saying that the Order of Reality tends to use the Ed Edd n Eddy Z power amplification guide to reference False Super Saiyan, meaning that it dishes out a power amplification of 40x the user's base power.

"Forty times my base power is all fine and dandy, but I have a hunch that these Angel "heralds" are only gonna get tougher and tougher with each passing one, which means that I gotta really be at the top of my game if I wanna go even further beyond this. Maybe even hit Super Saiyan Blue."

Mura just looks at me with a smile on her face and replies "You Saiyans and your push to better yourselves even further. Well if you ever want my help, I'll be around every 3 days or so to check up on you, so be ready for me."

"Will do."

Back home again after that little adventure and I feel stronger than ever sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the old interdimensional cable feed. A few shows manage to catch my attention: a version of Garo where some of the Total Drama girls fill the roles of the Makai knights and priests/priestesses, a Disney high school AU show where the characters play Cardfight Vanguard, even a version of Storm Hawks where the cast play Duel Monsters instead of going to war with one another with the added bonus of there being no Link monsters or rules that came with Link Summoning involved and there being 100 new "Number" monsters thrown into the mix. Dimensional cable is all fine and dandy, but it got me to want to explore what the local cable feeds had to offer. So I switch to the feed of Tokyo 3. I knew that Adult Swim branched off into its own channel in this timeline, but I was a tad bit surprised at something I found on their version of Cartoon Network: an alternate version of Friendship is Magic which often crosses over with the Transformers franchise. I had to wonder why this wasn't on their version of Discovery Family or the HUB or whatever they called it here, so I did a little bit of homework and discovered 3 unique little details about this world:

 **1: Apparently there were some similarities between this world's tv landscape and the one from Steven Universe Blackthorned with some somewhat major differences. Instead of adding Harvey Beaks into their Sanjay & Craig, Pig Goat Banana Cricket and Breadwinners movie, Viacom robbed the film of its one saving grace by adding Fanboy and Chum Chum. The end result lead to Paramount cutting all ties to Viacom right before they went bankrupt...and at just the right time too because Viacom was just about ready to launch another copyright armageddon that would've made YouTube even more of a warzone than it was on Earth Prime.**

 **2: As a result of the Viacom fallout, many Nicktoons were split between Disney and Cartoon Network, who opted to step up their games in terms of the quality of their shows. Teen Titans Go was canned after only one season, leading to Cartoon Network delaying all future reboots to do some massive quality control with Disney following suit with Gargoyles coming back to multiple awards and being on the verge of a 6th season with Kim Possible and American Dragon: Jake Long following suit.**

 **3: Disney now owned a fair portion of Toei's live action department, localizing shows like Kamen Rider as Power Rider who were now in the middle of adapting Kamen Rider Blade along with making their own Metal Heroes shows and being more truthful to Super Sentai adaptations through Power Rangers. On the other hand, Cartoon Network managed to score a huge deal with broadcasting Hasbro shows, leading to stuff like Transformers and FiM crossing over frequently as I had previously mentioned.**

Here I am, watching the Cutie Mark Crusaders control Superion like he was some sort of megazord against Bruticus and Devastator while Twilight and Optimus were working alongside Fluttershy and a version of Star Saber that became a Transformer after being a sword for so long to take on a Transformer-fied Tirek and King Sombra who had formed their own faction named after the Terrorcons, minding my own business when Eria comes up to me with a package in hand.

"Mr. Bishops, do you happen to know a J. Blackthorn? Because they sent a package for you."

I had an idea who sent it, but I simply reply "I know of A J. Blackthorn, but I haven't met them face to face. Best you set it on the counter, I'll deal with it personally."

"Alright, but why so jumpy all of a sudden? Is this guy bad news?"

I didn't have a good response for her that wouldn't reveal the secret, so I just carefully open the package to reveal...a rice cooker? Why would someone send me this, let alone a Blackthorn? At least it

included a note, and it confirmed what I was concerned about reading:

 **"Have fun with your new toy! P.S. the app you'll get on your Warper device will auto-activate so Ami will obey your voice.**

 **Cheers,**

 **Josho"**

No doubt a ploy to get me into joining his campaign of chaos and destruction no doubt, but like hell I was gonna dump everything I was planning for this world just to cause senseless death and destruction. However I had to ask why he would name a rice cooker "Ami" of all things. Of course I cautiously open the lid after gesturing Eria to stay back as what happened next could only be described as a little sexy and a whole lotta crazy as the next thing I know, my phone starts going crazy until out of the smoke comes...one of the 7 daughters of Aku from Samurai Jack season 5, **buck naked as the day she was born** as my phone finally calms down before saying "King's App installed and ready to open."

Eria was somewhat freaking out as Lyna and Wynn came out into the living room with Lyna having this strange look of confusion and arousal along with Wynn blushing blood red. I could've said that things couldn't possibly get worse...but they did as Jessie made her way into living room.

"Mr. Bishops, I need you to... **what in the 5 hells is going on here?!** "

Well, keeping the secret from these guys was no longer an option, so it's time to spill the beans.

"Alright! I know you guys have some pretty serious questions right now, so I'm going to come clean with something that I wanted to tell you guys, but I couldn't find the right words to deal it out."

 **(Warning: the following scene will either be muted with elevator muzak or have cut to an alternate image during its initial airing due to the risk of having characters that shouldn't be Warpers gaining 4th wall awareness, so if you see this "*", that means that the audio will resume as normal. Alright, let's get this over with.)**

"Alright, it basically goes like this: I'm technically not what you would call a human in the conventional sense. You see, I was born in a dimensional plane called Earth Prime, where your universe was created as an extent of what is known as a "Prime" timeline of a fictional work created by what is known as a Reality Warper. Technically I'm what is considered to be the most powerful breed of Warper known as a level 10, who has the ability to traverse alternate timelines with ease through the creation of portals made of what is known as the Flames of Creation, the very lifeforce that all beings are made of be they fictional or not. And now that I've just told you this, it makes you all Reality Warpers as well."*

Needless to say, everyone had their fair share of questions involving the multiverse and exactly why there was a nude female in my living room. Thankfully, I had a diversion to help build up answers in the form of a familiar face.

"Holy Jesus, Joseph and Mary Lou Rhetton, pops! Are you intending to tell the whole universe the Warper's secret?"

"Tulio, trust me when I say that this was completely not my intention at all. I was going to tell them at a later date when all of the Angels and NERV were dealt with, but things got out of hand."

Of course the appearance of one of my OCs leads Eria to ask "Who are you and what is going on here? Seriously, Wynn's kinda freaking out hardcore, and we'd like some closure."

She wasn't wrong, the green haired member of the maid trio was in the fetal position rocking back and forth muttering some sort of nonsense that would make her seem like a crazy person.

"Everyone, this is Tulio Rodriguez. One of my OCs made on Earth Prime and a representative of the Order of Reality: the governing party of all Reality Warpers. His job is primarily to help new Reality Warpers like you guys get settled into life beyond being fictional."

"More or less. If you guys could just fill out this paperwork, I can have you guys registered with the Order and you guys can be officially be considered level 4 Warpers."

Lyna winds up asking "If we're supposed to be level 4 and he's level 10, what level are you supposed to be and how does the whole level thing even work anyway?"

Rodriguez's reply: "Well I'm glad you asked, because the whole level system is a little bit more complex than you guys would believe. See, you guys were level 3, meaning that you didn't have 4th wall awareness until now, which makes you level 4. With training, you guys could go up to level 5 which would give you the power to alter the universe you're in in various ways until you eventually reach level 6, the most common Warper rank of all where you guys would be able to traverse the multiverse freely. As for me, I'm technically a level 8 Warper, which means that I was an original character created to serve as an extension of a level 7 Warper, AKA the guys who are responsible for making all of the alternate timelines that we can mess with via fan works, and with enough training of my abilities, I could reach level 9, the second most powerful rank there is."

Jessie then interrupts by saying "If we're all original characters like you are, then how are you a level 8 and we're only level 4?"

"I was getting to that. You see, characters that were inspired by characters from already existing properties, be they classified as OCs or not are technically treated as level 4 upon learning the secret. As far as I know, you guys were created to act as what if scenarios of what if a certain character was involved in a different universe compared to the one they originated from."

With more questions in their heads than answers, the four of them sign the paperwork before handing them back to Tulio who hands them their "Welcome to Reality Warping" gift baskets which he spawned out of his tablet.

"You know pops, we really should hang out sometime when people aren't getting filled in on our little secret."

"No doubt about that. After all, you are to an extent my son, I really oughta be there for my creations."

That's when he tells me that he had an off day next week after dealing with a huge surge of Warpers from the Senran Kagura, Dead or Alive and Storm Hawks timelines, even going on to tell me about one of his co-workers who had to register a Master Cyclonis who had gotten Mangekyou Sharingan from a dying Warper version of Madara Uchiha, almost got completely fried him to a crisp due to not being able to control her use of Amaterasu.

"Holy crap, is he alright?"

He answers "Yeah, nothing some time in one of those healing chambers at the St. Cygnus Hyuga burn ward can't fix. Anyway, I better get moving. Lots of Warpers to register, too few people to register them, you get the idea. See ya' next week, pops. We'll get some of those wings from that one Beach City I told you about."

After he exits the room back to wherever he needs to go, I was left with 5 women, one an apparently mindless slave without clothing looking for answers.

"Listen you guys, I had the full intention of telling you about this, just under different circumstances where the world wasn't still on the brink of destruction at the hands of gigantic Eldrich freaks of nature from space. I truly am sorry that you guys had to learn about Reality Warping this way, and if any of you wants to back out of working with me now, then I won't stop you."

The responses I got from the 4 of them who had free will were...surprisingly positive to say the least.

Jessie was first to reply by going "If we're to stay on board as part of your staff, we'll need to be filled in on all important details regarding this so called reality and how we can alter things to best suit...whatever it is you're here to do."

"Deal. I'll be sure to send you all of the source material that people draw from when creating fan works so you can get the basics of what we're expecting if we don't do anything."

Wynn's was something that I could've easily expected: "Um, i-is there some sort of service for people like me who aren't exactly taking this in stride, because I'm seriously having a hard time with this, and I'd rather not have a heart attack because of it."

"I can look into some stuff like support groups for this kind of thing if you want. Hopefully they can help."

Lyna was just spamming me with questions like "does this mean that we can have actual Lightsabers?', "What's the Warper stance on poly relationships?", "If we know about the 4th wall, does this mean that we can have our own episodes dedicated to us?", stuff like that to which I reply "Yes.", "Well since harem ownership is a thing among them, I'd say you guys are perfectly fine.", and "Probably." while Eria was asking about what exactly I had in mind for their world while I was here.

"My main goal is to make sure that both the Angels and the group pulling the strings behind NERV along with the rest of the world, SEELE don't manage to win out in the end, expose NERV for the bunch of hypocritical, slackjawed peons they are, and maybe help Unit-01's pilot not be tricked into destroying the world, which kinda ties into the whole SEELE thing."

Well, now that I've managed to hopefully get them on my side again, I needed to make a phone call.

"Come on, pick up. Merch, thank god. Listen, I've got a bit of a situation, and...wait, you've been watching the whole thing? Alright look, I got a nude ninja assassin turned into a mindless drone in my house and I could seriously do with some clothes for her. Can you help me or not? Wait, I have a bounty on my head? 22,000,000 dimensional credits?! What do you mean that killing an Angel from Evangelion is technically considered a crime?! Alright, we'll deal with this later, can you just hook me up with some clothes for this lady, please? Really, you'd be willing to throw in some extra stuff in exchange for a few Mega Seeds? Yeah, sure, no problem. I'll have it ready for you tomorrow at the earliest."

Almost instantly after I hang up, Eria asks "Who were you talking too?"

"A traveling merchant that goes by the name of Merch who sells stuff from across the multiverse that I've done business with before. He's agreed to trade me some clothes for our new house guest along with a few other things that should help the plan go a bit smoother in exchange for a few Mega Seeds from Rick and Morty."

She adds "That doesn't explain why you talked about 22,000,000 dimensional credits. Is that what it's gonna cost to get all that, or is there something else we need to know?"

Well, I've come clean about a fair amount of stuff to these guys, might as well come clean about this.

"Let's just say that I may or may not have a little side gig of not only helping Shinji destroy the last angel along with that freaky herald thing that was with it, but also another Warper who was in leagues with a family of seriously evil Warpers who wanted to enslave an entire universe, and as a result I got rigged with a price on my head by a former member of the Order's elite council and another version of said Warper who was pretty butthurt about having another version of himself be killed by me."

Which Lyna adds on to the conversation by asking "Wait, you're the vigilante that the news was talking about earlier this morning? Also, how you gonna do the thing with the seed things?"

"Yes, and I'll have to bring along someone to get them with me tomorrow. Merch said that he'd send me a couple pairs of gravity manipulation boots that should make the job a bit easier. Luckily this should give me a chance to start Shinji's training."

That's when Jessie asks "Wait, you're planning on making him one of us too?"

"We'll need everyone we can get on our side with a reason to take down NERV, and that kid has plenty."

"My, it looks like ol' Joshinari is trying to sway you to his side."

At that moment, the 5 of us with actual free will turn our heads and see that Mura was coming out of my kitchen with a bottle of Pitch Black in hand, which leads Wynn to start partially freaking out again and Jessie to go "Oh, what fresh hell is this?"

"Everyone calm down, this is Mura Kage, an ex member of a Warper branch of the Time Patrol and the Majin responsible for teaching me everything that I know about Warper skills and combat training. What brings you here, and more importantly, how did you get in without me sensing you?"

Her answer for me: "I sensed Josho's energy within that rice cooker and rushed over expecting you to be caught up in some sort of trap, but I wasn't expecting him to give you a gift, and a fine one at that. A mindless drone most likely to be used as a living sex doll that's not only completely purified and innocent, but with their hymen completely intact, I think you've hit a gold mine. Daughters of Aku are a hot commodity when it comes to cloning and sexual servitude, and one of the lesser ones like this one that aren't Ashi should still pull in a pretty penny."

Of course this pretty much left everyone else mortified as Jessie just blurts out "Wait, slavery's still a thing among Warpers?!"

"More like sex slavery is a thing, Warpers can't enslave one another by order of the Law of Neutrality. Ami here was still a level 3 when her programming was done to her and sent to our dear friend Bishops. You see, Warper morals can be a tad bit more loose compared to those who haven't leveled up yet for the most part. Take those three cuties in the maid outfits for example, those three are in a poly relationship with one another and if they wanted their own living sex dolls or wanted to start a harem, or do anything else outside of destroying a Prime timeline which all other realities spawn from, travel to Earth Prime, or commit any form of sexual misconduct with a non-consensual partner, nobody would bat an eye. Same thing goes for you and your boss here."

This leaves the red head to stammer before going "This is too much. Please tell me you guys have at least a bottle of white Pinot in this place." with Lyna replying, "Uh, Mr. Bishops doesn't drink alchohol, and the three of us are only still 19, or in Wynn's case 19 1/2, soooooooo..."

"Of course not."

 **(POV Shift: Shinji)**

 **Holy crap, 2 hours at this school that the old man decided to dump me in for an "education", and I already hate it.** Sure, things were fine during homeroom, introduce myself, find out where my desk was, get greeted by the class rep, all that crap. But oh lordy, did things to downhill after after that. Yeah, do you remember when I used quotes around the word "education"? Well, there really isn't any to be found here! All we really got so far is the teacher spouting on and on about Second Impact, which would've been fine if it was History class, **but he's been going on an on about it throughout all of Literacy, Science, and currently Math!** I may not be the best at math (yeah yeah, Asian stereotypes and all that crap), but I'm pretty sure that the square root of 100 isn't a meteor crashing into the South Pole. What I wouldn't give right now for something to get me out of this.

"Shinji Ikari, please report to the main office. There is someone here to see you."

An excuse to get out of this crap fest, I'll take it. Getting up from my chair, I make my way to the main office, only to find that Bishops guys waiting for me, telling me that I've been made part of a special apprenticeship program where I don't have to be here. It may seem shady, but as far as I see it, I'd rather take this than going back to an old fart prattling on about Second Impact during every class.

"Thank god you busted me out of that crap shack, I swear I think that douchebag I'm forced to call my old man purposely rigged it so that I'd wind up in the worst school possible."

"Yeah, I'm starting to think that too since this is the only school in Tokyo 3, and all the good schools are in Tokyo 2. Anyway, I need your help with something a bit personal. It's a bit of a risk, but I could be able to make some serious bank on it, and I'm more than willing to offer you a cut. Interested?"

Well, it beats "school", so I reply "Alright, what're we doing?"

That's when he has me follow him to a secluded alleyway as he pulls out some sort of freaky gun thing and fires it, creating some sort of green vortex thing as he gestures me to step through it. What was on the other side? Something that could be in some sort of science fiction parody cartoon.

"Where the hell are we?"

Bishops then replies "Dimension 35-C, this place has the perfect climate for a special type of tree: Mega Trees. And from those Mega Trees sprout Mega Fruits, which yield a special kind of seeds: Mega Seeds, Shinji. An associate of mine is looking into new weaponry that could help the military actually be of use in the fight against the Angels, and since he's too busy working on the nuts and bolts of the matter, he asked me to help get the seeds for him. They're very important for this guy's research and that's why I need your help to get them. I can't do it all on my own, I only have two hands and a short amount of time to get 'em."

A fetch quest in some sort of alternate dimension for stuff that could make my job even easier? Sounds too good to be true. There was just one little problem though: I was pretty sure that if Misato found out that I wasn't in school and on a job with the guy who even my "dad" can't touch without her possible knowing, pretty sure that we'd both be screwed over in the long run.

"Uh, this is pretty cool and all, but you did remember to tell Misato about this, right? After all, NERV did technically stick me under her care."

"Don't worry about it. Now come on, we got work to do."

"But how are we supposed to get to these Mega Whatevers when I'm pretty sure neither of us know where they are?"

"Trust me kid, I know what I'm doing. I mean it's not like some big monster is gonna sneak up behind us and... **oh holy crap, run, Shinji, run! I've never dealt with one of those things up close before, I've only heard of 'em on the internet, we gotta run!"**

I swear, I've seen the kind of monster that's chasing us on TV somewhere before. We would've been done for if Bishops hadn't grabbed me right before he jumped higher than anyone should possibly be able to, landing us on some sort of cliff. When I ask about it, he tells me that "he has a good trainer, and that he can actually teach me how to do it". If I weren't so impressed, I'd question every aspect of what he just said. Luckily we wound up near where we needed to be.

"Ok, I'm ready to go back to school now."

"What's with you and that school anyway? That place is a garbage dump that doesn't give a crap about education. You stick with me, you'll get to learn how to do amazing things, go to places beyond your imagination, meet people who you'd never get to meet if you were stuck in that stupid school."

That's when he realizes what was below the cliff.

"Shinji, do you know what those are just below the cliff?"

"The Mega Trees?"

"Yes, the Mega Trees with the Mega Fruits that bear the Mega Seeds, the seeds that we came here to get, Shinji. Now all we need to do is get down there and fill up a basket's worth, and I got us just the thing to get us down there."

Bishops then whips out a couple pairs of boots with lights and buttons and loads of sci-fi stuff as he explains that they allow the wearer to defy the laws of gravity and allow us to walk on walls and stuff. I get mine on and walk off the cliff...only to fall down and break my legs. So here I am, in excruciating pain with him just walking down the cliff face like it was nothing. Where's the fairness in that?!

"I guess you didn't turn the boots on first, kid. Really a good idea to turn the boots on before you go walking down the face of a cliff and stuff. Kinda like, gravity defying boot use 101 there."

 **I can't fucking believe this. My legs are broken and I'm in more pain than I should legally be allowed to be, and he chooses NOW of all times to give me a lecture on how to use footwear?!**

"You gotta be freaking kidding me! I just got turned into a freaking paraplegic, and you choose now of all times to lecture me about how to use a fucking pair of boots?! FIX MY LEGS!"

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna go get something that should fix you right up. Don't move, I'll be right back."

You gotta be kidding me! he leaves through a portal and just ditches me here to fend for myself with a pair of **broken beyond all belief legs!**

"You can't just leave me here! If that thing comes back, I'm done for! **GET BACK HERE AND FIX MY LEGS, YOU ASSHOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!** "

Well how did you expect me to react, my legs were busted on some freak alien world where there was more than a fair share of things out to get me with the guy who I'm supposed to put my faith in just up and running off through a portal. It was Carson City all over again. Next thing I know while my eyes were shut, I could feel something being injected in me as I open my eyes to see that Bishops guy actually pull through with some sort of injection device in hand.

"What did you just stick me with?"

His reply: "Relax, this stuffs called "Pure Curem". It can bring anyone back from the brink of annihilation, and it should start working for you right about...now."

He wasn't kidding. Next thing I know, I can feel my legs piecing themselves back together again, and when it was all said and done, not only could I stand and walk like I used to, but I realized that I had never felt better in my entire life.

"Feel better now?"

"Actually, yeah. I feel great, better than I've ever felt before in fact."

Wow, glad to know that he actually cared enough to actually pull through.

"So what do you say, Shinji? Feel like helping me get those seeds?"

I might as well repay him. I figure out how to turn those stupid boots on and we start harvesting the fruit from those trees for their seeds (that sounded a lot creepier than it should've, didn't it?), and things were actually going pretty smooth...until we started getting chased by some sort of gun toting space farmer spouting some sort of gibberish in an accent that was too thick to really understand. Luckily, we managed to get out of there with every seed me managed to grab. Getting home however...proved to be a bit more trouble than expected. How so? Well when Bishops tried to use that portal gun thing to get us home, let's just say that results were less than desirable.

"Oh crap. I forgot to charge my portal gun last night, and I forgot my pair of Dimensional Scissors at home."

"Wait, Dimensional Scissors?"

"I'll explain those later, but unfortunately, it looks like we'll have to go through Customs to get home."

I had to ask this: "Really? You're worried about Customs? What's so bad about Customs here considering what we just had to deal with?"

"Let's just say that Customs here isn't like the kind you'd expect to see of New Chicago O'Hare. They deal with things a little bit differently."

Yeesh, he wasn't kidding. I swear it looked like everyone there was either coming or going from some sort of sci-fi convention. I mean we had roach people, battle droids from Star Wars, even some of those space octopus people from Fairly Odd Parents, you know the ones I'm talking about. If I've learned anything from today, it's that anything that can go wrong **will**.

"It's Desmond Bishops, the feared Reality Warper who defeated the Warper Tribunal's Jerry Smith along with the Angel Sachiel!"

"There's a reward on his head for 22,000,000 Dimensional Credits, let's get him!"

I'll have to ask about that "Reality Warper" comment later, right now getting out of here alive was top priority. We were trying to escape laser fire when I managed to get an idea: climb the walls to start vaulting booth ceilings using those damn boots. Believe it on not, it actually worked.

"Great thinking, Shinji. Now we just have to hop across these booths to hopefully find something like a larger built into the building portal device, rig it to get us home, and call it a day."

"If we survive, that is."

We manage to make our way to this giant portal as Bishops starts trying to program us a way home, but not before handing me some sort of laser gun.

"Shinji, I know I'm asking a lot of you for this, but I need you to take down any two bit bounty hunter that comes our way until I can get us out of here and back to Tokyo 3."

"You do realize that I haven't had any formal firearm training, right?"

"Just point the gun at one of them and pull the trigger, simple as that."

No time to argue about it now, because the angry mob that followed us was right on our tail, making me shoot for dear life to save our skins. I even managed to hit a battle droid if you'd believe that.

"Glen's bleeding out! Someone call his wife and children!"

That had to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard from a robot ever.

"Really? That joke doesn't even work if you're not organic, I hope you realize that!"

"You can argue about the logic of Rick and Morty humor with robots later, kid. Right now, I just need you to keep shooting until I can get us out of here!"

A couple moments later, and he finally managed to get the portal thing locked onto home. Bishops gestured me to go through while he was carrying the seeds right as one of the loose ones that wound up on the floor got shot at, and I swear, a piece of it landed right in my mouth.

"I think I swallowed a chunk of one."

"We'll deal with that when we get back, now hurry!"

 **(P.O.V Shift: Desmond (me)**

 **Back home at the penthouse with the cargo at hand at last, thank god!** It seemed like we were in the clear and Ami was off somewhere with the maids. Things were looking good...until I saw Misato and Ritsuko were standing in the living room with us, and they were not amused.

"Care to explain to me why my ward was pulled from school for unknown reasons without my knowing?"

We were in the soup, and I had to get us out fast. So I had to make up some story and I had to think of it quick.

"Misato, you and I both know that the school Gendo dropped the boy in is absolute garbage. The teachers are far too incompotent for their own good, and all that happens there outside of PE is some old nuckfut going on and on about Second Impact in every class when there isn't any need for it. I pulled Shinji out of there in order to give him the chance to learn things that he can actually use. Stuff that's gonna get him a lot further in life than he would be with that crap shack."

Yeah, they weren't buying it as Misato responds "Yeah, I don't buy it at the very least."

"Alright, I'll prove it. Shinji, what's the square root of pi?"

"What are you-"

"Square root of pi. Chop chop."

"1.77245385. Whoa."

That caught 'em by surprise as Ritsuko replies "What the hell?"

"How about the first law of thermodynamics?"

"The increment in the inertial energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system. What the?"

"What about the basics of Occam's Razor?"

"Occam's Razor states that when presented with competing hypotheses to solve a problem, one should select the solution with the fewest assumptions."

"And finish them off with the lore of the Book of Five Rings."

"The Book of Five Rings was originally written by legendary Samurai Miyamoto Musashi in 1645 which focuses on translating the aspects of martial arts into entering a state of Zen like mastery which many businesses and schools of fighting have implemented into their ideals to this day. Sweet mother of."

I had 'em on the ropes now, time to finish 'em off by adding a few more choice words.

"See, I told you that school was stupid. You can't learn anything from that place except Second Impact. Shinji's a gifted young lad with a mind that would've been wasted there, which is why you guys should let me mentor him. With my help, he'll be accomplishing great things in the future after all this Angel madness is over. He's way too smart for that school, he needs to hang out with me and learn how to really do things that can actually help make this planet less of a hell hole."

Well, they knew they were beat. Next thing to come out of Misato's lips: "Okay, we might have...overreacted a little bit, and for that, we apologize. I guess if it's offering results like that, I guess we can let you be Shinji's mentor. But only if he's okay with it. And he has to attend at least one class at the high school per day."

It was at that moment that Shinji realized what I was getting at, and responded "Misato, after spending more than enough time at that school for one day, I think I can wholeheartedly say that I would rather be this guy's apprentice than spend another full day there. Mr. Bishops, you have yourself a deal."

"Glad to have you on board, kid."

Misato was actually surprised at how professional that Shinji and I were being about this, leading her to reply "Alright. Well, Rits and I have to take care of some things back at NERV, be sure to have Shinji home before sundown."

"Will do, Ms. Katsuragi. Take care."

As soon as those two were gone, I quickly injected the kid with a syringe from a med kit that was next to the portal that I grabbed right before we left and after he said he swallowed a piece of Mega Seed.

"Ow! Okay, one: what did you put in me now? And two: how is hanging around you making me smart?"

"Full disclosure, Shinji, it isn't. At least not yet anyway. Temporary super intelligence is a side effect of the Mega Seed chunk in your stomach dissolving, and the stuff I injected you with is gonna make the other side effect a whole lot easier to deal with. You see, the other side effect of those Mega Seeds being ingested by humans results in massive organ failure and death by...you don't wanna know. With what was in that needle, it'll only be as bad as a mild stomach virus which would take effect right about...now."

I can almost instantly see the look on his face change before rushing towards the bathroom and starting to blow chunks.

 **(Fair warning: you might wanna put on the track that plays whenever Rick goes into one of his glorious rants when you read this next part. Just saying.)**

"I'm sorry, Shinji. I know, it sucks, but in this reality, you're still as dumb as they come. We were lucky that we were able to keep the seeds from falling into the wrong hands and being able to get Misato and the rest of NERV off our backs. And once you're all patched up, you and I are gonna go get some more, and then we'll go on another adventure after that, Shinji. But I'm gonna need you to keep your mouth shut about it, Shinji, because this world if full of idiots who don't know what's important, and they'll try to tear us apart, Shinji. But if you stick with me, kid, we're gonna accomplish great things, Shinji, and you're gonna be a part of them. The outside world save for a few people who'll come along later on are our enemy, Shinji. Other than those guys I mentioned earlier, Shinji, we're the only people we can count on, Shinji. It's just like Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Shinji. Rick and Morty forever and ever and Morty's things. You, me, those guys, Rick and Morty running around, shooting lasers from our hands, and making a difference, Shinji and Rick and Morty time. All day long, every day forever, all 100 days. Rick and Mory all 100 times, rickandmorty dot com. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures dot come. www dot rickandmorty dot com. All 100 years, over and over, www dot rickandmortyadventures dot com.

For a quick moment, the kid lifts his head out of the toilet and goes "What the hell are you even talking about?!" before going right back at it again.

"Sorry about that, I guess I kinda went into a bit of a rant mode there. Oh, and uh, probably not the best time to say this, but you're welcome for saving your skin. Twice."

 _(Ending Theme: for the sake of parody like the whole second half of this episode was, we'll be using the ending theme to Rick and Morty)_

 _ **(**_ **Current Power Levels:**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 238,700/(Max Safe Kaio Ken: 2,863,400 at x12)/9,548,000 in False Super Saiyan**

 **Mura Tenin: 3,384,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: 406* (*= Power level and Ki use unavailable due to lack of training and only being a level 3 Warper)**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Wynn Miyabi: 4 1/2**

 **Eria Aoi: 5**

 **Lyna Hikari: 5**

 **Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 300**

 **Jessaline Musashi: 6**

 **Tulio Rodriguez: 731,840**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 519* (Rei clones are born with a base power level of 100 due to their mixture of human and Angel DNA and grow in power the longer they are inside their giant LCL tank. Rei III and possible other future clones will be more powerful upon release due to this factor. Ki use also unavailable due to the same reasons as Shinji.)**

 **Ritusko Akagi: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Mokoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Fuyutsuki: 4**

 **Others to Come: ?**

 **(Author's Note: Next time, Desmond meets the heads of the Blackthorn clan face to face and the canon events of episode 3 happen with some major tweaks. And if Yoshi3000 is reading this, 1: consider this an early birthday present, and 2: if there are still some spacing issues, I tried to figure out how to make the spacing on the dialogue and P.O.V. Shifts better, but I couldn't figure out a way. Sorry.)**


	7. Blackthorns Are (not) to be Messed With

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 7: Blackthorns Are (not) To Be Messed With/Altered Episode 3 (also) Happens**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **I am so screwed. I finally started to watch Steven Universe Blackthorned season 4, and in the very first episode of that season, it was revealed that Akira and Genevieve Blackthorn I were gonna be paying me a "visit".** They were gonna be the toughest challenge I've faced yet, so I had to be ready. The only problem with that was I didn't know when they were coming...until I cringed with dread at the letter attached to my door reading that they would be there in a matter of 2 days time. The very next morning was spent with Ami within the GARD training as much as possible with what little time we had. Thankfully one of the outfits included in my little deal with Merch included a genderbent version of Heihachi Mishima's outfit from Tekken (thankfully not the fundoshi one, that would've been pretty...distracting).

"Master, wouldn't it be a better idea to involve the others? It would be more fortuitous to be involved with fighting multiple combatants considering that these Blackthorns would most likely want to fight you all at once?"

"The maids and Ms. Musashi are in no way ready to be dealing with the physical aspects of Ki right now, it's better that they focus on the mental aspects of it for the time being. As for Shinji, we'll bring him in after he finishes his class of the day and we can not only work on his training, but I can work of taking on more than one opponent at a time. I will admit that it's been a while since I've last done that kind of training, not since my time with the Dai Gurrens."

"As you wish, master. Shall we commence with our initial sparring session now?"

I get ready and reply to her "I'm ready when you are. No holding back."

"As you wish, master."

A full day's worth of training and giving Shinji a crash course in stuff like Multiverse Science later, and I expect to come home to a somewhat relaxing evening while helping to deal with anything that Jessie or the maids had problems with, only to find a note stuck to my door with a Kunai dagger stating that the Blackthorn family heads were **going to arrive in my universe early tomorrow morning.** Oh, this was bad, this was very very bad. I thought I had more time before this, but I was wrong. No use trying to avoid them, they could easily hunt me down judging on how powerful their offspring and related family were. Might as well try to stand my ground and hope that I can survive at least a few minutes against these guys.

( **P.O.V. Shift: Akira Blackthorn)**

 **The rising sun looms over the mountainscape that surrounds Tokyo 3 as we await the arrival of our challenge.** It isn't every day that a new Warper of level 10 status comes to be, and one who has access to Spiral Energy is even more rare of an event. Truly a chance to expand our knowledge of fighting styles.

My wife "You think that he's going to try and skip town?" as I reply "I'm sure he's been made aware of our stature and feats. He would know that trying to evade us would be a futile effort."

We wait a minute longer until we can finally sense his energy signature approaching this way.

"So you decided not to run. Respectable."

Bishops lands about a foot away from us before responding "I didn't exactly have that option, considering that you two could easily track me down if need be."

I could commend him for his honesty, that's for sure.

"I know I probably shouldn't dare ask this, but what exactly is the pleasure of this visit?"

I tell him that we were here to gauge his potential through a round of sparring, even allowing him to pick the venue for the match himself. We can see Bishops smile as he comes up with a place and opens a portal, gesturing us to step inside.

"Yavin 4. Genevieve and I might not know Star Wars all that well, but at least we're more than aware that this moon is an excellent option for training sessions due to lack of heavy population and dense woodwork."

Well, that caught young Bishops by surprise as we assumed that he picked it in order to gain the upper hand using the element of surprise.

He then asks "Then I suppose you guys train here often, or at least some sort of version of this place?" as Genevieve replies "To an extent, yes. We have taken our children to help with their training in their early days. Now then, shall we get started?"

Bishops then gets into an offensive stance before saying "Ready when you are." as we begin our charge with him being able to hold his own. He manages to escape into the jungles of the moon after breaking off the initial skirmish with my wife and I following suit. No doubt that he was planning to bait us into a trap and utilize his surroundings into a sneak attack. All for naught as I was able to counter his lariat with a rising knife kick before Genevieve brings him in with a throw akin to the Pokemon move Seismic Toss. I had heard things about Bishops' skills with a sword, something that I wanted to confirm for myself as I gesture my wife to allow me to face him one on one in a clash of blades.

"I must say, I'm a bit surprised that you chose to utilize more Western based swords such as that." I say gazing upon Biships' more ornate broadsword as opposed the the Katanas that I tend to frequent as he replies "Not everyone is capable of mastering the fighting style brought forth by the noble Katana. And besides, I live for being a tad unconventional when it comes to popular weapon choices."

My reply: "I see. Well then, let's see how well you handle yourself against a weapon of the East."

I must admit that he did have me impressed as he was able to match my strikes with decent precision with a single blade. After kicking him into a nearby tree, I decided that I was done with the first stage of the warm up, and spawned a second Katana from my Blacktab to gauge his skills against 2 swords at the same time. The boy was able to block most of my attacks until I was able to knock his sword out of his hands before delivering a swift jack knife kick into a rock. After I stab both of my swords into the ground, I begin a Ki fueled charge to deliver a swift series of strikes, only to figure out in the end that he managed to evade them all before I could even land the first blow.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Genevieve Blackthorn I)**

 **Well, it appears that Bishops is well versed on the concept of speed and recovery, but will it be enough for him to last against us remains as the big question.** Bishops managed to regain the sword he was using while adding a Minecraft diamond sword to his arsenal in an attempt to counter my husband's dual swords, even going so far as to make an attack enveloping energy barrier with his swords utilizing the Kaio Ken at I can only assume was an amplification of 16 times his original power to counteract Akira's Cyclone Slash 81: a technique which utilizes the Kyutoryu sword style made famous by one Roanora Zoro by creating a group of 9 afterimages to attack the opponent while the original circles around their opponent, forming a tornado to prevent their escape until the original delivers the final blow and causes the tornado to fade away in the process. I was actually surprised to see that Bishops had managed to somehow survive all that, even transforming into a False Super Saiyan in the process.

I can hear him say "Alright, I better finish this fast because taking another one of those, let alone what your wife has to offer. Looks like it's time to debut the new move I've been working on. I just hope it woks."

I can see him start charging up large amounts of Ki into both of his blades as he was able to create a group of at least 1000 afterimages before pronouncing the attack's name: "Giga Dual Sword 2000 Mirror Blade.": a parody of that "1000 Mirror Blade" attack from Steven Universe I believe. A powerful attack, that was a given, but not powerful enough to put either of us down. It was our turn to counterattack, and counterattack we did as our Brutal Ballet managed to slam Bishops into the exterior of some sort of Mayan style Pyramid before we manage to strike him with a good doseage of Bio-Electricity.

I swear that I could hear him shouting out "Goddamit, not the lightning again" while he was being zapped. After a few more seconds, we finally stop with the assault as Bishops lay there unconscious. It seemed that this battle was over at last, but as Akira and I were readying ourselves to grab him so we could leave this moon, something sparked inside of the boy. Something...powerful.

 _ **(Track Change: "Edge of the Fist"-J-Stars Victory VS Plus OST)**_

He slowly gets back on his feet as I can hear him force what he wants to say out of himself.

"No...way. No way I'm letting this end here. If I'm gonna get any stronger to face anything that comes my way...I need to keep breaking through the limits that I hit. I'm going to kick logic to the curb and become even better than I was before, better to the point where I can even defeat the likes of legends like you. And I'm going to start breaking through those limits **RIGHT NOW!** "

What we were witnessing filled me with almost as much pride as it did when my own children accomplished it: with a surge of Spiral Energy infused Ki and a rising shout of inspiration, Bishops had reached the first stage of the Super Saiyan transformation.

"Excellent, young one. Excellent. That drive, that ambition, that underlying urge to become stronger, that is what allowed you to ascend beyond who you once were. Take a look for yourself."

That's when I spawn a full length mirror from my own personal Blacktab and show Bishops his new transformed state: it looked like a Super Saiyan should, except for one major difference: the green streaks mixed into the blonde hair which matched the mixture of light green and yellow found in his Ki field.

I ask him how it feels "I feel...amazing. As if I've broken through a bunch of walls at once to become something...more."

Akira replies to that by saying "Such is the feeling when one reaches Super Saiyan for the first time, and rest assured, I speak from experience."

What we hear come from Bishops' mouth next is something that should've caught us off guard, but we knew what he had to say was true."

"In all honesty, I'm not truly a Super Saiyan. With this mixture of energies inside of me, I feel as if I've become something else. Something stronger. With that being said, I think it's best to call this form... **"** **Super Spiral"**.

Not the most original idea for a name, but I suppose a worthy one considering the circumstances.

"Be that as it may, child, you've taken your first step forward towards a greater goal. But you still have a long way to go before you can match us. Allow me to give you an example of your possible future."

It was that moment that I opted to give the boy a proper taste of my power by showing him what is commonly referred to as "Super Saiyan Blue", though it might have been a bit too much for him as he was sent flying back a bit, if only for a short moment before trying to launch an attack. One that would again be all for naught as I was able to render him knocked out with one simple use of one of my personal favorite moves: the Tornado Blaze, a personal variation of one of our family's shared techniques which involves utilizing a burst of Ki to blow my opponent away before using a burst of speed to catch up to my opponent. Personally, I tend to appear behind them, which has the combo properly start with a swift right hook to my opponent's jaw before going to a series of rapid kicks and finishing with Ki infused roundhouse kick which I tend to call the Strike of Revelation. Needless to say, the boy wasn't getting back up for a while without our help afterwards as both me and Akira see him sprawled out on the ground while now back to his normal state.

"Do you think we were a bit too rough with the boy, dear?"

My husband responds "He'll never get any stronger if we don't pull our punches. You should know considering that we raised and taught 9 children between our own and my brother's."

"Too true. Still, we should go down there and help him. He did put up a fairly decent fight after all."

"Hmmmm, I suppose. After all, I suppose it wouldn't be right to just leave him there."

We land down at his location before I spawn him a Senzu bean with my Blacktab and feed it to him as he manages to spring back to his feet.

He asks "That last attack was what did me in, wasn't it?"

"Yes, yes it was. Let it serve as a motivation for you. If you continue to push yourself beyond your limits, you too will be able to create your own version of what I used to end our little match, your own "Super Spiral Blue."

Our test was completed, they had the drive for his cause, but there was still much that he had to learn. Akira opens us a portal back into Tokyo 3 when I can sense Bishops' Ki flare up, transforming back into a "Super Spiral".

"Not so fast. I didn't hear any bell, so I say that we should keep going for a little bit more. I mean I just got this transformation, and I wanna be able to use it for a while to get the hang of it, kinda like the Full Power variant that Goku and company managed to gain before the Cell Games."

His Saiyan pride must be kicking in, though I can't really blame him. Over the next 5 hours, the three of us would continue to spar, in the case of Bishops get knocked down, get back up again, and repeat the process until sunset fell across the science fiction jungle landscape.

"It appears that you're beginning to truly master your new transformation. But it's like we said before, you still have a long way to go before you're able to match us."

Akira adds in his two cents by saying "Not to mention that your sword skills will need further polishing if you want to be able to use more than two swords at a time."

Bishops seemed to understand what we were getting at as he responded "There's no doubt about either of the things you said. If I wanna be able to make at least my EVA timeline better for those within it, I need to keep going beyond what's considered the top of my game in order to be able to take on not only the Angels and their heralds, but NERV in general just in case things take a turn for the worse."

Of all the things that could disrupt this serene moment, it was one of the great weaknesses of the Saiyan: a grumbling stomach, ready for a fine meal.

Bishops manages to laugh it off and say "I guess we managed to fight for so long, I guess we skipped lunch. Say, since you helped me reach a new level of power, how about I treat you guys to dinner as a thank you? I happen to know of a few high rated buffets back in Tokyo 3."

Akira knew what I was thinking and replied "Perhaps we'll take you up on your offer."

 **(General P.O.V. Shift: No specific focus on any character's perspective.)**

 **That evening was spent enjoying the finest food that the city had to offer, all on Desmond's dime as he and the head Blackthorns refuel their reserves.** After a hearty meal that caused their choice in eatery to close down for the night, we find the three of them back in the penthouse as Desmond explains the situation he's dealt with up until this point.

"That pretty much leads us to where we are now."

"I'll admit that you had some valid reasons to not want to get those girls involved in this, but dealing with the situation earlier as opposed to waiting until it was too late is always the more preferred path." answers Akira as he gazes at a WNN broadcast regarding the destruction of planet Shin Vega at the hands of an evil version of Equestria Girls Pinkie Pie.

Genevieve acting like the concerned parent she should be responds to the news by stating "Thank goodness that little Katsumi and Evie made it out of there alive. This version of Pinkamena is truly a threatening force. Being part Majin and having the ability to use high calibur magic already makes her a challenge to deal with, but being a level 9 Warper only complicates things."

Desmond asks with some sever concern "You guys know how to beat her, right?"

Akira's answer was somewhat reassuring, but not completely as he states "We may be able to fight her to a state of temporary incapacitation, but I'm afraid that the only way to truly put a stop to her is the use of a seal. Technically this shouldn't be much of a problem, but the seal needed is hidden, and the only one who would know where it is would be our first born, Ace."

To which Genevieve adds with a sense of sadness "We haven't been able to contact him for some time, not since he first left on a journey of his own. We've since feared the worst."

Bishops knew that if the Blackthorns that he's seen and fought against were a sign of anything, that you can't kill one of them, let alone the oldest out of their kids just by going through a portal. That's when he figured out a possible theory.

"If you guys and the actions I've seen the younger generation of your family are a sign of anything, it's that you guys are a whole lot harder to take down then by just going through a portal. I think I might have an idea on why he hasn't been able to contact you: what if the timeline of whatever universe he decided to visit was surrounded by some sort of dimensional interference? I mean that I've been studying up on stuff that can happen to cause problems when traveling between universes, so perhaps something akin to dimensional interference could be a reason for Ace not to get messages out to you guys."

Before either of them could answer to said theory in question, a chiming noise came from Akira's Blacktab. The chiming came from a call from Genevieve Jr.

"What? Josho's discovered a new form exclusive to the Endurion race? He's already obtained it? We'll figure something out soon, but for now, I'm just glad that you and Katsumi are safe. Yes yes, I love you too, sweetheart. Bye."

Genevieve Sr. asks "Was that Evie, dear?"

"Yes, apparently Joshonari's discovered a new super form exclusive to those of pure Endurion blood and is able to utilize it."

Desmond adds in by asking "Was it discovered on screen? Can we see what the transformation looks like?"

To which Akira responds "We should. Check the dimensional cable box for anything regarding his actions."

With a swift grasp of the remote, Desmond searches for any shows involving Josho Blackthorn, only to find the episode of his adventures within an altered Samurai Jack season 5 where he was able to achieve what would now be known as the "Megavolt" transformation. Akira gazed at the new form with a mixture of shock and interest.

"Well, it seems that I'll need to start working towards obtaining this new form. If it can only be obtained through having pure Endurion blood, then that means out of everyone in the family, only myself, my brother Kaneda, little Katsumi II and both his and her half brother are able to obtain it."

Bishops asks "Are you gonna track down that old guy in order to obtain it?"

The Blackthorn patriarch responds "Evie and my niece are handling it as we speak, so in the meantime, Genevieve and I can at least put your little theory to the test."

The matriarch adds on by stating "We'll depart tomorrow. For now, we'll just have to wait here for the evening and make a course of action regarding these recent events."

"You guys are more than welcome to stay here if you need to." responds the newer level 10 Warper as Genevieve answers "Very appreciated, but we do have a hotel room in town booked just in case we decided to stay overnight."

A new dawn rose over Tokyo 3 as Bishops and the heads of the Blackthorn clan discuss the new plan of action with Akira starting things off stating "Alright, while Genevieve and I work towards figuring out your distortion theory while gathering means to deal with this Pinkamena situation for the time until we can hopefully find Ace."

Genevieve continues by adding "And while Katsumi and Evie use the resources of the Order to figure out the identity of that old man who gave Joshonari the secrets of that Megavolt form, you should keep working towards unlocking the full power of the Warper: Shin Warper's Will. While normal Warpers have access to Warper's Will in order to affect the events of the universe to their favor, those who reach level 10 have the highest chance of obtaining an ability to gain a higher power, one that can overturn even the effects of normal Warper's Will, making their power absolute. It's harder to obtain with lesser level Warpers, but it's still doable."

Bishops answers to this by stating "There might be a good chance for me to gain it while dealing with the Angels and NERV. Once those guys are dealt with, I'll be more than happy to help you guys out in any way I can."

Akira turns to Bishops and says "Glad to have you on board. Before we depart, we do have something for you. It was originally going to be an incentive to get you to keep up your training, but consider it a reward for reaching the next level of your Warper studies."

The Blackthorn patriarch pulls out what can be described as an ornate broadsword sporting a golden dragon motif with dragon heads on each end of the handguard and on the pommel with each head holding a jewel (1 blue orb in each of the handguards, 1 red orb in the pommel, and a green orb in the center of the handguard) before tossing it to Bishops and stating "You know, it's tradition for swordfighters to give their blades a proper name."

The newer of the 10th level Warpers mulled it over for a moment before giving his answer: "Well Warper life usually resolves around using action as the simplest solution, so why not give this a name that symbolizes that? I was thinking something along the lines of 'Occam's Razor'."

"I have to admit, it does seem to work given the circumstances." replies Genevieve before adding "We'll be in touch."

As the two most powerful beings in Warping leave Bishops, a new sense of meaning filled his being. The next 28 days were spent not only honing his own skills, but helping to hone the skills of the rest of his inner circle. The canon events of episode 3 finally begin to unfold.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)**

 **Another day, another boring homeroom class. You know, after the last 30 days of doing all sorts of crap with the guy who made my "dad" his bitch, I've tended to start noticing things a lot more closely.** Turns out that being an EVA pilot tends to draw some attention from well...pretty much everyone in the classroom, especially since I only have to attend a single class a day. Just after the bell rings and I can get the hell out of dodge, I wind up getting hit with a left hook from some jerk who had some other guy with glasses hanging around.

"Sorry 'bout that, but since I can't wail on guys who work for the government, I'll just have to settle for decking you for what happened to my little sister."

I can only respond "Well that's what happens when the government employs untrained 14 year olds to do their dirty work. I'm sorry about whatever the hell happened to your family members, but what happened was completely out of my control."

"Quit hiding behind such a lame excuse, you power tool! Not only did your little fight with the giant freak leave my family without any place to go home to, but when we were leaving the city, your dumb robot trashed one of the major highways out of the city, which lead to my little sister getting the brunt of a car accident, breaking most of her bones."

I get dropped to the ground when the rough and tumble jerk finally decides to give up on punching me and walked off in a huff before the guy with glasses decides to speak up.

"Listen, don't take it too hard. Toji's just having a really hard time since the last Angel attack, what with having his home trashed and his sister in the hospital. Did they really send you out there without formal training?"

"Yeah, and if anyone should get a chewing out, it's the government for actually thinking that sending teenagers to fight giant monsters was a good idea." was the only response I can give.

"You know, I could say that I was pretty jealous of you for being a true blue mech pilot, but after hearing about that, I guess that jealousy's kinda lessened. You must have it pretty rough."

My answer: "You have no idea."

He walks off before I find Rei standing right behind me as she tells me that another Angel decided to rear its ugly head. Time to go to work, I guess.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **Here we go, second Angel of canon to try and start the apocalypse decides to show up, and with that, another herald for me to fight before taking on the big guy.** Time for me to give Occam's Razor its proper debut. Jessie and I were in the command center of NERV HQ as she turns to me and asks "Time to play the hero again, sir?"

To which I reply "More or less. Any good ideas for a cover story?"

She answers "I believe I have one." before acting "Sir, didn't you have some additional forms to fill out regarding the budget for weapons development that still needed filling out?"

My response: "Damn, and I was hoping to actually command the mission this time. Katsuragi, you're in charge. Doc, you and the bridge bunnies help the pilot as much as possible. And Ikari, just sit down and keep your fat mouth shut, it's pretty much the only thing you're good at."

We exit the command room as Musashi tells me to be careful out there before I reassure her and rush off into battle. Alright, time to give my new sword its grand debut. I arrive in the grassy field where the Angel's being better contained thanks to me finally getting those Anti-Angel weapon upgrades in and implementing them into the JSSDF's weaponry as I can see the herald, making its way through the fields in an attempt to take out the human defenses.

"All Lilim tools of destruction are no match for I, the herald of Shamshel, Angel of the Morning. Prepare to fall, Lilim dregs."

Right before he was able to attack a nearby missile truck, I was able to give the freakalope a swift kick to the gut, sending it back as I go in to intercept as I hear one of the soldiers go "Hey, it's that vigilante guy that took down the smaller monster last month!" as another goes "Maybe we should let him deal with the little guy while we help deal with the big one with the big purple bot."

"Alright, you better say your prayers, because you and your big buddy are going down." I say to the human sized Kaiju before it responds "You were the one who felled our brother Sachiel. For the sake of our masters Adam, you must die so that our mission to bring about the end of the Lilim. So says I: the herald of Shamshel, Angel of the Morning."

"Yeah, that's kinda like what the last one said, and you and I both know how that ended, sooooo..."

 _ **(Track Change: Tekken 4 OST- Parking Garage stage theme)**_

The fight kicks off with me and the tentacled jackass trading blows at near mach speed before he manages to rope my left leg up with one of his energy tentacles and swings me back down to the ground. Before he can make this a repeat performance, I was able to thankfully cut through the energy using Occam's Razor before getting back on my feet and charging in for a counter attack, leading to the two of us to clash in a duel of whips and swords as I manage to land a nice cut into the chest armor it was sporting.

The herald was done playing games as it tells me "Alright, enough of this. You've earned the right to die at the hand of my full power, Lilim filth. Meet your doom at the hands of my ultimate attack."

I can already tell it was powering up as multiple whips start spawning out of its body while I get my sword ready for what's to come.

"This is your end! **"Fangs of Dark Justice, Thousand Stinging Lashes"**!"

"Looks like I'll need to step up my game earlier than expected. Kaio Ken x5 combined with "Giga Sword Hyper Storm Surge"!"

The clash was lightning fast, but I was able to counter everything he threw and then some before overpowering it enough to send it flying back into a nearby hill. Time to finish the first part of the job.

"This has been fine and all, but I still have your big friend to deal with, so I'm gonna end this now with something I've been working on over the last few weeks. **"Giga Sword Shadowless Thrust"**!"

With a swift stab to the chest, part one of this fight was over, and just in time as EVA Unit-01 came crashing down with Shinji already rescuing Toji and Kensuke.

"Kid, what's going on in there? We're picking up 2 additional life signatures inside the Entry Plug."

Ikari replies "These two jerks thought it'd be a good idea to sneak out of a shelter and video tape the battle. If I didn't find them when I did, they'd most likely be dead by now."

To which Misato responds "Oh, this is bad. Listen, your power cable's been disconnected, and you've only got less than 5 minutes of energy left. Retreat back into the city so we can work out a new plan."

"Misato, that plan makes absolutely zero sense. If I have that much time to finish the job, it should be put towards at least pushing the thing into retreat so we actually have time to come up with a new plan. And besides, if I lead that thing into the city, even more civilian lives would be put into risk."

"This isn't up for discussion, just fall back for now!"

 _ **(Track Change: "Free Your Heat" by Galveston 19- Kamen Rider W/Double OST)**_

Unit-01 readies one of it's Progressive Knives as I can sense something inside the EVA's cockpit. As if something inside of Shinji was triggering.

"If there's a chance to stop this thing right here and now, then I have to take it. So I'm going to end this battle **now!** "

I can sense this surge of unknown energy, not quite divine and not quite a power up form either as Unit-01 receives the same sort of boost as it begins to charge at the big Angel and begins a series of swift stabbing strikes, giving me the perfect cover to really end it. With one shot from the Angel Unmaker, the creep's core starts to corrode while I use one final Ki surge to mimic an explosion. This fight was over, but now it was time to wrap up the loose ends. After certain events that would tie into the next canon episode, I find myself inside of Tokyo 3's best hospital where I was able to find Sakura Suzuhara's room, and needless to say, she looked like she had seen better days. Just my luck that her brother and Kensuke were there with her.

"You're one of those NERV suits, aren't you? What the hell do you want?" says Toji as bluntly as possible.

My response: "I was made aware of the damages done to your home and your loved ones during the battle against Sachiel, and on behalf of NERV, I've come to offer you a means of making amends."

Of course the boy who'd later on become the ill-fated pilot of Unit-03 was defensive towards my offer as he responds "Our home was destroyed along with priceless family relics and my sister was put in the hospital because of your pilot's inadequacy, why should I trust you?"

"While I may not be able to replace all of your family's treasures, but I can at least have your home repaired with your more replaceable items updated enough with modern tech. As for your sibling, I believe I have a solution that should help with her recovery."

That's when I find that her jaw isn't broken, and pull out a little something to speed up the recovery process.

"Here you are, miss. Just eat this, and you'll be back on your feet in no time."

"Whoa whoa whoa! Just what the hell are you feeding my sister anyway?!"

"Just watch." I reply as Sakura swallows the Senzu bean right before it goes right to work doing what it does best. Of course she'd be in shock of the results as she comments "I...I feel great. I feel like the accident never even happened, if not better."

Kensuke pretty much asks out of shock of what's happening "What was that thing you gave her? Normally breaking nearly every bone in your body should take at least a full 6 months to recover, if not a few years."

My answer: "Nothing too special. Just something that a connection of mine discovered. Now, as I had said before, I may not be able to replace certain things that were lost in the destruction of your home, but perhaps I can offer you something else in exchange."

I'd expect Toji to still be on the fence about my offer as I hear him respond "Just because you fixed my sister's injuries and offer to replace most of our stuff doesn't mean that I'm just gonna forgive NERV for what it did, especially that pilot they sent out."

"Toji, you need to at least hear him out. If he's this serious about wanting to make things right by us, then the least we can do is hear what he has to say and offer." was what came from Sakura's mouth surprisingly as she was chiding her brother for just saying no to accepting someone's attempt at an apology before adding "We're more than willing to listen to what you have to offer."

"Thank you, young lady. What I have to offer is for the three of you to become apart of a little apprenticeship program that I've started up. You'd only have to go to school for one class a day, and you'd actually get to learn how to do things that will allow you to accomplish amazing things in the future. Things that this city has failed to offer your generation. So can I at least get you to consider accepting?"

Kensuke was the first to respond as he states "One class a day in school and the opportunity to learn about stuff other than Second Impact. That's pretty tempting."

Next came Sakura as she answers "You managed to do for me what medical science could only dream of doing as fast. I guess it's only fair that I should at least try your offer for a while, kinda like a trial period."

This of course left Toji flabbergasted as he questioned his sister's reasoning.

"You can't be serious, right? I mean you can't just accept an offer from a stranger, no matter what they do for you to sway your opinion."

"Toji."

He finally caves in to his sister's wishes and says "Alright, fine. We'll try your trial. But only for a month, and if she's going anywhere, she has to have me with her at all times."

I respond "Perfectly acceptable."

Kensuke eventually decided to join the trial too as my pieces were falling into place. Before the end of the week leading to episode 4's canon, they were going to be able to stand on their own terms, and I would hopefully have 3 new allies in my battle against both the Angels and NERV.

 _(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)_

 **(** **Current Power Levels:**

 **Desmond Bishops/me: 654,500 (Max Safe Kaio Ken: 12,435,500 at x19)/26,180,000 in False Super Saiyan/32,725,000 in "Super Spiral"**

 **Mura Tenin/Kage: 4,795,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: 2178/49,700 ("Unknown Power Burst")**

 **Toji Suzuhara: 6**

 **Kensuke Aida: 4**

 **Sakura Suzuhara: 2 (Heavily Injured)**

 **Hikari Horaki: 4**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Jessaline Musashi: 26**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 519* (All Rei Clones are born with a Power Level of at least 100 due to their mixture of human and Angel DNA and grow in power the longer they'll stay in the big LCL tank from episode 23. So expect Rei III and any possible future clones to be more powerful than her when they get out due to this factor. Ki use is unavailable due to lack of formal training.)**

 **Ritusko Akagi: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Makoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Fuyutsuki: 4**

 **Wynn Miyabi: 10 1/2**

 **Eria Aoi: 15**

 **Lyna Hikari: 17**

 **Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 3800**

 **Tulio Rodriguez: 764,980**

 **Akira Blackthorn: Unknown, cannot be traced.**

 **Genevieve Blackthorn I: Unknown, cannot be traced.**

 **Shamshel: Angel of Morning: 4,500,000**

 **Herald of Shamshel: Angel of Morning: 2,250,000**

 **EVA Unit-01: 1,230,000 (Sych Rate: 34.11%)/ 4,011,684 (Unknown Power Burst)**

 **Others to Come: ?**

 **(Author's Note: Next time, secrets are revealed as the canon events of episode 4 are replaced with something new.)**


	8. Episode 4's Canon (doesn't) Happen

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 8: Episode 4's Canon (doesn't) Happen/Crap's Starting to (really) Get Real**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, Family Guy to Seth McFarlane, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **Three days, that's how long me, Shinji, Toji, Kensuke and Sakura have** **been touring the** **Multiverse** , **solving problems and taking care of business.** Where were we now, you may ask? Fighting off a horde of robotic drones based off Seth McFarlane's fat rat bastard himself, Peter Griffin. I was hacking them down using Occam's Razor, Shinji was manhandling 'em with a Katana, Toji was plowing right through the disgusting things using a single bladed battle ax while Kensuke rammed them with a copy of Xaldin from Kingdom Heart's lance and Sakura was holding her own with a pink bladed Lightsaber. The combined force of the 5 of us were making quick work of the drones as I can remember exactly what lead us to this certain situation.

 **(General View Flashback)**

 **Shinji, Misato and Desmond were sitting in one of the locker rooms after the battle against the 4th Angel where Misato was giving Shinji a verbal lashing.**

 **"Do you have any idea how reckless your actions were out there? If Unit-01's power supply hadn't held out for as long as it did, not only would you three knuckleheads be dead by now, but the whole planet would've been done for. What do you have to say for yourself?"**

 **Shinji simply replies "The Angel was slain, there weren't any civilian casualties, and as far as I see it, your organization is gonna get seen in a brighter light for saving those two guys compared to just following your plan which need I remind you, was pretty much doomed to fail no matter what due to your distinct lack of including oh, I don't know, logic?"**

 **"Are you accusing me of something, you little..."**

 **Desmond knew when it was time to step in, and stopped the fight from reaching a breaking point by chiming in "Alright, that's enough! Misato, I can agree with you that Shinji's disobedience isn't something that can be tolerated within a para-military organization."**

 **"Thank you."**

 **He continues by adding "However, Shinji has a point. His actions may have been reckless, but he not only managed to save those two civilians, but also defeated the Angel without any casualties to the innocent. And as for your retreat strategy, I can honestly say that it was severely flawed at the very least, if not completely more reckless than what the boy did. Letting that freak of nature into the city would've caused not only more pointless deaths among the population, but would risk the the chance of it getting in contact with Lilith and causing what can only be described as the end of the freaking world."**

 **Shinji snarks in with "See? Even he agrees that your plan was absolute trash."**

 **"You stay out of this, you annoying..."**

 **Before things could get any worse, Desmond interrupted "Hold on. Obviously you two need some time apart unless you want things to escalate to points where none of us can get anything done around here, so why don't I take the boy on an apprenticeship retreat for a little while so the two of you can properly cool off?"**

 **Misato's answer: "Fine by me. You wanna take the little headache, then take him for as long as you want. Let's see how long you last with him."**

 **To which Shinji replies "Perfect, that way, I don't have to deal with your drunken nonsense or you pops out of nowhere penguin every damn day."**

 **"Fine!"**

 **"Fine!"**

 **"FINE!"**

 **"FINE!"**

 **Desmond turns to Shinji as Misato storms out of the rooms before saying "You know, you really shouldn't egg her on. Her plan might not have been the best, but at least she was trying to do right."**

 **To which Shinji responds "Why are you defending her? She's a drunken idiot who has no right being in command of anything, let alone taking care of another human being."**

 **"Have you ever considered that maybe she's actually trying to be nice to you in order to give you a chance at a normal life instead of just leaving you in the lurch like your jackass of an old man?"**

 **This left Shinji to think about it for a moment before Bishops added "Come on, maybe some time away from one another might just do you two some good. We just have to pick up a few more people, and we can head out."**

 **To which Shinji asks "And just who do you mean by "a few more people?"**

 **Which Bishops responds to by answering "You'll see."**

 **(Back in the present, but still in general perspective with no specific P.O.V. given)**

As the battle rages on, we can see Shinji and Toji back to back cutting down hoards of disgraces to the state of Rhode Island by the dozen as we hear Toji pipe up "Hey uh, listen, in case we don't make it out of here alive, I guess I should at least say that I'm sorry for you know, clocking you a few days back."

Shinji responds after cutting down another fat bastard by going "Yeah, well I might have deserved it for kinda being an ass with how I reacted to hearing about what happened to your family. What made you wanna apologize at a time like this?"

"Well after the whole deal with the tentacle monster, Kensuke and I went to go visit my sister at the hospital, and then after I told her about what happened between you and I, she kinda let me have it saying that how I reacted wasn't much better, so she kinda "convinced" me to apologize to you for what happened. So, we cool or what?"

"Yeah, I guess we are."

Sakura witnesses the whole scene as she stabs her Lightsaber into the head of a Griffin before replying "See, now that wasn't that hard, wasn't it?"

Causing Bishops to respond "If you guys have time to make amends with one another, then you got time to carve up these assholes, so get to it."

 _ **(Track Change: "Edge of Soul"- Soul Edge/Soul Blade OST)**_

The onslaught continues as our 5 warriors do battle against the horde, taking them out in droves until who arrives but the original version of the fat bastard the clones were based off of, descending down from the sky with his trademark stupid laugh.

"We are legion. We shall overtake all realities, bringing destruction wherever we go, and diddling in whoever we please for the sake of self gratification (points to Sakura), Starting with her."

Of course her brother upon hearing that last statement was having none of it, as the 5 charge up their power and charge towards the original with weapons drawn. The battle and the song finally come to a halt when Bishops manages to deal a cross slash to the main Peter using both Occam's Razor and his Ultimate Rising Titan Sword, putting an end to a potential threat to the multiverse.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **Well, after defeating a possible multiverse spanning threat, I'd say that we earned a day off from training back at the penthouse.** The whole team pretty much plops down on my couch as we enjoy some well earned peace and quiet...until Lyna shows up and says "Wow, you guys are home early. Weren't you five supposed to be gone for the whole week?"

Which I respond "We're just taking a quick breather, Lyna. We'll be back out there tomorrow once I've restocked our supplies."

Which she adds on to by asking "So does that mean you're going to planet Creation to get more Senzu beans from Merch or some other Reality Warper store?"

Yep, she let the cat out of the bag as I'm bombarded with questions such as "What's a Reality Warper?", "There's a planet Creation? Where's that?" and "What is she talking about?". Well, time to come clean, but this time it's gonna happen the way I wanted it to happen.

"Alright, listen up: in order to answer your questions, I'm gonna have to show you guys some things. And once you see them, your worlds will never be the same."

26 anime episodes and 5 movies later, the four of them were in shock of what they just say with mouths agape as I go *"Yeah, as you can see, one of my main reasons for coming here was to prevent the events of what you just saw from happening. And now that I was forced to expose to you that your world is the creation of a being from Earth Prime, that makes you members in the same group as I am too."*

Toji was the first one to pipe up by going "Wait, so you mean to tell us that... **we're not even real?!** "

Kensuke took it even worse shouting " **Everything I know is a lie! Up is down! Forward is sideways! Coca-Cola and Pepsi are the same thing! 2 PLUS 2 EQUALS FISH!** "

Amazingly out of all of them, Sakura was taking it in stride as she was just asking questions like "Does this mean that since we're fictional, we can go into other shows like Adventure Time?", "Can I buy my own Sonic Riders style hoverboard?" and "Do we get special episodes dedicated to just themselves now that they know they aren't real?". stuff like that. But Shinji on the other hand was pretty much caught in a state of shock and rage that everything wrong that's been done to him across multiple realities were at the hands of some jerk on Earth Prime, just because he was depressed at the time of the series' creation. Needless to say, he was beyond pissed. More like enraged beyond any sense of anger management could undo.

"Yes, this certainly is quite the shocking revelation." he says in between teeth clenched in a furious and deranged looking smile. "Pardon me, there's something I have to deal with. I'll be right back."

The boy then grabs the portal gun from the coffee table and fires it off, heading towards most likely the mountain campsite where he and Kensuke conversed at during canon episode 4 and unleashes a series of vicious words that should never be repeated anywhere, lest I risk getting any account I'd post this story on shut down. What I can tell you was that words that were about as bad as taking the "C" word for girls, the "N" word for people with African origins, the "F" word for gay people, and mixing them together with all the remaining bad words for the Jewish were involved. When he came back, we could just look at him with a strange mixture of shock, anger, pity, and strangely indigestion as Shinji asks "What? Am I not allowed to vent my frustrations on the situation?"

Leaving Kensuke to just go "Dude, did you kiss your mom with that mouth?"

Which he simply replies "Yes, and don't rub it in."

As we were recovering from that sudden bit of well...language, out comes our dear associate Tulio with forms in hand and a look of partial exhaustion.

"Oh boy. Lemme guess, one of the maids said something and forced your hand to squeal about the Warper's secret, pops?"

I can only reply "Pretty much" before adding "I'm guessing the Order hasn't been letting up on having you on duty?" as he responds "Nope. Now that one of our registry agents got promoted to the elite council, there's been a bit of a shortage of registration operatives to do the dirty work, so I've been pulling double duty."

Of course this got me a bit curious, so I ask "Which one of you guys made elite?" as he answers "Goes by the name of Gilda Von Gira, she's pretty much a human version of a female Gyarados from Pokemon, so don't piss her off. Kinda feel bad for her too, wound up getting promoted right at the start of the rise of a new major threat."

Oh great, another threat to the multiverse. I ask "Who is it this time? evil Pinkie Pie? a Warper Madara Uchiha? Zarkon from Legendary Defender?"

His answer: "Worse. Turns out that Dill managed to cheat death by transferring her Flames of Creation into a new body, even picking up a new sidekick in the form of a Warper version of that one evil Morty to help do her dirty work."

 **She's still alive?! What the hell?! I thought I was rid of her when Genevieve Jr. capped her ass back on Shin Vega!**

"Please tell me that the Order is looking into this."

The answer I get: "We kinda are, but with the actions of Pinkamena, our resources are being stretched to our near limits. So in the meantime, the only thing guys like me can really do is help new Warpers get registered and hope they can become powerful enough to actually fend off these guys."

Eventually, I was expecting one of the kids to start asking questions regarding the Order, and Sakura was willing to step up to the plate by going "Uh, how exactly does this Order thing do stuff with Warper registration? Is there some sort of ranking system which tells us who's the most powerful or something?"

Which Rodriguez responds "It's actually goes more like this: you see, you guys were only level 3 status until your little binge watch-a-thon revealed the secret to you and made you level 4. Being level 4 status simply means that you're aware of the 4th wall and can break it at any time. And since you guys already started with training with stuff like Ki control, you shouldn't be that far behind to reaching level 5 status, allowing you to alter the universe you're in at will until you reach the most common rank for fictional characters: level 6, meaning that you'll be able to freely travel the Multiverse without too much trouble with making portals."

Prompting Kensuke to ask "So if we're level 4, what levels are you guys?"

Tulio's answer: "Well since I was the creation of a level 7 Warper from Earth Prime, the people responsible for creating the timelines we can travel to and from through fan works, it would make me level 8 since I serve as an extension of that Warper's thought. With enough training, I could reach the second most powerful rank in all of Warping, level 9. Pops here on the other hand happens to be one of the rarest ranked Warpers of 'em all: level 10. Their control over the very life force of all things: the Flames of Creation is completely unmatched to the point where I can easily say that they are **not** to be messed with. Got it?"

Hearing about the power of a level 10 wound up getting Toji to finally ask a question of his own as he goes "So if level 10 ones are so rare and powerful, just how many of them are there?"

The answer he got even surprised me as Rodriguez responded "Well, between the Blackthorn family which as far as I know currently has about 13 members, CherieRoseLoveless and her daughter, a Speed Force user who's been based in a Death Note timeline, and a newer addition to the group who's been operation out of planet Zen Kuro's version of Lakewood Plaza Turbo, I'd say 18 including Pops here, but I have heard rumors that some more level 10 ones are hanging around some of the uncharted territories."

Wow, that few of us. Kinda makes a guy think...at least until he mentioned a little thing that was unfortunately a staple of any government: taxes.

"You know, Pops, if these guys are under your watch, you could probably get a little extra credits when it comes time for your tax refund. Your little friends over there should probably consider doing what's pretty much our version of Turbo Tax in case they need help with their returns come next year too."

Leading Toji to go "Wait, we have to pay taxes?" as Rodriguez answers "Sorry, them's the breaks with Warper law when you use the same age system as Pokemon: once you hit 10, you may be able to drink, smoke, drive, and plow as much as you want, but you still have to face the consequences of your actions, which may be minimal just as long as you don't travel to Earth Prime or commit any form of sexual misconduct, but still."

After an exchange of paperwork for gift baskets, Rodriguez says "Alright, everything's up to snuff. If you could at for at least a few more canon episodes maybe **not** bring anyone else in on the secret, it'd really help me out because I've already got a crap ton on my plate as is."

Which I reply to by saying "We'll do our best not to, but I can't guarantee that anything's gonna come up to force our hand."

"At this point, I'll take what I can get. Anyways, hopefully the next time we see each other, it won't have to do with registration matters. Later, Pops."

After he steps back into the portal, I'm left to face the others with some choice words.

"I know that what you've just experienced may have been something that shouldn't be wished upon your own worst enemies, but I had a reason to do it. Remember when I said that I was here to prevent any version of what you saw from happening, which leads to the reason why I showed you what I did. Each of you has been dealt a bad hand at the hands of NERV and SELEE in one way, shape or form or the other. Toji, it's because of Gendo's jackassery that Shinji was forced to either leave you stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, turned into a pile of orange goop, and you don't wanna know what happened to you in the original manga."

Of course hearing that leads Toji to ask "Wait, our show has a manga adaptation? What happens to me in that?"

"Like I said, you don't wanna know. Sakura, because NERV sent an untrained pilot into battle without any weapons that could properly damage the Angel from a safe distance, they were able to use you as a bargaining tool in the TV series, and even when you were able to recover in the Rebuild continuity, Misato's faction merely used you for cheap child labor. Kensuke, Angel #16 left you pretty much homeless when Unit-00 self destructed in the TV series, and like everyone else, you wound up being turned into goop because of Gendo and SELEE's evil machinations. And Shinji, what's there to say that hasn't already been said or seen?"

All that the boy can say is "Damn straight."

"Yes. Well then, my point is that each of you has been wronged in the majority of timelines due to forces thinking of only bringing about the destruction of the Earth, regardless of what they tell you about your mission. Which is why I have a proposal for each of you: how would you all like to actually win this time around?"

Toji voiced his opinion first by going "If NERV's really responsible for all that stuff, then they need to go down. Hardcore. So count me in, coach."

Next came Sakura who responded "If my big brother is gonna be fighting these guys, then I wanna be there to back him up. Count me in too."

Then Kensuke chimed in by stating "Count me in too. I can't believe I was amazed by these guys, what they've done in those timelines is worse than what Hitler, Sadam, Pol Pot, and Bin Ladin have ever done combined."

Finally came our dear boy Shinji, who's answer was a bit more how should I put this...vicious.

"After thinking this over, I have decided to help you take down these Angel freaks and prevent the apocalypse, under the condition that I get to tear each and every last one of those assholes limb from limb, one by one."

I had to reel him back in for a moment as I tell him "Hold on there, kid. we can't just wipe 'em all out in one shot. Despite having the ability to alter the universe around us, we still have to keep some aspects of canon into play. Which is why I've come up with a plan: since I already dealt with SELEE back when I first got here by accident, we won't really have to deal with them for the time being. In technicality, we'll still have to deal with the Angels as they come while also dealing with their heralds. I've dealt with the last two without too much trouble, but there's most likely gonna come a time when I'm going to need help, which is why you guys are being trained like you are."

"Hold up, you're the vigilante guy that's been all over the news?!" asked Toji in shock of the revelation.

"Yes, and if the need comes for it, then you guys will be joining me in the battle while Shinji deals with the larger counterparts using the EVA. Once I can get someone to upgrade the gun I've been using to help take down the bigger Angels, we can release the souls inside of the EVAs so they can face proper judgement for their actions in Other World."

Leading Shinji to ask "And THEN can we tear those guys limb from limb?"

"I'm getting to that. Now then, I'll probably be dealing with Lilith early just so we can keep things permanently swayed in our favor, maybe do something with all the Rei clones that are in the sub levels of the base."

Shinji starts going "And THEN..." before I interrupt by stating "AND THEN you can tear them limb from limb! That good enough for you?"

All he says is "That is acceptable."

"Right. Now then, we've all put in a lot of effort out there today. Let's take the rest of the day to rest up and relax because we're getting right back at it first thing in the morning."

After hearing that, Toji, Sakura and Kensuke pretty much meld themselves into the couch while Shinji takes off somewhere. I know that learning the Warper's secret can have some pretty randomized reactions, but why do I have the feeling that his way of dealing with it is gonna be troublesome. In all the randomness that happened over spilling the beans, I failed to realize that we were short 4 energy signatures.

"Lyna, you wouldn't happen to know where Jessie, Wynn, Eria and Ami are, would you?"

She answers "Eria and Ami are doing some errands on Planet Creation before picking up Wynn who's attending her Warper's anxiety support group, and I haven't called Jessie yet today, but she's probably dealing with NERV stuff."

Well that makes me feel somewhat better, but I could tell something either embarrassing for me or for someone else was about to go down. And if I was wrong, then let a Warper version of Derpy Hooves come rushing through the sliding doors leading to the penthouse pool and knock me right off my feet. Probably should've rephrased that since next thing I knew, I was down flat on my back as the tiny talking horse in question goes "Hello." right on top of me.

 **(General P.O.V. Shift: no certain character in question)**

Well Bishops had every reason to be concerned as the scene shifts of a random bar on Planet Creation where we can see Shinji at the counter with a glass of Jack Daniels in hand. Alone with his thoughts until his solitude is interrupted by a mysterious girl in a violet sweatshirt with the picture of a large vulture on it along with dark red skinny jeans and black high top shoes. She asks "This seat taken?" as the third child replies "It's a free Multiverse."

She sits down next to the Ikari boy before he notices the bandages around her eyes and asks "Mind if I ask what's up with your eyes?" as the girl responds "Let's just say that I had a little eye work done and leave it at that."

A quick moment of silence was broken when the bartender hands over a plate saying to the mystery girl "Here's the fish and chips you ordered."

To which she responds to by saying "I believe that this was supposed to come with tartar sauce." as he tosses the packet before getting surprised when she actually caught it and said "Thank you."

Shinji had to ask after seeing what he just saw "Wait, if your eyes are all bandaged up, how the hell did you catch that?"

Which she replies by saying "What can I say, I've got good reflexes." before the bartender comes back with a blue drink saying "And here's your Aquatar Sunrise."

The third child looks at the drink with interest before asking "That any good?"

The mystery girl turns to the third and answers "You really think you can handle something like this?"

Leading the young Ikari to respond "You don't think I can handle it? Well, little miss...uh, what's your name?"

"Just call me Lark."

"Right." He continues before adding "Well, little miss Lark, how about you let me put my money where my mouth is?"

"Alright, suit yourself. Barkeep, let's get another one of these over here."

The barkeep hands our man of the moment the same drink before saying "Take my advice here, kid: you might wanna go easy on these."

Within an instant, both drinks were downed with furious velocity. Shinji then goes "Oh yeah, that hit the spot. You know, I'm actually starting to feel better about the whole "being the universe's canon punching bag" thing already. However, I'm not quite fully over it yet, so how 'bout we go again?"

Leading Lark to respond "I like the way you think. Waiter, let's get another round over here."

"Here you go, but seriously, you really oughta consider going light with these."

Unfortunately for our bartender, his cries fall on deaf ears as Shinji and the hooded girl down their second glasses in a matter of seconds before Shinji says already showing signs of being drunk "Oh Mr. Waiter, two more please."

With each drink, you could easily see them getting more and more plastered with Shinji going "Waiter." after number 3, "Oh, waiter." after his fourth, singing "Waiter!" after drink number 5, slurring "Wai-toor!" after number 6 and slamming his hands on the counter and angrily shouting "WAITER!" after his seventh.

The bartender could only go "They never listen to me." before witnessing what happened next: both of them getting on a stage with 'ol Shinji holding a cane like a microphone and drunkenly going "Alright, folks, this next one goes out to my two new bestest friends in the whole world: Larky, and this robot piano playing guy! It's a little ditty called..."

Both of them just sing "WAITORRRRRR!" before falling on their backs on stage, black out drunk. While our two little drunkards deal with the stresses of Warper life through booze and shenanigoats, others choose to deal with their problems through a more constructive form of means.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Wynn Miyabi)**

 **W-wait, you're doing a point of view shift on me? I am not ready for this!** Wh-what do you mean it's in my contract? Wouldn't you rather get a perspective from someone like Ms. Musashi or Mr. Bishops? Alright, but I just wanna go on record saying that I'm not comfortable with this. Alright, well, as you can see, after Eria, Lyna, Ms. Musashi and I learned that we weren't exactly real, I didn't really take it very well. And I wound up finding a special support group with Warpers who have trouble with anxiety and a wide array of mental conditions, which is where we are now. It's technically my turn to talk about stuff in front of the others, and I guess I should really speak my mind.

"It's been really really hard for me to adjust to this. I know I've had over a month to deal with this, but I'm starting to feel like it's impossible to do. Not that you guys haven't helped me, i-if anything, you've made this a whole lot more easier for me, but I'm still having a lot of trouble with all of this Warper stuff."

That's when the doctor responsible for leading the group tells me "Well dat's why we're all here, doll. You goyles have da ability to suppot each otha in more ways than ya know. You sharin' ya story helps out a lot more than ya know, this way, we'll be able to really work on da problem areas you're havin, and hopefully, you'll be able to get around ta handlin' things a whole lot easier because of it. Thank you fa sharin', Ms. Miyabi. Now den, anyone else got anything they wanna share? Progress, special events, anything like dat?"

I can see the version of Talim from Soul Calibur stand up and respond "Well I think you'll be happy to know that I've used the things I've learned here in order to socialize more among other fighting game character Warpers, and I've even gotten a date with a version of Asuka Kazama from our sibling series Tekken."

That leads our doctor to reply "Nice, she's a pretty good lookin' lady for a goyle your age. Anyone else wanna share something?"

Then a version of Velvet from RWBY stood up and said "I managed to get a job as a secretary for Uzumaki Corp in my new home dimension."

"Atta goyle, climb dat corporate ladda. Who else wants ta share something?"

As Velvet sat down, the Murasaki and Murakumo from Senran Kagura in our group stood up as Murasaki said "I've actually gone...outside more often this last week, and Murakumo's been wearing her mask a lot less in public." as Murakumo adds "And I've actually worked up the guts to submit a one shot to one of my favorite manga magazines if that means anything."

"Well dat's something to be proud of. So how about our little Equestria goyle? Got anything to say, Fluttahon?"

I then see our version of Equestria Girls Fluttershy stand up and say "Oh, well, my friends and I are having a special party for our Rarity's birthday, and they said if any of you guys wanted to join us, that'd be okay."

"Well alright, dat might be somethin' fa me and Red to do. Aw crap, we're outta time. Alright, goyles, let's wrap things up here and pick things up next week."

Each of us stands back up and gathers our things to get ready to leave. While I was grabbing my handbag to wait for Eria to pick me up, I get stopped by the Talim, Murakumo and Muraskaki in our group as Talim ask "Um, Ms. Miyabi, we were wondering if you had any plans for later today."

I turn around and reply "I have to meet Eria soon since she's my way home, why do you ask?"

I get my answer from Murakumo who says "The three of us were planning on going to a version of New Domino City, but the three of us are too uneasy with going with just each other. We were gonna ask Velvet, but she said she was gonna hang out with that version of Pird from OK, KO that Kaze Gray is living in. And Fluttershy is busy with helping to plan her Rarity's birthday."

I could easily understand where they were coming from, I don't think that I could even last 5 seconds there by myself with all of the virtual monster holograms, even with the more...crush worthy girl monsters.

"Maybe I could convince someone to go with me and meet with you guys if you could maybe plan on going at a later time. I mean if that's okay with you guys."

They tell me that they can do that as the four of us walk out together as I see Eria and Ami waiting for me by the main door. Eria gives me a kiss on the cheek before asking "So, how was today's session?" as I reply that it went okay before asking her what was in her shopping bags.

Then she answers "Well we're probably gonna need more healing items for the boss and those kids he's training once he gets back, so I figured that I might as well stock up while we were out. I also grabbed us some stuff like adjustable weights that should help with the physical parts of Warper training, a couple books on elemental magic, some capsule vehicles in case we need to go incognito with our abilities. Oh, and there was this one shop on the way over here that was having a sale, and I totally scored the four of us some fetch outfits for a great price."

I ask to see what she got, but she tells me "Uh uh, little ms. nosey. You and Lyna can see what I got us when we get home."

That's when she notices the other girls with me and asks them what was going on with them before hearing about their planned trip to New Domino City.

"Hmm, hot duelists in racing catsuits, sexy female trading card game monsters, gearheads with a penchant for playing card games on motorcycles at speeds that could kill them if they aren't careful, yeah, you guys are gonna need some company. If you guys can hold off on going until this weekend, then Wynn and I could go with you guys if you want. We could even ask Lyna if she wants to go too."

They were all for the idea as we part ways back to our little home in Tokyo 3. In all honesty, I was a bit surprised to see the others home this early, considering that Mr. Bishops said that he'd be gone for the whole week.

Eria goes "Sir, you're home early. What happened, did some important NERV stuff come up so you could keep your cover?"

I could sense that he could easily lie and say something like that happened, but it looked like his better instincts get the upper hand as he wind up responding "I wish. We ran low on healing items during a few skirmishes while we were training, so we're gonna take the rest of today to relax, then we're gonna have to head to Planet Creation to restock and it's right back to the grind. We only have 3 more days until the next canon episode's events are supposed to take place, but with everything I've done so far that's altered it, I don't even know IF that episode is even gonna happen. Hell, I don't even know if the events of THIS episode are gonna happen in any way, shape, or form."

Lucky for him, Eria holds up a shopping bag and says "Well I thought you guys might need to do something like that before you came home, so Ami and I stocked up while we were waiting for Wynn to get done with her therapy session."

"You are a lifesaver, Ms. Aoi. You too, Ami."

Ami simply responds "I am at your service, master."

It was a nice moment of peace...until the boss got the call from a random bar saying that Shinji was black out drunk and he needed to come and get him.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **I hate being right.** One trip to Planet Creation later, and I find the place where I can see the kid passed out and brick faced next to a girl in the same condition as him. I start tapping his body with my foot and start going "Alright, time to wake up, kid. Scoop up your friend and let's let the guys who're just doing their job do what they have to do while we go home."

After a few more pokes, he finally starts getting up with the clear signs of a hangover all around him as he starts going "Ow, my head. What happened last night?"

I'm not surprised her remembers nothing about what happened last night, so I answer his question by stating "You and mystery girl here got drunk and made complete fools out of yourselves in the process before blacking out. There are better ways to deal with your problems outside of violence and alcohol, I hope you realize this."

After hearing all that, the boy can only tell me "Really, you're choosing now to give me a-ah, dammit. There's no way I can even finish that sentence, I am hung over."

You know, he's lucky that I thought ahead of coming here, as I pull out something that I picked up at a nearby pharmacy before heading to the bar in question and hand him it: a bottle of pills specially designed to counteract the effects of a hangover in a matter of seconds.

"Take one of these and give another to your friend, they'll clear out the effects of the hangover and make it so that you two can walk out of here with at least some of your dignity left."

Shinji takes his and quickly shows signs of recovery before walking over to the other girl as I can hear him say "Hey, Larky, I got something for you to get you back on your feet."

She winds up waking up groggily and takes the pill before she asks "Yeesh, how many of those things did we put away?" as Shinji answers "I...kinda lost count after 11."

I already thought that was an extreme amount of booze, but the bartender just makes things worse by saying "Oh, please. I had to make you little drunks 21 Aquatar Surprises each before you finally went down for the count."

Hearing that only lead me to say "Well I hope that your little night on the town was worth the double amount of training you'll be doing to make up for your lack of control. And as for your lady friend, I'm sure that her group is looking to figure out where she is."

I wind up a little bit surprised when I hear the girl say "I don't really do groups, I've been doing solo work for a while now. However, I'd be willing to do some freelance assistance to a team...for a price of course."

I reply "I'll consider your services if I need help with something later on." as she walks into her own portal, but not before accidentally dropping some sort of large red gem stone out of her sweatshirt pocket. I pick it up and I can feel the absolute heat that came from it, far more than anything that was in a sweatshirt pocket should give off.

Shinji asks "Aren't you gonna play the hero and give it back to her?" as I respond "Since I have no idea where she's going, we'll just have to wait for her to notice it and see the events of this episode. She'll know where we are, and I'll be more than happy to give this back." before opening a portal for us.

We get back to the penthouse where the kid and I see Toji, Kensuke and Sakura engaged in a round of one of the games that came with my WarpSpark: pretty much taking the better aspects of Mario Kart and Sonic and Sega All Stars Racing Transformed and throwing in a cast of characters from all around Disney's list of gained properties. In all honesty, I actually found it pretty funny that Sakura, who was racing as Tinkerbell was dominating her older brother who was playing as Captain Rex from Star Wars: the Clone Wars and Kensuke who decided to play as Iron Man. By the time they reach the final lap, Kensuke tried to get the upper hand by utilizing a power up in the form of Spider Man's web grenades, only to be met with Sakura using something that would cement her victory: a power up based on Thanos' Infinity Gauntlet. The two of them are completely dumbstruck at what happened as Sakura starts cheering.

"Which game is that one anyway? I haven't really had the time to look into the titles I got with that system." I ask as Kensuke replies "Sorry, sir. We kinda got a little bored, and we say the game system, so we tried out this one game called "Magic Kingdom Mega Road Rally" and-"

I stop him by saying "It's perfectly fine. Since you guys are Warpers now, I don't need to hide the thing from you anymore. And if you guys can score a little extra money for yourselves, I know where you can get WarpSparks of your own."

That caught their attention as Toji asks "We can earn money just by hanging around with you?"

To which I reply "You can earn it by doing things such as collecting bounties and doing actual normal jobs among Warpers, but technically yes, since you're apart of a team led by me, you do get a cut of any financial rewards I would gain from doing stuff like collecting bounties on evil Warpers and the like."

Hearing that got Sakura to chime in and ask "If we're taking down evil Warpers, does that mean that we have bounties on us too?"

I knew I had one on me, but I wasn't sure if I was even putting their lives at even further risk. I then pull out my phone and searched the Order's bounty database, only to have my face pale a bit as I see

 **"Super Spiral" Desmond Bishops**

 **Wanted on 4 counts of 1st degree Ange-cide**

 **213 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings**

 **Association with the Blackthorn family and other level 10 Warpers**

 **Obtaining access to Super Saiyan-esque transformation**

 **Assault with a deadly weapon**

 **Bounty: 27,684,900 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)**

 **"Third Champion" Shinji Ikari (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267)**

 **Wanted on 2 counts of assisted Ange-cide**

 **181 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings**

 **Association with a level 10 Warper**

 **Assault with a deadly weapon**

 **Bounty: 310,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)**

 **"Tokyo 3 Bruiser" Toji Suzuhara** ( **Earth Dimension EVA-12385267)**

 **Wanted on 183 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings**

 **Association with a level 10 Warper**

 **Assault with a deadly weapon**

 **Bounty: 225,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)**

 **"Tokyo 3 Video Master" Kensuke Aida (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267)**

 **Wanted on 157 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings**

 **Association with a level 10 Warper**

 **Assault with a deadly weapon**

 **Bounty: 210,000 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)**

" **Tokyo 3 Healer" Sakura Suzuhara (Earth Dimension EVA-12385267)**

 **Wanted on 163 counts of 1st degree homocide of other Warpers and Warper related beings**

 **Association with a level 10 Warper**

 **Assault with a deadly weapon**

 **Bounty: 219,500 Dimensional Credits (Wanted Dead or Alive)**

 **Aw, crap, I've made things a whole lot worse, haven't I?** Well, might as well deal out the bad news.

"Sadly, Sakura's theory of you guys having bounties on your heads was correct. They may not be much compared to other Warpers, but they are bound to increase over time due to your involvement with me and the actions you take during any future...adventures we partake in. More than enough reasons to continue your training, so you can be ready for whatever comes your way."

Toji stands up and asks "When can we get back at it?" as I reply "We start up again first thing tomorrow morning, so get plenty of rest, because tomorrow brings even more challenges. Oh, and Ikari, when this week is over, I expect you to make peace with Misato, considering you're little drunken escapade earlier tonight pretty much made you walk a mile in her shoes regarding why she drinks so damn much."

The next day comes as I lead the four of them to reach higher levels then yesterday. By the time the end of the episode would've taken place, they were starting to come along further than I expected. Of course they were gonna have to keep the pace up, because I knew that there was only a one episode gap between the events of this episode's now non-existent events and the fight with the 5th Angel, and something told me that I was gonna need a fair share of help when things started to pick up.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)**

 **Personally I still wouldn't even consider doing this after I saw what happened to me in the "Prime" timelines because of this she-jerk's personal vendetta, but Bishops is making me do it, so I might as well get it over with.** Of course I'm speaking of making "peace" with Misato after our argument last week. I knock on the door as she opens it and goes "Oh. You're back already. That's cool." trying to pass things off as if things were just like last week as I say "Listen, Bishops sat me down and told me that I should make some form of amends with you after our fight and explained that the two of us are going to be working together for a while, so we should try and get along. That being said, I'm sorry for insulting your plan and your leadership, and we should probably try and make our situations work by each of us making the other improve as human beings and all that stuff."

Misato looks at me with surprise and replies "Wow, that was...surprisingly mature coming from a 14 year old. I guess I may or may not have overreacted to your criticism myself since after I stormed off, I had a few moments to think about it, and you two were more than right to say what you did. My plan sucked and I knew it, but I didn't have any time to think of anything better. I probably should've just let you try and deal with the Angel while backing your way into the city to retrieve a new energy cable. And I guess you did save those two students and showed NERV's mission in a positive light, so I thank you for that."

I ask "So what do you say? Wanna try to make this arrangement work?" as she replies "Apology accepted, and yeah, me might as well try and be civil with one another again. It'll be nice to have someone who isn't an albeit fairly smart genetically engineered super Penguin around to talk to."

Do I really want to make this work? Absolutely not. However, I'm willing to put up with her until canon runs out. Maybe I can sneak some of her beer when she isn't around and say that she was so buzzed that she forgot she drank 'em already. Who knows, maybe this might not be as horrible as expected, considering that I'm pretty much free of my canon self now.

 _(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)_

 **(** **Current Power Levels:**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 691,800/14,527,800 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x21)/34,590,000 (Base "Super Spiral")**

 **Tulio Rodriguez: 801,700**

 **Shinji Ikari: 12,811 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 519***

 **Toji Suzuhara: 5,253 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Kensuke Aida: 5,234 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Sakura Suzuhara: 5,112 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Hikari Horaki: 5.2**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Wynn Miyabi: 614 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Eria Aoi: 615 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Lyna Hikari: 615 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Murasaki (Earth Dimension SK-444377): 32,170**

 **Murakumo (Earth Dimension SK-444377): 30,700**

 **Fluttershy (Earth Dimension FIM-J-419-EQG): 155,000**

 **Velvet Scarlatina (Yoshi3000's "Geist Within" version): 26,050**

 **Talim (Earth Dimension SCB-495-Delta 12): 31,680**

 **Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Earth Dimension DC-J1990-BAT): 89,645**

 **"Lark": ?**

 **Pen Pen: 3.25**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Mokoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Ritsuko Akagi: 4**

 **Jessabelle Musashi: 725**

 **Fuytsuki Kozo: 3**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 4788**

 **Peter Griffin (Earth Dimension FG-00041-Omega): 45,000**

 **Robot Peter Griffin Drones: 250 each**

 **(Author's Notes: Let's clear up some things before I get to the main point of this note:**

 **1: This account does NOT condone underage drinking. If you kids who are reading this (and if you aren't under 17, I have to ask why you're even reading this), if you've got problems, talk them out with a professional.**

 **2: Since Bishops wouldn't know about the likes of Israphille from Super Mario Warper Genesis or Kaze Gray from A Drunken Knockout Marriage, his reaction to the number of level 10 Warpers seemed to be pretty accurate in my own mind.**

 **Now then, on to the main thing we need to talk about: as far as I'm concerned, consider this the first of multiple episodes from canon to outright get replaced with their own events. As for which ones, I think I've determined which ones are fully getting the ax:**

 **Episode 5 (Since Shinji knows he's not real and how the events of this episode would go down, things are gonna go down a whole lot differently)**

 **Episode 10 (many consider this episode to be the worst in the series, but that's not why this one is getting replaced. No, I have plans for this one, I just need to talk to a few people about it after the altered events of episode 9)**

 **Episodes 14 and 15 (Since one is mostly a clip show for the most part, and the other doesn't really progress the plot, these ones are getting replaced with new events)**

 **Episode 17 (We know Toji is gonna wind up being injured in the next episode, but I wanna do it a whole lot differently because what happens in 18 is gonna be a serious change for the world.)**

 **Episodes 20 and 21 (just like with the altered canon events of episode 18, episode 19 is gonna bring some BIG changes, and episodes 20 and 21 are gonna make way to introduce new aspects that will change the events of canon entirely.**

 **And as for the final 3 episodes along with the End of EVA movie, since I already plan to change a whole lotta canon, it only seems fair that these get replaced with Bishops' endgame against NERV and a special event to replace the movie's events in order to give me some time to plan out the next arc of the series (I mean by this point, canon's over, so where do we go from there?).**

 **Alright, next time: Altered episode 5! Expect fighting, parodies, and alterations from canon galore!)**


	9. A (new) Take on Episode 5

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 9: A (new) Take on Episode 5/Horses, Robots and Frustration, aw, crap**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, Friendship is Magic and Transformers to Hasbro & Takara, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax, seems just like your average dimension of magical talking horses and other mythological beings where friendship and love are the source of power for the universe's version of the Spirit Bomb.** So why were a group consisting of myself, Shinji, Toji and Kensuke hanging around a place like this while transformed into versions of the various biological beings of the land? Well, call it a favor or doing good for a universe, but whatever you call it, I call it an excuse to explore the Multiverse and pick up some new moves before the next Angel decides to rear its ugly mug. You aren't buying that, aren't you? Alright, I'll give you guys the real reason: the version of Twilight Sparkle in this particular universe contacted me asking for my assistance since she saw me not only take out the Angel Kaijin, but go toe to toe with the heads of the Blackthorn family and live (though I wouldn't consider what happened going toe to toe, considering that despite gaining Super Spiral out of it, I still got curb stomped...repeatedly), asking if I could possibly help with some of her villains that have been causing more frequent trouble across the planet, namely while using pilotable Transformers.

Shinji who was currently in the form of the same species as chaos bringer Discord: a Dragonequus decides to speak up and say "I'm actually surprised that you were willing to take the job, and that Sakura isn't here to take part in the action."

To which Toji, now an Earth type horse styled after a Clydesdale replies "She wanted to be here, but she had plans to hang out with Hikari's little sister today and she couldn't shirk 'em off."

Kensuke, taking the visage of a Hypogryph added on to the conversation by going "Shame that she isn't here, isn't she a huge fan of Friendship is Magic?"

"Yeah, and she'd probably freak that we're here in a version of Equestria. Just wish that we could've stayed in human form though."

Ikari simply replied "Better we look like actual characters from the show than stick out like sore thumbs. It'd just make us bigger targets for bounty hunters. And besides, I'm actually kinda fine being disguised as a Dragonequus."

Leading Toji to ask "How do you know what you are anyway?" as Shinji responds "Research, and me coming to this show for a John De Lancie fix full of meta humor."

We finally arrive at our destination: the School of Friendship where we make our way to Twilight's main office.

"Thank you so much for your assistance, Mr. Bishops. I'm guessing that you-I didn't know that you've assembled a team."

"Well I suppose that the altered events of my universe's episode 4 haven't exactly made its way through every channel that airs it, but yes I have." I respond before adding "If you've watched up to the altered events of episode 3, I believe you know who my universe's versions of Shinji Ikari, Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida are."

Twilight answers "Nice to meet you all. Now then, to explain the situation. Like I said when I first contacted you, my friends and I have been having a bit of trouble recently when it comes to dealing with a group of villains who've been able to get their hands on pilotable Tranzectors to cause havoc across the planet. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem since my friends and I have been able to counteract them with Tranzectors of our own, but recently, they've been getting ahold of more powerful ones from all walks of the Transformers Multiverse. Which brings us to the reason why I called you."

I continue what she had to say by going "You want me and my team to keep your rouge's gallery busy while your team investigates who's been supplying them with more powerful Transzectors, right?"

To which the purple Alicorn responds "Yes, if possible. If you guys need them, we can loan you some of our Tranzectors to help you with your mission, and the Equestrian government is more than happy to pay you for your assistance in this matter."

Well I have the Vector Prime that I got off of Dill's estate back when Shin Vega was still around and kicking, so I was set when it came to a Transformer, but the others...not so much.

I go "I have a Tranzector of my own, but my 3 teammates are going to need to possibly take you up on your offer. I mean I can probably find a guy who has some and have them delivered here quickly, but my odds on that one are limited considering that I'm not that well verse on the Tranzector market. Met me make some calls around and give you my results." as Twilight replies "Alright, but you guys are more than welcome to visit the castle in Ponyville and look around for ones that would benefit your part of this assignment the most. Spike can help you get there."

The smaller purple and green dragon (now with wings) gets up from off his chair and opens the door for us, saying "Just follow me and we can get there in no time." before the 5 of us walk out of the office.

A few minutes later, and we find ourselves inside the lower levels of the crystal castle housed where the destroyed Starry Oak Library once was as my team and I find ourselves in front of giant pilotable versions of fan favorite versions of classic robots in disguise from all across the franchise's history. I'm talking G1s, entries from the Unicron Trilogy, the Aligned Continuity, the IDW comics, even a design done by a third party Hasbro and Takara authorized toy company that specialized in higher end figures that don't transform. I'm just looking at the spread in sheer awe at the variety that I don't even notice the cowgirl crafts-horse of the Mane 8 (yes, I technically include Sunset because she's originally from Equestria, but does Equestria Twilight's job in the human part of their dimension), Applejack walk up to my team and say "Impressive, ain't they? Takes a little extra front knee grease to get 'em lookin' extra nice, but I reckon it's worth it just to see the looks on anybody else's faces when they see 'em."

I turn in surprise and reply "Well it shows, since they had me pretty distracted. Did Twilight ask you to meet me and my team here?"

She answers "She did. So which ones do ya' think ya'll be needin' foryour part of our little plan to crack this mystery?"

I reply "I still haven't managed to get ahold of anyone who sells Tranzectors, so we might as well look around and see what's available just in case."

Applejack answers "Mighty smart thinkin' if you ask me. Though ya'll might wanna take some time to figure out some of the controls, 'specially since these things are designed with modular cockpits that adjust to the body type of the pilot."

I respond "I guess that wouldn't be a bad idea. Is there a training area that my three apprentices can use to get the hang of things in their current forms?"

The apple farming cowgirl-horse answers "Well I suppose that Ya'll could use one of the pocket dimensions that was created during Twilight and Starlight's lil' fit of messin' with the time/space continuum. These here rigs are set to teleport into one in order to aid in avoidin' civilian casualties."

That's exactly what we'd be needing to get the hang of things as I reply "Perfect. Alright, boys, we might as well utilize Ms. Sparkle's offer and borrow some of her friend's bots in order to figure out how to actually pilot them should the need arise."

Toji opts for a G1 Grimlock while Kensuke utilizes a G1 version of Wheeljack and Shinji goes with an IDW comics version of the ninja Decepticon turned Autobot Drift. Me on the other hand, decided to summon my version of Unicron Trilogy Vector Prime using the same watch I use to summon my "Tokyo 3 Vigilante" armor. Once we manage to get them out of the castle and near the Everfree forest, one of the pocket dimensions opens up and me manage to work our way inside.

"Alright, we should probably get the basics of actually transforming these things down before we try anything too advanced." I say as we start working our way around the controls. I mean sure, Ikari had some better control over what he was doing, considering he has experience controlling the giant Eldrich horror known as EVA Unit-01, but me and the others...not so much. Yeah, I think it was safe to say that between me, Kensuke and Toji, the tree of us found ourselves faceplanting with our machines...a lot. And while those two little knuckle heads decided to actually focus on getting the hang of things, I was a little more preoccupied with contacting various Tranzector dealers in order to supply the team with ones of their own instead of having to borrow them and cut down on the effectiveness of the 7 of the Mane 8 plus Spike in their part of the mission.

"Hello, Dractyle and Sheen Mech Services? Yes, I'm trying to outfit my group with pilotable Transformers for a mission we've accepted, and I was wondering if you guys have any Tranzectors in stock. Really, only one? Alright, which one is it? That one isn't that bad for what I need, but... Really, you'd be willing to take that much off? Hmmm, yeah, I guess I can go for it for that price. I'll have the check made out to you later today at the earliest. Alright then, goodbye."

I finally hang up and call the other three over to my location to say "Alright, I've managed to get ahold of a Tranzector, but the thing is that I could only get the one. So you guys will have to decide amongst yourselves on which one of you gets it."

You know, I was actually surprised at how civil the three of them were as their answer was pretty much instant with Toji saying "I may not be the smartest guy in the pocket dimension, but even I think that it should go to Shinji." as Kensuke adds "Yeah, considering that he's got way more experience operating bipedal combat tools like Unit-01, it just seems like the obvious choice. Plus I'm kinda getting used to these controls with the Wheeljack, so if I wind up switching out right now, I'd be at a huge disadvantage."

Shinji simply responds "I can see where they're going with their logic. Which Transformer is it? It isn't one of those overly designed to look alien "Bay-Former" ones, is it?"

I answer "No, but you'll have to wait until it reaches this Equestria to find out."

Before the boy could even give me any guff, we get the alert to return to the normal Equestria, meaning that something's been discovered regarding who's been supplying the villians, or the villains themselves showed up looking for a fight. We land in the center of Ponyville and who do we come in contact with? Warper versions of King Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek and Daring Do's old foe Ahuizotl, just looking for a fight.

Sombra starts going "Who among you wishes to fall to our might?! This time, there will be no salvation for any of you at the hands of your precious Element of Harmony bearers, for we have come with-who the Tartarus are you four?"

I answer "The Element bearers don't have time for your buffoonery today, they'd rather figure out where you guys keep getting pilotable Transformers while the four of us deal with you and your group."

Then Chrysalis starts cracking up before gathering herself and saying "They really thought that (pointing to me) a dragon, (pointing at Toji) an Earth Pony, (pointing to Kensuke) a Hypogryph, (and finally pointing to Shinji) and whatever in the Multiverse that fool Discord's supposed to be are enough to beat us?! Don't make me laugh."

Leading Kensuke to respond "At least we didn't have entire armies and kingdoms pulled right from under our rugs like you chumps." which I will admit was a solid burn on his account.

Tirek did not take it well as he goes "You dare to mock us? Prepare to meet your doom."

Alright, time to figure out who fights who as Shinji just goes "The goth unicorn is mine. I don't know why, but something about him just grinds my gears."

Toji adds on by going "Mind if I take on the dog thing? Sakura's gonna flip when she finds out I fought an MLP villain and kicked their ass."

Leading to me figuring out the battle plan.

"Alright, Shinji will fight Sombra, Toji will take on Ahuizotl, Kensuke, since you insulted her, you can fight Chrysalis, which just leaves me with Tirek. The moment things get rough, start bringing out the Tranzectors. Got it?"

The three of 'em go "Right." as I respond "Alright, our mission is to keep these guys busy and hopefully send 'em packing while the Mane 7 and Spike do some good ol' fashion investigating regarding these guys' supplier. Ready?"

They nod "yes" as I go "Alright, let's do this."

It was now officially on.

 **(Generic P.O.V. Shift: Desmond Vs Tirek)**

 _ **(Track Change: Tekken 4 OST: "Parking Garage Stage Theme")**_

Bishops goes "No magic to syphon off me, centaur goat boy. Take your best shot." as Tirek replies "Oh, I intend to." before charging towards the level 10 Warper with a shoulder charge akin to what you usually get out of a NFL game as Bishops dodges the attack and goes in for a swift series of strikes of his own after going into a x3 Kaio Ken. Tirek quickly rebounds from a powerful right hook and goes "An impressive feat, I dare say that you're actually holding back with me. A grave mistake." before charging up a gigantic ball of electro-static energy.

Bishops can only say "Oh, this is gonna hurt" due to his past experiences with lightning attacks.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Toji VS Ahuizotl)**

Toji was dodging Ahuizotl's strikes as quickly as he could as the strange cross between canine and jaguar goaded him to attack, mocking him by saying "Surely running away from your ultimate demise isn't the only thing you can do. You need to at least try and hit me if you want to win." as Toji countered "You may be bigger and tougher, but it ain't the size of the guy in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the guy that matters." before jumping on top of the villain's back before delivering some well earned front hoof punches to the spine of his opponent.

Ahuizotl ignores his pain and flicks Toji of his back before going "A shame that you weren't part of my legion of hencemen, you probably would've made my second in command rather easily."

Toji answers that statement by going "If that's a job offer, then no thanks, I'm pretty happy with who I'm working with now." as Ahuizotl replies "Then you will meet your end in the gape of my maw."

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Kensuke VS Queen Chrysalis)**

Kensuke was surprisingly handling himself a tad bit better than some of the others as he was able to fly and avoid Chrysalis' magic blasts while nailing her with some well timed strikes due to his enhanced Hypogryph speed.

"Stand still, you insolent fool so I can wipe you off the face of Equestria!"

Kensuke only replies "You gotta catch me if you wanna kill me!" from a distance as the former Changeling queen began to give chase, having become fed up with her opponent's refusal to die. As bolts of magic energy began to fly around in the skies, Kensuke was able to get under the evil shapeshifter and nail her with an upper cut using his talon armed hands. After crashing down to the ground, it was at that point that Chrysalis decided that enough was enough.

"Alright, you pathetic Hypogryph, you think you're so intelligent using the skies to your advantage, but when you deal with the true queen of the Changelings, your best just isn't going to be good enough. Let's see how you deal with this."

She uses her magic to call forth a capsule and click the button to activate it.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji VS Sombra)**

As the third child and the Umbrum king clashed with hooves and fists, the two of them stop when they witness a version of Starscream in his Generation 1 F-15 form rise from out of nowhere.

"Chrysalis, you fool! You choose now of all times to utilize your Tranzector? That Hypogryph isn't even that powerful, his Power Level couldn't have been any higher than 8,000!"

Shinji halts Sombra's rant by going "Hey tall, dark, and armored, your fight is with me, not my friend!" as Sombra responds "You think that you can still win? I was hoping that I could save this to finish you off after slowly and painfully punishing you for defying me, but it seems like I have no choice."

Sombra then pulls out another capsule similar to the one Chrysalis had and pressed the button. Out from the bright light came forth Sombra's own Tranzector: Scourge as he was depicted in Transformers Galaxy Force/Transformers Cybertron.

The Umbrum king laughs at his opponent and goes "Ready to get what you deserve, puny whelp?" as Shinji replies "Depends, are you actually gonna be able to hit anything with that thing, or are those fangs of yours just for show?"

"You're going to regret that, punk."

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond VS Tirek)**

The battle between the magic stealing Gargoyle and the human/Saiyan/Spiral hybrid was interrupted due to the appearance of the mechanized titans as Tirek remarks "My, I didn't expect Sombra and Chrysalis to resort to those this soon into the fight. It seems that your associates are more skilled than expected."

Leading Bishops to quip "Would you believe that two of them have only had a week's worth of training?"

Of course hearing that leads Tirek to sputter and go "How in the name of Tartarus are 3 experienced warriors being beaten by a group of...GREEN HORNS?!"

Bishops answers "Because you 4 constantly underestimate your opponents like most villains do. What my team lacks in strength and Power Levels, they make up for with the brains to turn their disadvantages to their favor. An enemy might be stronger, but they're faster. An enemy might be able to get ahold of powerful weapons, but they're smart enough to figure out how to use that to their advantage. I train my apprentices to be ready for anything, and as long as I still stand, I'm going to make sure that they reach their true potential at its fullest."

Leading Tirek to say "Then allow me to show you the full extent of my power, in order to force you to show me yours." before revealing a capsule of his own as Bishops opens a telepathic channel to the others saying "Toji, Kensuke, use the Tranzectors that the Equestrians are loaning us to even the odds against these guys. Shinji, I'll hold off Tirek and Sombra until that other Tranzector I bought gets here. When it does, enter the pocket dimension and get fighting."

The three of them answer "Got it." as the battle enters it's second round with everyone but Shinji busting out their Transformers as another pocket dimension portal opens, leading the 7 combatants to enter and continue their battle there. Meanwhile, Shinji was forced to sit and wait to get in the action, impatiently going "Come on, come on, what's keeping the-" before being interrupted by an accidental spear at the hooves of one Derpy Hooves who responds to this by saying "Hello, are you Desmond Bishops?"

Leading Shinji to respond "If you're here to deliver a package to him, I can take it on his behalf since he's kinda busy right now." as Derpy pulls out a clipboard and says "Okay. Sign here please."

He quickly fills out what he needs to before handing it back to the pegasus as she hands him yet another capsule before saying "Thank you, have a nice day."

Shinji simply goes "This better be what I think it is." before clicking the capsule top with his paw hand as it unloads the very thing that Bishops had ordered with Shinji smiling with partial malevolent intent.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Team Bishops VS Team MLP Villains-Round 2)**

As Bishops used his Vector Prime's sword to counteract the strikes of Sombra's tail club and the cannon blasts of the Transformers Armada style Megatron controlled by Tirek's fusion cannon, Kensuke starts racing around the Null Ray blasts of Chrysalis' G1 Seeker using the speed of the Wheeljack Tranzector before having it transform and shoot at the ex-Changeling queen with the Autobot's shoulder mounted rocket launcher. Meanwhile, Toji manage to use Grimlock's tail in order to slam into the hood of Ahuizotl's Tranzector, which came in the form of pre-reformation Knock Out from Transformers Prime before the foe of Daring Do surprisingly decided to drive towards the direction of the Dinobot in an attempt to send it flat on its face. Toji on the other hand was having none of it as he decided that it was time to transform the bot and throw that sports car to the curb...only for said car to come back and transform in order to continue the fight with a well timed punch to Grimlock's face. The fighting would keep going with no real end in sight...that is until...

 _ **(Track Change: "Transformers: Beast Wars Theme (Instrumental Version)"- Transformers: Beast Wars OST)**_

Before Sombra could get behind Bishops' Tranzector and deliver a swift strike that would've left the level 10 Warper at a disadvantage, he was met with a punch to his Transformer's head unit...with the fist coming in the form of the head of a red dragon. The dragon head belonging to the Tranzector piloted by Shinji: **a pilotable version of Transmetal 2 Megatron from the third season of Beast Wars.**

Bishops looks at the piloted Predacon and pieces the facts together real quick, asking "I take it you're pleased with my purchase there, kid?" leading Shinji to reply "In a word:" before transferring to his best Beast Era Megatron impression "yyyeeeessss."

Sombra gets past the sudden counterattack and responds "A powerful Tranzector will not be enough to save you, boy. I hope your ready for the next round of our little battle." as Shinji answers "Whenever you are, smokestack."

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji VS Sombra-Round 2)**

It was truly a duel of dragons as both Unit-01's pilot and the once ruler of the Crystal Empire utilize the characteristics of their Transzectors to their fullest ranging from fire breath, tail whipping, lasers, Cyber Plannet Keys, the works. Their battle only comes to an end when Shinji uses his Megatron's dragon head to fire out a burst of flames that manage to cause Sombra's systems to overheat and shut down.

"Well that takes care of you, guess you couldn't deal with the dragon's flame." mocked Shinji as Sombra countered "I'll get you for this, you little fool. Mark my words, I will make you pay for this indignity."

The third child simply says "Come at me as many times as you want, I can always use a good punching bag to deal with stuff NERV dumps on me." before flying off to aid his friends.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Toji VS Ahuizotl-Round 3)**

Toji wasn't afraid to use fire breath either as he was able to use it to keep Ahuizotl on his mechanical toes, evading the flames while not being able to utilize the weapons of his machine.

"You think you can stop me with moves like that? Don't be upserd! Why don't you fight me like a REAL stallion, fist to hoof?"

Toji can only answer to that by going "Alright. But just remember one thing: you asked for this." before having his borrowed Grimlock transform into robot mode and charges at his opponent, ending the fight by delivering a punch so powerful that it decapitated the Knockout Tranzector and rendered it offline.

"Why can't I move? I can still keep fighting, you stupid machine!"

Toji comments "Wow, if all it took was to knock your block off, I would've done it almost instantly after you busted that thing out."

"Don't think that this is over, I will have my revenge against you, insolent Earth Pony."

Shinji arrives at the aftermath of their battle as he goes "You already took care of this guy?" as Toji answers "Yeah, he ain't getting back up anytime soon. Now come on, Kensuke might need our help."

The third responds "Right." before the two of them rush off to the aid of their friend.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Kensuke VS Chrysalis-Round 3)**

When it came to the duel between land and air, Kensuke was actually at a disadvantage as the ex-Changeling queen used the skies to her full advantage, firing off massive amounts of Null Ray beams towards the land bound Wheeljack Tranzector used by the bespectacled Hypogryph.

"Are you feeling the fear? Are you now realizing that doom is upon you? Have you made peace with yourself in the hands of your ultimate demise?"

Kensuke answers that stream of questions by going "You may have the advantage in the skies, but I still have the upper hand when it comes to brains. I just needed to keep you busy."

Leading Chrysalis to respond "Busy until what?" before Shinji's Megatron delivers an elbow drop on the F-15's upper armor, sending it crashing down as Toji's borrowed Grimlock slams down on it with its tail, rendering the jet inoperable and untransformable as Kensuke quips "Well, that wasn't really what I was stalling for, but that works."

Toji asks "You okay, dude?" as Kensuke responds "Yeah, I'm good. I take it that your guys that yo were fighting got beat?" before Shinji answers "Flanks sufficiently kicked."

Kensuke thanked his friends before the three of them went to go aid their mentor in has battle.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond VS Tirek-Round 3)**

 _ **(** ** _T_ rack Change: "Face the Devastation (Instrumental Version)"-Transformers Devastation OST)**_

The battle between Unicron Trilogy Transformers raged on as Bishops was able to continuously counteract the ranged combat capabilities of Tirek's Megatron using the close range capabilities of his Vector Prime.

"How? How are you able to win so easily? Those pestilent ponies and that annoying dragon aren't nearly as troublesome as you've been, so how are you still able to resist me so easily?"

Bishops simply responded "Because I'm just that much more powerful than you are. You continuously underestimate your opponents like your little buddies, and as a result, you continuously get your flanks handed to you. Case in point: me kicking your flank right now, so I think it's time that I finish you off now so me and my team and I can do a little bit of investigating of our own." before slicing off the left arm, upper right leg and fusion cannon of the transforming tank as it fell to the ground in defeat.

"Curses, this battle is lost, but our reign of terror is far from over. Everyone, retreat for now!"

Bishops respond "Oh no you don't!" before charging up an energy slash with Vector Prime's sword, but it was too late: the villains piloting the Tranzectors had managed teleport away to fight again another day.

The other three arrive as Toji goes "Wow, guess we didn't need to hurry after all. So I'm guessing that goat centaur guy and his gang of goons-" before Bishops responds "Yeah, the escaped, but they most likely won't be causing any real trouble with these things or any other Pilotable Transformer anytime soon."

Kensuke asks "So what do we do now, try and find the others and help out with their part of the plan?" as Bishops responds "It couldn't hurt to at least contact them and see if they've made any progress." before trying to get in contact with Twilight, which he manages to do after a ew moments.

"This is Twilight speaking. Oh, Bishops, I'm picking up Tranzector emergency signals in your area, did you guys encounter any problems?"

Bishops answers "We did have a run in with a couple characters in your rouges gallery, but nothing we couldn't handle. We even manage to do some fairly major damage to their Tranzectors, so you probably won't have to deal with Sombra, Tirek, Chrysalis or Ahuizotl using them anytime soon. How are things on your side of the plan?" as the violet Alicorn responds "We had a run in with a couple members of our rouges gallery ourselves. Seems that they got the idea that we would try and investigate their Tranzector supplier, so they had the Storm King, the Dazzlings and the Flim Flam brothers try and intercept us."

Bishops then asks "Do you guys need any help?" as Twilight responds "Thank you for the offer, but we managed to get the job done with them. Unfortunately, our investigation didn't yield any major results, just spare parts and external weaponry." before Kensuke adds "Hey, that's better than nothing, right? At least you guys can make sure that they can't really make easy repairs for a while."

Twilight answers "True, call it a smaller victory. Thank you for your help, you four. We'll meet you back at the castle and you can claim your payment." before ending the communication. A few minutes later and both parties were back inside the hangar within the Castle of Friendship discussing the events of their respective missions.

"Alright." Twilight opens before adding "While our investigation didn't go as well as I was hoping it would, we did make some significant progress in making sure that the villain team doesn't have easy access to their Tranzectors, let alone a place to make repairs. And even if they get ahold of new ones, it'll be a while before they can use them to their fullest potential in order to try and take over the world."

She then turns to Bishops and his team before stating "This operation wouldn't have gone as well as it did if it wasn't for your help, and for this, you have our eternal gratitude." as Bishops replies "It's really no problem, I'd rather my team be doing hero work like this instead of just causing random havoc across the Multiverse like others tend to think is the best option to use their powers on."

Hearing that made the version of Pinkie Pie who was part of this universe pipe in and go "Thank Celestia for that, it really makes me cheesed that there's an evil version of my Equestria Girls form who's part Majin that's causing all sorts of trouble and giving Pinkies like me a bad name. You know that she's been messing with time travel and screwing up continuities of other universes? Yeah, turns out that it's against Warper law to do that since it has the chance to completely destroy timelines altogether."

Shinji then had to ask after hearing that "But didn't Twilight and Starlight seriously mess with your timeline during the events of season 5's finale, because if you did that which created those pocket dimensions we were fighting in, shouldn't you guys be in like, Warper jail or something?" as the Starlight of that universe answers "Believe me, once Twilight and I learned the secret, we were given a severe warning not to mess with time travel again, be it in our own universe or not, or else there will be consequences. Reasons why all the books containing time travel based magic are locked up and buried in a top secret location."

Bishops responds to that saying "Good to know. If you guys ever need our help again, don't be afraid to contact us." as the Alicorn princess of friendship replies "Thank you, we'll let you know if anything comes up be it regarding the Tranzector dealer or anything else."

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **After the mission in Equestria, the four of us find ourselves back home at the penthouse.** Shinji had sat himself down on the couch, feeling good about being able to take on someone who was more powerful than him using a mech that wasn't a biomechanical Eldrich horror and winning, Kensuke was looking at Warpspark games online using his new phone, Toji was talking about our adventure to Sakura while showing her a picture of him fighting Ahuizotl that he managed to take during the first part of their battle, but me? Something was on my mind. Something that universes version of Pinkie Pie said regarding the evil Pinkie's messing with time. If that version of the pink party horse could mess with the continuities of timelines at will without regards for Warper law, what's stopping her from messing with the events of mine? It started raising more questions about this world: "what if Pinkamena's time screwing made it so that at least one of the SEELEs were still alive?" "How many Angels would there be now?" "Were characters from other continuities make their way here other than Sakura?" I'll have to investigate possible timeline changes to my neck of the woods at some point, but for the time being, my train of thought was interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone. I pick up mine out of my pocket to see that it is mine after all as I answer the call. Turns out that another Warper is looking to do business with me and wanted to set up a meeting for the the time in between the events of episode 6 and 7's canon. I get finished with the call as Shinji gets up from the sofa and says "I should probably head back to Misato's. She wants me and Ritsuko to have dinner at her place and she insisted on cooking, meaning I'm most likely going to be spending some time in the hospital." before I can respond "Don't remind me, she invited me , everyone go home and get some well deserved rest because we're gonna get right back to business first thing in the morning. As for Ikari and I, there's a chance that we might need some medical aid after this, so if we're not back tomorrow, then that's why. Alright, kid, let's get this over with."

Fast forward to the four of us in Misato's apartment and thank sweet merciful Primus, Celestia, and the three Egyptian God cards above for Warper's Edit to make the meal less of a hassle to go down. Ritsuko turns to Shinji about halfway through the meal and goes "Listen Shinji, do you mind if I ask you to do a little favor tomorrow?" as I hear the boy respond "Depends, what is it and is it within the law?" before the "good" doctor answers "Don't worry, it's completely on the up and up. All you have to do is stop by Rei's apartment and drop off her new updated ID card along with some forms for her to fill out. I have the envelope on me to give to you, which has the address you'll need to get to where you need to go."

The third child decided to accept the job just to keep with the events of canon before obtaining the envelope in question. Thankfully the rest of dinner went by without too much of a hitch, leading me to be able to avoid a trip to the hospital. Again, thank Primus, Celestia, Osiris, Obelisk and Ra.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)**

 **The day after, and Toji, Kensuke and I choose to technically follow canon by having our one class of school for the day be P.E.** The three of us were waiting for our turn to do hurdles when something catches my eye, or more so someone. No, not Rei like in canon, but someone else. I turn to Kensuke and ask "Hey, you notice that brunette girl over there running with Hikari? I don't think she's apart of any show or movie continuity, and since you've been here for longer than I have, maybe you know something about her?"

Kensuke answers "Actually, I think her name is Mana Kirishima. I think she transferred here shortly before you did."

I had seen all of the episodes and the "Rebuild" movies during our little spoiler alert, and not once did I see this "Mana" as part of either of those canon timelines. Sure, I could search her online, but right now 2 things were stopping me:

1: my phone was in my gym locker

and 2: even if I spawn it from out of nowhere, there's too many people around who could get in on the Warper's Secret.

I'll have to deal with it later, but for the time being, might as well kill these hurdles. The class finally ends and the guys and I grab Sakura and continue training because whatever's pulling the strings knows that the next Angel is gonna be rearing its ugly head real soon. Sundown finally comes as I make my way to Rei's apartment. Sure I could've just barged in and landed on a nude human/Angel hybrid, but I wasn't feeling it today, soooooooooo...

"Hey Ayanami, are you in...and properly dressed?"

Of course I don't get an answer right away, but she finally answers while wearing her school uniform (I'd say that she needs a serious change in wardrobe, but considering that this is a clone made of human and Angel DNA who acts like a mindless doll, my argument is automatically rendered moot).

She goes "Pilot Ikari, I assume that you have business with me to discuss." in her usual deadpan tone as I answer "I just came to deliver some new paperwork and a new ID on behalf of the higher ups."

Some time later and we find ourselves going down an escalator on the way for Rei to have a "check up" with Ritsuko as Rei decides to ask me why I pilot, to which I answer "I'm only here to deal with the Angels and get rich doing it. Nothing more, nothing less. And once I'm done here, I'm heading back home a rich and powerful man so I can finally get even with the asshole I'm forced to call "my old man"."

Well, hearing me calling Gendo an A-hole was enough of a trigger to get a rise out of her, so I let her slap me like in canon. Then she gets on my case on how I should be doing this for the sake of the Earth and not for a paycheck and how I shouldn't disrespect Gendo as I respond "Okay, 1: that rat bastard lost the right to be considered a parent when he left for dead at a train station without adult supervision when I was 3, and 2: do you honestly expect me to go into battle using something completely untested with minimal formal training and zero association with the military without receiving some sort of compensation for my troubles and any trauma that I may experience during this whole mess?"

Then she goes droning on about how it's our duty to protect humanity from the threat of the Angels and that compensation is completely superfluous and all that kind of crap. I swear, it's like listening to that insufferable teacher in the school all over again. I seriously fighting the urge to tell her off and tell her that she's not even real, but I'd rather not do double exercises for the next week again. But the one thing, the one thing that came out of her mouth that almost made me snap came when we finally reached her office: "Your father is a better man than you make him out to be, I would suggest that you at least try to make peace with him."

After she goes in, I quickly pull out one of the pairs of Dimensional Scissors that Bishops gave us during the week episode 4 was supposed to happen and cut open a portal to a building on Planet Creation before asking "Is this the place where Warpers can go berserk on a room to the tune of "Cimbine Harvester" by the the Wurzels?" at the main desk.

Thankfully the Warper working the desk responds "3rd door on the left is free, you can pay after." before I finally get to unload every last bit of crap induced anger and frustration on a room full of breakables. I finally get myself together about an hour later before shelling out about 45 grand worth of credits (may sound like highway robbery, but hey, not even 3 Angels worth of canon in, I'm already rich) as I make my way back to town. Things were pretty quiet after that...for about 4 seconds as Bishops appears out of nowhere and tells me "There you are. Come on, kid, showtime." as the two of us go off to kick off the altered canon of episode 6. Oh, I am so not looking forward to round 1 if things are gonna go as I think they are

 _(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)_

 **(** **Current Power Levels:**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 753,000/18,072,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x24)/37,650,000 (Base "Super Spiral")/500,000,000 (Unicron Trilogy "Galaxy Force" Vector Prime Tranzector)**

 **Tulio Rodriguez: 801,700**

 **Shinji Ikari: 14,600/300,000,000 (Transmetal 2 Megatron Tranzector) (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 1590* (Warper Status: LV. 3)**

 **Toji Suzuhara: 7,950/150,000,000 (G1 Grimlock Tranzector) (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Kensuke Aida: 7,800/131,000,000 (G1 Wheeljack Tranzector)** **(Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Sakura Suzuhara: 7,800** **(Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Hikari Horaki: 5.2**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Wynn Miyabi: 784** **(Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Eria Aoi: 788** **(Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Lyna Hikari: 814 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Murasaki (Earth Dimension SK-444377): 32,170**

 **Murakumo (Earth Dimension SK-444377): 30,700**

 **Fluttershy (Earth Dimension FIM-J-419-EQG): 155,000**

 **Velvet Scarlatina (Yoshi3000's "Geist Within" version): 26,050**

 **Talim (Earth Dimension SCB-495-Delta 12): 31,680**

 **Dr. Harleen Quinzel (Earth Dimension DC-J1990-BAT): 89,645**

 **"Lark": ?**

 **Pen Pen: 3.25**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Mokoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Ritsuko Akagi: 4**

 **Jessabelle Musashi: 725**

 **Fuytsuki Kozo: 3**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 19,800 (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **Twilight Sparkle (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,612,000/ 400,000,000 ("Galaxy Force" Unicron Trilogy Optimus Prime Tranzector "Normal Mode")/450,000,000 ("Galaxy Force" Unicron Trilogy Optimus Prime "Super Mode")**

 **Applejack (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 980,000/210,000,000 (Aligned continuity Strongarm Tranzector)**

 **Pinkie Pie (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 853,000/150,000,000 (G1 Grimlock Tranzector)**

 **Rainbow Dash (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 800,000/1,800,000 (IDW Comics Windblade Tranzector)**

 **Starlight Glimmer (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,250,000/145,000,000 (IDW Comics Drift Tranzector)**

 **Spike T. Dragon (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,012,000/180,000,000 (Transmetal 1 Cheetor Tranzector)**

 **Rarity (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 790,000/131,000,000 (G1 Wheeljack Tranzector)**

 **Fluttershy (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,000,000/350,000,000 (G1 Saber Tranzector (without V-Star)/450,000,000 (G1 Star Saber Tranzector (Saber+V-Star)**

 **King Sombra (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,500,000/255,000,000 ("Galaxy Force" Unicron Trilogy Scourge Tranzector)**

 **Lord Tirek (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,850,000/240,000,000 ("Armada" Unicron Trilogy Megatron Tranzector)**

 **Queen Chrysalis (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 1,340,000/120,000,000 (G1 Starscream/Generic G1 Seeker Tranzector)**

 **Ahuizotl (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 950,000/150,000,000 (Aligned continuity Knockout Tranzector)**

 **Derpy Hooves (Equestria Dimension FiM-41842-Primax): 410,000**

 **(Author's Notes: Yeah, I'm ending this one on a cliffhanger. But don't worry, next time picks up right where this one left off with the altered canon of episode 6. Oh, and uh, fair warning: expect the Angels to get even tougher from here on out, support from additional characters from across Bishops' journey so far, and Bishops' team finally getting its name and logo. Stick around.)**


	10. Reflections (and) Revelations

**Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time**

 **Episode 10: (the) Greater Challenge of Episode 6's Altered Canon/Reflexions (and) Revelations...Oh, and Crazy Steve Too**

 **(Warning: All intellectual properties belong to their respective copyright holders/original creators. EVA to Gainax, Reality Warpers to Yoshi3000, All Star Batman and Robin (aka "All Star Crazy Steve and Dick Greyson, Age 12 Even Though They Don't Have All the Screen Time in Their Own Comic") to Frank Miller, you get the idea.)**

 _(Opening Theme: "Reverse/Rebirth" by Iwagana Hiroaki and Kimijima Asaya)_

 **(General P.O.V. View)**

 **Sundown in the more wooded areas of Tokyo 3, the perfect setting a battle between EVA Unit-01 and Desmond Bishops in his "Tokyo 3 Vigilante" disguise against the diamond shaped Angel Ramiel and its more humanoid herald.** Shinji starts opening fire using a Gatling gun pulled from a fake building as Bishops begins unloading a barrage of strikes on the herald, wasting no time going to his max Kaio Ken amplification. You'd think that things would go smoothly based on what happened to the last two Angels, but this is Evangelion, when do things ever become as simple as that as the black components of both the Angel and the herald began to glow a menacing violet.

The herald proclaims "You foolish Lilim, your futile attacks have only made me and the mighty Ramiel even stronger." as Bishops responds "Well if I have to be honest, you haven't seen me at 100% yet. So I guess I should thank you for giving me the chance to finally go all out." as he began to charge up Spiral Ki and transforms into his Super Spiral form. What was supposed to be the turning point of the battle was denied when Ramiel's herald managed to show what he meant by "becoming stronger from Bishops' attacks" when it punches the level 10 Warper with enough force to send him flying into a nearby weapon storage building.

Bishops comes to almost instantly and figures things out by saying "Oh crap, you have the power to store the kinetic energy from physical melee attacks and can release it to increase the damage your attacks akin to the MCU Black Panther. Alright, let's see how you fare with an attack that I don't have to be in close range for."

Before Bishops could charge a Destructo Disc in an attempt to even up the odds, canon rears its ugly head as both Ramiel and its herald use the stored power they held to blast both Bishops and Unit-01, causing both the level 10 Warper and Shinji to shout out in agony as things for both of them slowly and painfuly fade to black.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **God. Freaking. Dammit.** That has never happened before. I mean sure, I got beaten up pretty bad during a fight, but usually I wind up coming out on top in the end, but this... I just got curb stomped. When I come to, I wind up getting surrounded by not just Toji, Kensuke and Sakura, but also some new and familiar faces.

"Give him some room, he's coming to."

I finally gain enough consciousness to recognize the voice belonging to Kensuke as I ask "What the hell happened out there?" before getting an answer from Mura, who had brought some of the Dai-Gurrens with her as she says "That freak that hangs out with the Angel managed to use your own power against you. If their last attack hadn't managed to completely drain them and put 'em in stasis, you'd be dead right about now."

I ask where I am when I hear another familiar voice reply "St. Cygnus Hyoga Medical Center. Yeah, after you blacked out from the last attack you took, your buddies here grabbed you and got you here for recovery." as I look and see that the Moltar that helped me out back in my earliest days was standing there next to a version of Mercy from Overwatch. She decides to chime in by saying "Thankfully the damage done to your body wasn't too severe, otherwise we'd have to resort to cyborg conversion surgery, and according to your medical forms, you don't have someone designated as your power of attorney, meaning we can't actually perform the procedure."

Note to self: hire power of attorney in case shit like this happens to me again, but even worse. I look around the room and see that Ikari isn't there as I ask "You guys wouldn't have happened to pick up a version of Shinji Ikari from my timeline, or did NERV get to him first?"

Kensuke answers "We were gonna grab him and get him to this hospital, but NERV sent Section 2 to extract him first. Most likely, he's being treated in the medical area of their base." before asking "What do we do now?"

I quickly respond "I'm going back into town and taking care of those sumbyatches while they're still recharging. Those things have got another thing coming if they think they can get away with beating me." before Simon responds "Hold on a minute, Mura showed us the footage from round 1, and we know that they can absorb kinetic energy to use against people." as Mura adds "He's right. You need to figure out a battle plan before you go and charge into another losing battle."

It took me a few moments, but it finally sank in: if I was gonna take these guys down, I was gonna need some help. And that's when a plan started coming together.

"Alright, I think I have an idea regarding a plan. Mura, Simon, Rossiu, I'm gonna need your guys' help to beat the herald."

Before I could continue, Rossiu asks "How do you propose we assist?" as I add "Since we can't directly hit this guy using physical attacks, I was going to suggest that we try using Ki attacks. I was in the middle of charging one when I got blasted, so there might be a chance that if they can absorb those, maybe there's a chance for us to possibly overload them with energy to the point where they explode."

Mura responds "We'll help you give it a shot, kid." as Toji asks "What about us, boss?"

I respond "I'll have Ami direct you to a special training area that I frequently use when not teaching you guys. I'd rather you guys be at a higher level of power before doing this, but it's time to begin the next stage of your training: learning how to move freely within multiple amplifications of Earth's gravity."

Kensuke asks in shock "Wait, you have a machine that can simulate amplifications of Earth's gravity?" as I answer "Yes, and starting today...or tonight...whatever. Starting when we get back into town, you'll be using it to not only increase your own natural strength and Ki reserves, but also to learn a technique that can multiply your power even further I tend to use often: the Kaio Ken."

That's when Sakura asks "Wait, wouldn't make the weights we're already wearing even heavier depending on the amplification?" as I respond "Not to worry, I've already gotten ahold of modular weights for each of you. Simply set them to say...10 pounds before the Gravity amplifier activates and the amplification will take care of the rest until the gravity is returned to normal. And don't think you can get away with just setting them to just 10 pounds all the time and not adjusting them to the same weight as they'd be amplified, because I'll know."

Mura asks how much weight am I wearing currently as I calculate the totals.

"Let's see...normally I have them set to 5 pounds when in the GARD, and I'm currently working on getting 68x Earth's gravity down pat, so 5 x 68...340 pounds on each arm and leg, 1360 pounds total."

Well, that certainly got a look of shock out of my students as I answer their looks by going "Don't look so surprised, Shinji's already wearing 25 pound weights on each of his appendages since he had an early start on his training before we brought you guys in. In due time, he'll be wearing the same weight I currently am, and so will you."

Before anyone else can open their mouths to say anything else, we're all met with the sound of gun fire as I can hear someone outside of the room shout "Everyone, look out! Someone gave versions of All Star Batman and Robin Warper powers, and now they're trying to shoot up the place!"

Mura and Simon decide to deal with the problem as I step out of the room because let's face it, I wasn't gonna miss this as we eventually find the bastardizations of Batman and Robin who for the sake of preserving their legacies, we'll call these two "Crazy Steve and Dick Grayson, Age 12" armed with assault rifles as I can distinctly hear Crazy Steve shouting "Where are you goddamn people goddamn going?! I'm goddamn trying to goddamn save goddamn you goddamn people! _Na na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na, I'm the goddamn Batman!_ " in between shots while Dick Grayson, Age 12 goes "You crazy bastard, you're gonna get us both killed, and there isn't anyone to catch me this time!" before Crazy Steve responds "Shut up, you little dumbass! I'm goddamn working goddamn here!"

Okay, I heard enough of those two to last a lifetime. Thankfully, Mura and Simon waste no time wasting those two and taking their Flames of Creation in for purification.

Thankfully that's all over as I say "So, now that that's all taken care of, am I cleared to head back to Tokyo 3 yet, doc?" as I hear Mercy go "5 more minutes with rays from my healing staff, and then you can be properly discharged."

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)**

 **It's only been about an hour since I came to from that last attack, but of course Rei meets with me almost instantly after I wake up to tell me that NERV's got a new plan to beat the Angel.** Of course it's just like canon: they're gonna use their new prototype beam sniper rifle to try and shoot down the Angel using power drawn from the city as ammo, and they were gonna have me on the trigger while Rei would run defense using Unit-00 and a giant ass shield. Thankfully Bishops finally recovered enough to return, claiming that he got stuck in traffic due to the damage caused in mine and Ramiel's first round.

"Unbefreakingliveable, I finish helping with evacuations, and the primary roadway to the closest Geofront entry gets blocked by collateral damage. Took me over 2 hours to find one that wasn't stuck behind a military blockade."

I can see one of the military blowhards try to explain the situation before I can hear Bishops respond "Yeah, it can absorb kinetic energy and fire it back at the attacker, Ms. Musashi kept me filled in while I was away from the base."

That's when I hear the blowhard go "Well, did she inform you about Operation Yashima?" as Bishops responds "Yes, and frankly, I'm not sure if this plan is either completely insane or absolute genius. You do realize that Positron technology is only about on par with the development of Anti AT Field tech, right?"

"Yes, but personally, I actually think it's worse since we're drawing power from the city itself to power this rifle. As far as I see it, this is a horrible idea. I mean, what if another nation sees that Tokyo 3 has no power? They could easily try and take us out without any real means to properly escort civilians to safety."

Bishops responds "I can easily see that problem, but I'm afraid that the Positron Sniper is most likely our best shot at dealing with the big guy while the vigilante deals with the smaller kaijin."

The blowhard responds "That fool couldn't beat it the first time, what makes you think he can do it now?" as Bishops answers "Because this time, he won't be alone. Let's just say that he has friends in high places."

Once ol' ironside storms off at the thought of leaving part of the problem to a guy who couldn't get it done the first time, I approach Bishops and quietly go "Where were you really? When I came to, you weren't in the same hospital room."

He answers "You really think I'm gonna let NERV doctors operate on me, let alone find out that I'm the Tokyo 3 vigilante? Thankfully my old mentor rescued me and got me to a hospital on Planet Creation before NERV could do anything. Oh and fair warning, she and a couple of members of my old training team are gonna be helping us out with this mission. We just have to wait for them to get here with proper disguises."

Of course I have to wonder about the others in our group as I ask "But what about our guys? Where are they?" as Bishops answers "I have them doing some extra training. We're gonna need them to carry out the plan I have, but I just hope that it works."

I was about question about the kind of training they were doing, but the call went out that it was time to deploy and start the operation.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond)**

 **Operation Yashima has begun, and I get the call from Mura and the Dai Gurrens to signify that they could sense the Angel and the Kaijin waking up again**. Well, no time like the present to fight for the future or die trying. I fly into towards Ramiel and its herald as I see that the others were already there, wearing different color versions of my Vigilante suit.

"I am surprised that you survived my last attack, Lilin filth. You even amassed a small army to fight me. A pity."

I respond to the kaijin's snark by going "You may have gotten the drop on me the first time, but now I have a plan to take you out."

Ramiel's herald replies "And just how do you intend to do that to get to my master, you weak willed fool?" as I answer "Oh, you'll see soon enough. Everyone, battle stations."

The herald readies itself into a defensive stance as we get into attack stances before I declare "Let him have it, boys and girls!"

 _ **(Track Change: "The Biggest Fight (Instrumental Version)" by Hironobu Kageyama- Dragon Ball GT: Final Bout OST)**_

Mura, Toji and Kensuke kick things off by launching a trio of Ki blasts at the herald, causing it to actually flinch as Rossiu hits it with a larger blast in the back. Simon and I then charge in with a double beam strike, sending the freakalope down into the ground before firing off an extra beam volley. However, the herald wasn't done yet as it slowly rose up from the ground, ready for another helping of ass kicking.

"Did you honestly think that your little attempt at an assault would be enough to stop me from protecting my master, Lilin filth?"

I respond "Honestly, I was simply using that for a warm up. I know that there's a chance that you could also absorb the kinetic energy from Ki attacks alongside physical ones, so if we can bring you down before then, I'm gonna take the chance on it. Mura, any sign of power increase in this guy so far?"

The female Majin uses the scouter built in her helmet to get a reading before replying "Doesn't look like there's any major increase yet. But I'd advise wrapping this up real quick before he can get any stronger."

She didn't need to tell me twice as I gesture Simon, Toji and Rossiu to begin another energy attack onslaught as the herald readies itself into a defensive stance. The herald was actually doing pretty well with dodging what we had to throw at him...until Ami and Sakura came out of nowhere and began a new Ki volley on its back as my group dodges before dealing out some damage of our own as Kensuke and Mura quickly join in, quickly creating a larger crater where the herald landed. I quickly ask Mura to get in another power level reading on the herald, only for her to say that it's power has increased further as it got back up once again before going "I was hoping that you fools would have restored my power to beyond it's base state with your nature of physical harm by this point, but it seems as if I have to take matters into my own hands. For the glory of my master, and that of mother Lilith, YOU DISGUSTING CREATURES SHALL NOT GET IN THE WAY OF OUR GLORIOUS TRIUMPH!"

 _ **(Track Change: "Howling Moon 2"- Blazblue Chrono Phantasma Extend OST)**_

And that's when it happened: Ramiel's herald not only utilized the debris from our battle, but also the energy given off by the actual Angel's attack colliding with that of the first positron sniper rifle blast to impact its own body, increasing its power exponentially. That settled it: time to really go all out on this guy.

"Everyone, charge up to full power! If you have a transformation state, use it now!" I exclaim while powering up to Super Spiral while the others either charge up their own Ki, or take on usage of the Kaio Ken at their maximum safe multiplication.

"You pathetic Lilin think that changing your appearances will be enough to stop me?" asked the herald before adding "It didn't help one of you the first time, what makes you think it'll help the rest of you now?"

Simon then responds "Because we have the power to break limits, overcome what we once were, and take our past mistakes and turn them into the stepping stones for our own evolution. You may have beaten one of us the first time, but now you're dealing with a whole squadrons worth of fighters." before Mura adds "And taking down jerks like you is just how we roll." and I proclaim "Show 'em what we mean, guys and dolls!"

 **(Generic P.O.V. Shift: just the fight in general)**

 **Desmond's team and the Dai Gurrens begin flying towards the herald with Ki blasts energized.** Toji launches a "Double Sunday", Kensuke and Sakura throw out a pair of "Destructo Discs", Ami, Mura and Rossiu shoot off a trio of "Spacial Beam Cannons" while Desmond and Simon prepare a dual "Kamehameha" blast, all of which hitting the herald with a surge of sheer force. But the barrage didn't stop there as every one begins forming a high speed circle of death to fire a massive volley of energy shots, leaving nothing short of a massive cloud of smoke in its wake. Meanwhile, Jessie, Gendo, Fuyutsuki, Misato, Ritsuko and the bridge bunnies watch from the safety of their base as Shigiru Aoba comments "This is some serious Dragonball Z level crap going on down there. Who do you thinks winning?"

Makoto Hyuga responds "Who cares, I'm more concerned about oh, I don't know, the big monster diamond that we're supposed to be trying to kill."

Ritsuko quickly chimes in "What's the status on the next shot being ready?" as Maya Ibuki answers "Another 50 seconds, and it'll be ready, but the battle going on out there might cause a problem if Shinji can't aim properly.", only for Gendo to respond "The boy will be able to fire perfectly fine. Unit-01 and Unit-00 will resume the mission as planned." before mentally thinking "Wonderful, there's more of them getting in the way of my plans. I have to figure out a way to deal with these vigilantes, and soon."

The fight continued to rage on outside as everyone was firing energy shots at the herald who was surprisingly tanking every shot. Bishops calls out "Focus your aim solely on the herald! We don't need to create any more debris for it to increase its power with!" as a massive dust cloud forms where Ramiel's herald stands. When the dust clears, everyone was shocked to reveal that it was still standing with barely a scratch on its body, but surrounded by a massive ring of debris, leaving Bishops to simply say "Dammit, I jinxed it, didn't I?" as Mura responds "Not gonna lie, you kinda did."

The herald begins chuckling like a madman as it then goes "I truly must thank you Lilin for your stupidity, for it has given me the means to increase my power even further. Behold the vision of your collective demise!" before charging up energy again, creating another tornado to fling the debris into its own body once again. Bishops looked on with a concealed face of frustration and anger before responding "We need to end this now! Everyone get ready to go all out on this guy. Try to find a weakness in its armor that we can exploit in order to make this easier, but don't allow it to discharge its collected energy."

Everyone responds "Right." before beginning the final charge against the energy absorbing terror with everyone searching for a weak point as they continuously counter strikes thrown against them while dishing out their own. Ami blocked a blow to the elbow when she saw what she was looking for: cracks in the armor on the herald's left shoulder before being swatted away.

"Master, I've located a weak point on its left shoulder armor. Is it possible that we can extend the amount of cracks within it to increase damage?"

The entire team manages to see it as Bishops gives the order "Target that weak point! If we can damage it enough, there might be a chance that we can reduce its rate of power increase."

 _ **(Track Change: "Fighting For Tomorrow (OC Remix)"- Overclocked Remix Final Fantasy IV OST)**_

Ramiel's herald shouts "I will not allow it!" Before discharging a small amount of its energy to deflect and repel the oncoming attacks coming towards it.

"You insolent Lilins have annoyed me and delayed your inevitable demise for long enough. With every last ounce of power I have within my being, I shall dispose of all of you, and then be rid of those giants combating my master so Impact can begin at last. Feel the power of all of my absorbed energy, unleashed into one final attack!"

In that moment, the herald began to charge all of its absorbed energy into a single sphere while bits of its armor began to break from the action.

Toji simply goes "Oh crap, this is bad." before Kensuke adds "How are we gonna beat this guy now, boss?" as Desmond could only assume the position for one of the most popular attacks in all of animation.

"Everyone, clear the way. I'm going to try and end things with one hit."

Simon and Mura both figured out what Bishops was planning before the Majin opened her mouth to say "Doing that alone won't be enough, but if combined with others, you just might be able to overcome that masochistic freak."

Simon then added "Feel up for a triple attack, bro?" as Bishops responds "Remind me that I owe both of you for this. Everyone, unleash your strongest attacks. We're gonna settle this with one hit. Ami, I want you to fire the Unmaker on my mark, think you can handle it?"

"As you wish, master."

With that, Bishops, Simon and Mura began charging up their combined attack while eveyone else prepared their strongest blasts to counter the herald's final move.

 **"Fall, Lilin sucm! "Thunder Beam of Destruction!"**

 **"United Giga Drill Kamehamehaaaa!**

 **"Neo Tri-Beam, fire!"**

 **"Double Sunday!"**

 **"Spacial Beam Cannon!"**

 **"Inferno Fire Blast!"**

The bursts of energy collided as neither attack was willing to give way to the other. Even when it looked like one side had an advantage, the other would exert an extra amount of power to level the playing field until they could gain the upper hand themselves. It wasn't until Mura did something that caught Bishops be surprise that our heroes were able to gain the key to victory: in one instance of diverting his vision from the beam struggle, Bishops could swear that Mura had been replaced with none other than Kid Buu. Knowing that he would have to ask about it later, Bishops simply put everything he had into finishing the job as his team was finally able to break through the heralds attack before he shouted "Ami, fire now!"

With one stroke of perfect timing, the Unmaker's discharge connected right at the same moment as EVA Unit-01's positron rifle shot connected with Ramiel's body while the herald's now deceased body disintegrated the remains. This battle was over as most of the bridge crew were cheering that the whole ordeal was finished while Gendo could only leave the room with a restrained look of rage on his face.

 **(P.O.V. Shift: Shinji)**

 **Hahaha! They actually did it! Bishops' plan actually worked!** Note to self: rewatch their fight when I get a minute and maybe pick up some new moves, but for right now, there was technically one last thing to take care of. Yes, I could've left "Rei" in that plug to die, but unfortunately, canon and my inner sucker demands I play the hero. Opening the emergency exit door, I find her still conscious in a small pool of LCL.

"You still alive in there?"

She turns to me and responds with something that kinda sent chills down my spine.

"I will survive, but during that battle, a great truth was revealed to me. And I believe you already know what that truth is."

Oh crap, **she knows.** But how did she figure it out? I sure as hell didn't say anything! I can't be right for sure, so I have to ask.

"Really, which truth is it that you think I know?"

She responds "Not here, I wish to speak with representative Bishops as well about it. Can you arrange somewhere for us to meet?" as I answer "I think I can work something out." Oh dear god, I am in for it now.

 **(General P.O.V. Shift: 2 Hours Later)**

 **"Alright, Ms. Ayanami, what is this truth that you claim to have learned during your battle with the Angel?" asks Bishops now within the confines of his penthouse.**

"The truth that I have discovered is that *this reality is one of many, that we are nothing more than the machinations of a godly being who decided all of our fates, and that I apparently have a rather...provocative fan base.*

Shinji defended himself by stating "I just wanna go on the record by saying I absolutely had ZERO involvement with this discovery, like, at all."

Bishops turns and responds "I will hear your side of the story later, but for now, I'd like to hear how Ms. Ayanami came across this knowledge."

The human/Angel hybrid clone begins her story by saying "It was during the conflict between the vigilante and his associates and the being accompanying the Angel, during their final energy struggle, I was caught with this...sensation. As if something was willing me to know about this great truth."

Inside, Bishops was mentally kicking himself, thinking of the possibility that he may have exerted excess Flames of Creation to power up his part of the final attack with those flames finding their way to Rei's entry plug before stating "It's important that you don't tell Gendo about this revelation you have discovered. If you opt to dig deeper into the timelines, you'll learn that what he secretly has planned will bring misfortune and despair to this world."

Rei simply responds "Understood." before asking "Representative Bishops, may I ask a question?" as Bishops answers "Ask away."

"If I am apart of NERV and to an extent, Commander Ikari's plans, does this mean that I am meant to bring misfortune and despair as well?"

Before the level 10 Warper can even open his mouth, Shinji answers for him: "Worse, you're self aware. You actually have the ability to alter your fate along with those around you, and that'll put a huge target on your back if Gendo ever found out."

Rei then asks "What can I do to alter my fate?" before the third child answers "You want my advice: take off. Disappear. We have the means to cover for you, so you'll be more than free to discover yourself." as Bishops adds "I can see about finding you someone to apprentice under before you go too deep into the Multiverse. If you're going to consider taking the kid's advice, you should at least know the basics and how to properly defend yourself. Is that acceptable for you, Ms. Ayanami?"

Rei simply responds that she wishes to change her fate, that she wants to become truly alive before an Order of Reality representative that surprisingly wasn't Tulio came into the penthouse asking Desmond and Shinji which one of them squealed to Rei, who responds that she discovered the secret on her own before signing the required papers handed to her and receiving her gift basket in return. The Order representative leaves as the two "seasoned" Warpers and the newly appointed one were left to consider future options. Meanwhile, within the confines of Gendo's office, the lone bastard king sits at his desk, lost in thoughts of rage and hatred.

Damn that vigilante. Him and his hired help keep getting in my way. Their continuous disruption of the events foretold in the Dead Sea Scrolls and the destruction of each of the Angel corpses continuously prevent me from putting my plan into action. I need to find a way to be rid of all of them. It's the only way for Yui and I to be truly reunited, but how? How?

It was in that moment where the soft sounds of villainous laughter disrupted the commander's thoughts as he pulled a loaded revolver out of his desk, pointing it into the darkness and declaring "Show yourself."

"My my, Gendo." said the mysterious voice as the figure slowly stepped out of the shadows before adding "I see that you're still as incompetent and quick to violence as ever." as the figure was finally revealed to be none other than **Keel Lorenz himself, supposedly back from the dead.**

"Mr. Lorenz. Dare I ask what brings you to our humble little city when you and the other SEELE members haven't bothered to open communications in the last few months?"

The formerly dead SEELE leader answers Gendo's question by going "One could say that I'm here on business. Said business being vengeance against someone that you and I might consider a common enemy."

Gendo simply responds "Name this so called enemy." as Keel responds "I think you actually know him, considering that he's passing himself off as your superior officer, a representative of the United Nations. You might also know him as the very same vigilante that you were just recently bitching about."

Gendo goes into partial shock as he goes "You mean that Bishops and the vigilante are..." before Lorenz responds "One in the same. However, there is more to that bastard that meets the eye, like how he is the one responsible for killing all of the other operatives and leaving me for dead. Though I suppose that it was not all in vain. After the shock that killed most of us off, something was revealed to me. Something that I would be willing to share with you...in exchange for your absolute loyalty."

Gendo then pondered his options...if only for a second for a chance to get rid of Bishops once and for all before responding "Tell me everything."

(P.O.V. Shift: Desmond (me)

 **Well Rei's a Warper now, and it technically was mine or one of my team members' fault. Granted, we'll have to figure out when to fish out another Rei Clone to replace the now level 4 one, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.** In the meantime, everyone was celebrating Ramiel's defeat after a hard thought battle. I was busy figuring out what to do with Rei until Sakura decided to speak up about something. "Um, sir, can I ask you a question?" I get out of my mental funk and tell Sakura that she can ask away as she goes "Well I was thinking, most of the major level 10 Warper led teams have names. I mean Ryker Blackthorn has the Crystal Squadron, Kenji Blackthorn has the Outlaws, even Josho Blackthorn has his Amoral Aces. So since those teams all have names, shouldn't we have a team name too? I mean it kind of makes since if we're going to be working together that we should have something that signifies that."

She was right, I never got around to even thinking of a name to signify that I actually had a team. But then she shows off something on her phone that actually catches my eye.

"I was thinking of designing a logo along with maybe thinking up of a team name for ourselves. I mean it's only just a doodle, but I'm sure that maybe we can find someone who can do a much better job at designing it."

Her design wasn't really all that bad: a dragon flying upwards with the title "Ryujin Knights" written under it.

I respond "I won't lie, I do like this design. If you'd be open to a little bit of a name change, I think this could work."

I gather the others to show off Sakura's design while giving off the idea of a team name as they give their approval of the logo while Lyna asks "The logo is really cool, but what about a name for our team to go with it?" as I answer "Sakura's original name idea wasn't bad, but I suggested a slight alteration to help it stick. What do you guys think about going by the Knights of Ryujin?"

Kensuke gave his thoughts first by going "I like it. I mean, level 10 Warpers are basically gods among Warping, so it makes since that we fight for one." before Toji adds "I can get behind it. And before you ask, Sakura, I'm not just saying it because I'm your brother." Jessie goes "It has a nice ring to it, and if you wanted, it could be easily marketable." as the maids and Ami give their nods of approval before Shinji gives the final word by saying "Majority rules, "Knights of Ryujin" it is."

Well that settles it, looks like our team will henceforth be called the Knights of Ryujin as I turn to Mura, Simon and Rossiu before saying "Just to let you guys know, you guys along with the other Dai Gurrens are now officially part of this team too." as Simon goes "Well you know how to reach us in case you ever need backup."

There might be a few side steps that I'll have to take, but my plan is going better than expected. Tomorrow it'd be back to training for the next Angel and the arrival of Asuka, but for now, I don't see anything wrong with taking a personal day, because when the Knights of Ryujin make their official debut, it'll be nothing short of a wild ride. Now if only I could shake this strange feeling that something other than the Angels just made my plans for this world a whole lot harder to pull off.

 _(Ending Theme: "Aozora ni Naru" by Jin Hashimoto- Kamen Rider Kuuga OST)_

 **Current List of Power Levels:**

 **Desmond Bishops (me): 812,000 (Ramiel Round 1)/1,490,000(Ramiel Round 2)/23,548,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x29) (Ramiel Round 1)/44,700,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x30) (Ramiel Round 2) /40,600,000 (Base Super Spiral) (Ramiel Round 1)/74,500,000 (Base Super Spiral) (Ramiel Round 2)/2,000,000,000 ("United Giga Drill Kamehameha")**

 **Tulio Rodriguez: 831,000**

 **Shinji Ikari: 18,000 (Ramiel Round 1)/41,000 (Ramiel Round 2) (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **Rei Ayanami (Rei II): 5950* (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Toji Suzuhara: 27,950 (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **Kensuke Aida: 27,800 (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **Sakura Suzuhara: 27,800 (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **Hikari Horaki: 5.2**

 **Misato Katsuragi: 5**

 **Wynn Miyabi: 2784 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Eria Aoi: 2788 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Lyna Hikari: 2812 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Pen Pen: 3.25**

 **Shigiru Aoba: 4**

 **Maya Ibuki: 4**

 **Mokoto Hyuga: 3**

 **Ritsuko Akagi: 4**

 **Jessabelle Musashi: 3500 (Warper Status: LV. 4)**

 **Fuytsuki Kozo: 3**

 **Gendo Ikari: 6**

 **Keel Lorenz: 40,000**

 **Ami (Earth Dimension SJ-12639706): 42,800/85,600 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x2) (Warper Status: LV. 5)**

 **EVA Unit-01: 1,548,000 (Synch Rate= 49.88%) (Ramiel Round 1)/1,977,000 (Synch Rate= 50%) (Ramiel Round 2)/ 500,000,000 (Positron Sniper Shot)**

 **EVA Unit-00: 1,900,000 (Synch Rate=31.28%)**

 **Ramiel: Angel of Thunder: 80,000,000/500,000,000 ("Absorbed Thunder Beam of Destruction")**

 **Herald of Ramiel: Angel of Thunder: 40,000,000/250,000,000 ("Absorption of Power Unleashed")**

 **Mura Kage: 4,150,000/415,000,000 (True Majin Form)/2,000,000,000 ("United Giga Drill Kamehameha")**

 **Simon the Digger: 31,000,000/930,000,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x30)/1,550,000,000 (Base Super Spiral)/2,000,000,000("United Giga Drill Kamehameha")**

 **Rossiu Adai: 28,000,000/756,000,000 (Max Safe Kaio Ken=x27)/2,000,000,000 ("United Giga Drill Kamehameha")**

 **Dr. Angela "Mercy" Ziegler (Earth Dimension ORW-487463-Q): 480,000**

 **Dr. Moltar: 800,000**

 **"Crazy Steve" (Earth Dimension ASBAR-21-Q): 1,690,000**

 **"Dick Grayson, Age 12" (Earth Dimension ASBAR-21-Q): 900,000**

 **(Author's Notes: Well hot damn, Rei's a Warper, Keel is surprisingly still alive and is most likely gonna make Gendo a Warper (pretty much set up for the end of canon boss fight), and Desmond's team has its official name. Yeah, things are only going to get harder for the Knights of Ryujin from here on out with the Angels getting tougher and Keel and Gendo most likely hiring hit squads to try and kill them while training to do it themselves. That being said, I'd like to do something before episode 7's altered canon: I'm going to make a couple episodes that kind of tie the altered canon with the stuff from the "Girlfriend of Steel" visual novel (I never played it, but I can most certainly use the characters from it). Will Mana and her team become part of Desmond's team, or will something else happen? You'll just have to read on and find out. That being said, next chapter is going to start this little "Girlfriend of Steel" tie in mini arc with stuff for the maids to do, stuff involving Shinji and Mana, Desmond replacing the newly awakened Rei II with Rei III, and Gendo and Keel beginning their plans to get rid of the Knights of Ryujin. So until next time, DSX62415, out.)**


End file.
